What would you do? - Page 9

VaBelle35 · ‎03-10-2010

I believe SIL is opening the mail (and will continue to open the mail, even if she gets a warning letter from the estate's lawyer), because there are more things she did that she is afraid will come to light.

I don't think she's nosey. I think she's afraid.

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QVC Shopper - 1993

# IAMTEAMWEN

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

@VaBelle35 wrote:
I believe SIL is opening the mail (and will continue to open the mail, even if she gets a warning letter from the estate's lawyer), because there are more things she did that she is afraid will come to light.

I don't think she's nosey. I think she's afraid.

Sorry, I didn't know you knew her personally to have that insight

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

september · ‎03-09-2010

@50Mickey wrote:
@CrazyDaisy As usual we are only hearing one side of this. I wouldn't be surprised if the brother and SIL had a different take on things.

Bingo. I'm having a lot of sympathy for the sister in law at this point. Wondering if she posts anywhere on social media, where she gives her side of the story?

there are always two sides

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@qualitygal wrote:
Did you try the change of address cards at the post office? Anything should go to you that you are looking for, if you go and fill out one of those cards.

Yes, that's the way it's supposed to work, but it doesn't always. When I moved a few years ago, I filled out my change of address at the post office. Mail was forwarded to me for a few weeks, and then it wasn't. Some went to my old address, a few went back to the senders, and a lot disappeared completely.

Kind of off-topic, but that was my experience. I never just trust that things will happen the way they're supposed to. I sent a few test envelopes to my old address to see if they would be forwarded, and they weren't. That's my advice for anyone wanting mail to be forwarded. Test it out yourself, so you'll know if it's working the way it should.

And of course in this case the real issue is the SIl because she's intercepting mail that is not intended for her.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@CrazyDaisy wrote:
I would grow up and stop trying to control everything.

It is time to work together, resolve any issues and heal together. Constant creation of conflicts when there is none is districtive.

She's supposed to be in control of everything. She's the executor. And it certainly sounds as though she's not the one who needs to grow up. She's consistently taking the high road here, trying to keep things civil, even with this shrew of a meddling SIL.

If you think @hyacinth003 is creating non-existent conflicts, then you haven't been paying attention.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@ Montana wrote:
This is a direct quote from one of @hyacinth003 responses:

..."I have told my brother everything (other than mind numbing paperwork) I have in the works..."

To me, this does not sound like her brother is being kept in the dark or that @hyacinth003 is being controlling. The mail, in question was addressed to the estate, not to the brother or sister-in-law. Why would they open it anyway?

Yes, and I think she's mentioned a few times that she emails him about all of this regularly. She certainly doesn't seem to be keeping him in the dark. She's keeping him informed and also trying to do her job as executor.

Lindsays Grandma · ‎03-10-2010

@hyacinth003 ...I haven't read all of the posts so don't know if anyone suggested the following...I take it you had your father's last known address so perhaps you can fill out a change of address form with the post office to have all his mail sent to your address. Just a suggestion and I am sorry people are so disrespectful as to open his mail before sending the mail to you, especially since you advised them not to do that.

The moving finger writes; And having writ, Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line Nor all your Tears Wash out a Word of it. Omar Khayam

RealtyGal2 · ‎01-05-2017

@ Montana wrote:
This is a direct quote from one of @hyacinth003 responses:

..."I have told my brother everything (other than mind numbing paperwork) I have in the works..."

To me, this does not sound like her brother is being kept in the dark or that @hyacinth003 is being controlling. The mail, in question was addressed to the estate, not to the brother or sister-in-law. Why would they open it anyway?

In my opinion, however the siblings decide to handle matters, the SIL is not family, and should stay out of it.

I hate to be suspicious, but it sounds to me like the sister in law is behind all the problems and could possibly have contacted the post office and put in a written request that everything be forwarded to her husband, and that she has also contacted everyone else in the process with the same message.

RealtyGal2 · ‎01-05-2017

@CrazyDaisy wrote:
@AuntG wrote:
@KingstonsMom wrote:
@50Mickey

Maybe you missed the part of the OP where she states that the letter was addressed to 'The Estate of George Smith', mailed to his former assisted living residence and as the sole executor of Dad's estate, it was intended for her.

She's not sure how SIL got her hands on it and thinks she may have picked it up at the facility.
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This is the point @CrazyDaisy and others are missing. The mail should have been given to the OP unopened. If power of jealousy are part of the equation, that has nothing to do with the SIL violating the wishes of the deceased that @hyacinth003 be executor of the estate. I think a lawyer needs to send a letter to her brother and his wife.

Not missing anything, OP is looking for every reason possible to slam her sister-in-law. She wants total control over the process and is making the littlest thing into a major issue. Unfortunately this prettiness is probably splitting the family apart, not something her father would want. But I guess a win at all costs.

She has no idea how they got the letter, who opened it and if it was done intentionally or by accident. For all she knows some clerk at the assisted living home opened it by mistake. But of course it is the sister-in-laws fault

@CrazyDaisy:

I don't understand why you are attacking the OP. She is just trying to do the job of Executor that she was given without unnecessary interference. When mail is opened prior to her receipt she has no idea if anything was removed. She is also grieving. Give her a break and be a little nicer.

VaBelle35 · ‎03-10-2010

@RealtyGal2 wrote:
@ Montana wrote:
This is a direct quote from one of @hyacinth003 responses:

..."I have told my brother everything (other than mind numbing paperwork) I have in the works..."

To me, this does not sound like her brother is being kept in the dark or that @hyacinth003 is being controlling. The mail, in question was addressed to the estate, not to the brother or sister-in-law. Why would they open it anyway?

In my opinion, however the siblings decide to handle matters, the SIL is not family, and should stay out of it.

I hate to be suspicious, but it sounds to me like the sister in law is behind all the problems and could possibly have contacted the post office and put in a written request that everything be forwarded to her husband, and that she has also contacted everyone else in the process with the same message.

It's possible that Hyacinth is emailing brother with info and brother is not sharing with SIL. So maybe SIL is the one in the dark and that's why she's doing this. But I really think SIL is afraid of the next thing Hyacinth will find out that SIL did that was not right.

===================================
QVC Shopper - 1993

# IAMTEAMWEN