What would you do? - Page 6

hyacinth003 · ‎03-12-2010

@Warrior2022 wrote:
My estate attorney sent my siblings everything they needed to know. I gave my attorney her will and death certificate, that's it. He handled the rest. I don't understand wht the OP is not letting her attorney handle all 0f this?

@Warrior2022

Because I feel I can do it and save the estate a lot of money. So far, it is going smoothly except for this person's interference. Because my husband's family spent $80,000 fighting through attorneys. My Dad's estate is not really complicated as he made a Trust (and I am the Trustee) and I am already on his other accounts. I have consulted with his attorney twice, and I will be hearing from him with information tomorrow. It does not have to go through probate. I am paying his bills, cancelling his obligations, notifying those who need to be, and filing for his assets to be distributed. It can be done by an "ordinary" person with consulting an attorney when need be.

Hyacinth

gidgetgh · ‎03-09-2010

What would I do, as executor of the estate?

1- I would do a forward at the post office for all of your father's mail to come to you and not be delivered wherever anymore.

2- I would talk to the assisted living place and tell them.....again....what to do with anything that comes there. Maybe have your attorney put that in writing, by return receipt mail, signed receipt of delivery to them, so there is no confusion.

3- I would tell the brother to tell his wife to knock it off.

and finally,

4- I would have the attorney write a cease and desist letter to the wife, with a cc to the assisted living place and get a signed returned receipt.

And if she continued despite all that, I would try to bring some sort of legal action against her. Potential tampering with an estate or something.

Why is it, when I have a 50/50 guess at something, I'm always 100% wrong?

chiclets · ‎07-01-2012

The living facility should have on file a copy notifying them Hyacinth is the Executor of the Estate. Any mail they do receive should have been sent to Hyacinth, not to the brother. Any mail that is received by them at the facility should not be given to anyone except the Executor. The facility is accountable for doing either. However, the facility did need a legal documentation and verbal notice is not enough.

The post office needed to be notified of the deceased death and should also have on file a copy stating the Executor of the Estate is Hyacinth. She had to show proof of this and file a form for all mail having the father's name on it be forwarded to her alone.

If this was not done then any mail in the deceased name would go to the place or person it had gone to before the death.

The mail addressed to the Estate of the father should not have been opened by anyone other than Hyacinth and the lawyer for the Estate. The fact that the SIL opened this mail, knowingly known to her the Estate was being handled Hyacinth could be a legal matter. Even if the Estate is half the brother's mail addressed to the Estate of the father is only for Hyacinth and for her to open.

Sometimes verbally telling others is not enough. This is a family situation. Hyacinth is the Executor and has the right to take actions if she chooses to. At the end, it is her decision.

tsavorite · ‎03-09-2010

Since she is sending it to you opened....is it still in the original mailing envelope? THis way you can see if it's been mailed to your brother's address or not...plus if it went thur the mailing system there is a date stamp on the front. This way you can change to correct the address if it is going to your brother very easily at post office.

Also just a thought perhaps your brother feels it's no big deal for him to open it as it is his father and see what's inside? Maybe he opens it and then asks his wife to forward it to you??

Annabellethecat66 · ‎03-12-2010

Just tell her that by law (I know how it is in Virginia) you (as the executor) must fulfill the wishes of the person who died.

I know someone who was married to the guy who died. These are people who are very, very honest and so on.

She was his executor. She did not do all of the legal stuff (there is a time constraint) in a timely manner.

She received a summons to appear in Richmond, Virginia to explain why the estate was not closed out.

I know about this because these people were best friends of my late husband's business partner.

They were very high up on the Mormon church and her problems spread like a wildfire. Her friends in the church got together and helped her (legally).

My daughter was the executor of my late husband's estate. She was worn in when he died and eventually everything went to me.

I remember her saying that if I'd not been alive when he died she would have had to list everything (and I mean) everything that was his and say what happened to it.

Executors have a duty to the deceased to follow through with their legal stuff and this wishes.

My oldest daughter (same daughter) is executor of my estate.

So, again, explain to this lady that isn't just a matter of 'I'll do it (blase') and let her know it is a legal obligation and for her to "BUTT OUT:. Ha!

Please let us know how it goes. I have the utmost faith in you that you'll get through to her.

mom2four0418 · ‎04-23-2010

@hyacinth003 wrote:
@Warrior2022 wrote:
My estate attorney sent my siblings everything they needed to know. I gave my attorney her will and death certificate, that's it. He handled the rest. I don't understand wht the OP is not letting her attorney handle all 0f this?
@Warrior2022

Because I feel I can do it and save the estate a lot of money. So far, it is going smoothly except for this person's interference. Because my husband's family spent $80,000 fighting through attorneys. My Dad's estate is not really complicated as he made a Trust (and I am the Trustee) and I am already on his other accounts. I have consulted with his attorney twice, and I will be hearing from him with information tomorrow. It does not have to go through probate. I am paying his bills, cancelling his obligations, notifying those who need to be, and filing for his assets to be distributed. It can be done by an "ordinary" person with consulting an attorney when need be.

Given the stress that you are under, it does not appear that you can do this on your own. You want to save the estate money but that just means less money for the beneficiaries. It is well worth spending.. Also, you might want to edit the title of your post if you are not asking for suggestions.

“The soul is healed by being with children.”
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky

KingstonsMom · ‎03-09-2010

@CrazyDaisy wrote:
@KingstonsMom wrote:
Personally, I have to believe that there was a valid reason that Dad only made the OP executor of his estate, rather than her AND her brother.
Most lawyers will recommend that one person be named as an executor. While all involved can have a say it what goes on, there needs to be one person to make the final decision.

@CrazyDaisy

I guess it depends on the attorney/state, but we did our wills, etc. a couple of years ago and she recommended we assign 2, in the event that one couldn't serve for whatever reason.

She recommended we choose 'Jane Smith' OR 'John Smith', not 'AND'.

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.

tsavorite · ‎03-09-2010

@Annabellethecat66 wrote:
Just tell her that by law (I know how it is in Virginia) you (as the executor) must fulfill the wishes of the person who died.

I know someone who was married to the guy who died. These are people who are very, very honest and so on.

She was his executor. She did not do all of the legal stuff (there is a time constraint) in a timely manner.

She received a summons to appear in Richmond, Virginia to explain why the estate was not closed out.

I know about this because these people were best friends of my late husband's business partner.

They were very high up on the Mormon church and her problems spread like a wildfire. Her friends in the church got together and helped her (legally).

My daughter was the executor of my late husband's estate. She was worn in when he died and eventually everything went to me.

I remember her saying that if I'd not been alive when he died she would have had to list everything (and I mean) everything that was his and say what happened to it.

Executors have a duty to the deceased to follow through with their legal stuff and this wishes.

My oldest daughter (same daughter) is executor of my estate.

So, again, explain to this lady that isn't just a matter of 'I'll do it (blase') and let her know it is a legal obligation and for her to "BUTT OUT:. Ha!

Please let us know how it goes. I have the utmost faith in you that you'll get through to her.

This is going on right now in my H's side of the family...my MIL passed away over 2yrs ago and H's brother was the executor....there was zero money in account....house was mortgaged to the max....outstanding CC's which these companies filled a claim on the estate which was in probate cause brother's judge friend did the will for Mom as a favor which was never filled or done correct so probate on that! So the home was finally sold last April....all he had left to do would be fill the request to close estate in probate...and pay her taxes if anything is owed. It has sat like this for more then a yr....I checked on it last week and there has been summons coming to him from the court wanting explanation on why it is still open and finally a date is set that he must come in to deal with closing it in Nov. If they didn't chase him around with summons and I am sure some court cost potential he would let it sit like that forever. I haven't said anything to my H about it....Just check it out online myself shaking my head!

Allegheny · ‎03-19-2010

I know you have expressed that you didn't want to hire an attorney knowing you can handle the responsibilities and also not wanting to incur legal expenses onto your Dad's estate.

But you should consider that your SIL is annoyed at her lack of control and is not going to stop her antics of interferring.

Quite frankly, I think she would back off if she knows an attorney is handling the estate matters. Plus she would know the legal costs are coming out of the estate and less money for your brother. As someone else mentioned its a challenge for her to make you as miserable as possible. If it was me, I would take great pleasure in putting a stop to this behavior which she is thriving on.