Among Friends

[CalminHeart]

One never knows what is really going on in someone's life.  Maybe she sounds nasty but really isn't?  Perhaps she's struggling with a depression or other issue?  You may be her only lifeline.  You aren't obligated to answer every question.  Please feel good about listening to her.  It's just once a month and maybe she needs you.  

[jackthebear]

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@CalminHeart wrote:

One never knows what is really going on in someone's life.  Maybe she sounds nasty but really isn't?  Perhaps she's struggling with a depression or other issue?  You may be her only lifeline.  You aren't obligated to answer every question.  Please feel good about listening to her.  It's just once a month and maybe she needs you.  

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you are being very generous , but the OP isn't her therapist or social worker who could help her, the "friend " wants to unload 

it's easier to unload on an old friend than take action on one's own life and the OP isn't responsible ,

[Jackhound Mom]

@sisselYou don't owe her your "ear"!  She is getting free theropy and comfort from you but I would bet after counceling her you feel worse.  She is dragging you down.  My opinion is end this relationship!  Friendships are supposed to be give and take!  You will never get anything from talking with her except being depressed.

Sorry to be so forceful but I have been in your shoes.  I reached out to the Army wives when DH was active duty and a few were way too troubled for me to handle as a friend.  Save yourself and please let us know how you are doing.

Cathy

[panda1234]

@sissel  You reminded me of a friend I had. I was exhausted after I hung up the phone from her. She would never do what I suggested. In the end she was adding nothing to our relationship just taking. I have enough drama in my own life, did not need hers.

[Jackhound Mom]

@phoenixbrdI agree with you!

[godi]

As the others here said BLOCK HER 

[CrazyDaisy]

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@CalminHeart wrote:

One never knows what is really going on in someone's life.  Maybe she sounds nasty but really isn't?  Perhaps she's struggling with a depression or other issue?  You may be her only lifeline.  You aren't obligated to answer every question.  Please feel good about listening to her.  It's just once a month and maybe she needs you.  

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How ture, you never really know what is going on in someones life or how much they could need a kind word, and ear to listen or just to escape and hear about something good.  Would hope someone would be there for me if I was in that situation.

[Vivian]

A woman who lived down the street growing up "found me." We are in our early 70s, so many decades have passed since we were last in contact. During that time she developed serious mental illness. I'm no prude but every other word out of her mouth is of the four letter variety. She prattles on and on to the point where I just couldn't take it anymore. I stopped answering the phone when I saw she was calling. I stopped responding to her voicemail messages. She finally stopped contacting me.

[Nbo]

Don't pickup the phone anymore. After a few times of calling you she will get the message. I had someone like that and she got the message.

[NicksmomESQ]

  My mom had a childhood friend that she remained close to in their adult years."Pam" had a daughter "Sandy" 6 months before I was born.Because our moms were friends & we lived nearby I grew up friends with Sandy.

  Sandy & I spent a lot of time together.Our grandmothers were friends too that's how our moms met.

   In high school our friendship changed as did our moms. Sandy became a wild child.Ran around with the wrong crowd, took drugs & had a baby that was given up for adoption.

   I went to college. Sandy dropped out of high school.She had a couple more kids that she gave up etc.Pam ended up stealing money from her job to pay for her daughters drugs. It was a mess!!

   Pam went to jail for a few years. Sandy overdosed & died.

   I went on to marry.Mom hadn't heard from Pam in years. One day Pam showed up at my moms house.She looked like a bag lady.She lost everything.Her husband had a heart attack & died.Her oldest son was a police officer & wanted nothing to do with her.

  Pam was broke. She kept asking about my life.Told mom she was jealous that I was leading a happy productive life & Sandy was dead.She asked mom to lend her $100. Mom felt bad & gave it to her knowing she would never get it back.

   Six months later Pam showed up & gave mom back the money.She thanked her for her kindness.She kissed & hugged mom & left.
  Mom never heard from her again.

  Some people are just lost.A little kindness goes a long way. Yes, friendships die.It's sad when they do!!