What to say when someone is taking it wrong - Page 3

Drythe · ‎07-09-2011

This sounds as if it has become messy. While it may have worked well in the original design, from what you have said here, it seems that this person has tilted the field way to his advantage, and to the disadvantage of others.

So, he sold his cabin to his son, and moved into the caretakers cabin? Did he talk to the other owners first? Does he pay to live there? Did he pay for the caretakers cabin? What if you decided to sell your cabin and move into the caretakers cabin too? Is this correct?

It feels as if he is taking advantage of your good nature. If he is the caretaker he should be there to take care. When he is NOT there he should hire someone to do the duty while he is away, and pay for it out of his pocket. Unless he paid for the caretaker’s house, then watching and caring for the property is his cost of living. I certainly hope he paid totally for all the lumber, etc. needed to make the recent repairs.

Obviously he knows he has a good deal, and is wrong footed in this. Otherwise he would not be attempting to win favor to his side.

My feeling is that this person is quite slick, and has taken serious advantage of this situation. He has created a good situation for his needs with little equity for others.

"Animals are not my whole world, but they have made my world whole" ~ Roger Caras

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@dex wrote:
@NYC Susan @I didn’t fill in all of the details to try to keep my post short.Our past caretaker retired.The owner who is caretaker now thought it would be a good fit for him.We agreed to it as we are all friends and felt he would understand better than a non owner what are the duties listed in our contract.What I guess is apparent that he doesn’t feel security is as important as we do.

I can see in some situations that an owner being caretaker might be a good option. But not this guy. I noticed you said upthread that he's "sensitive" about conversation re his duties. That's unacceptable, IMO. Duties should be clearly spelled out and understood by all, and he has no right to be sensitive. He needs to be reliable and responsible. Period. No hiding behind ruffled feathers and hurt feelings. He's either living there as caretaker or he's not. And clearly he's decided that he'll do it on his own terms, which pretty much amounts to not even being there for extended periods of time. I wouldn't consider that having a caretaker.

IMO he's completely taken advantage of people who trusted him to be honorable about this. He thought he would be a good fit. He's proven that he's not. And you're right - Security isn't as important to him as it is to the rest of you, the ones who actually own homes there. He's 100% in the wrong here, and I can't understand how anyone could see it any other way. Good luck!!

godi · ‎03-09-2010

I agree with the posters who say he should not of taken the job if he was going to be away. You need to get a new caretaker, I am glad I’m not in your shoes. Feelings will be hurt here but it’s better than your wallet being drained. Good luck to you.

stevieb · ‎03-10-2010

@dex My sense is the 'caretake' and his wife are copping attitudes because they know their sweet deal is in jeopardy and they probably also know in their heart of hearts that they've not done the job they were supposed to do in exchange for living in the caretakers house and have let you all down.

I suspect it's not going to get better because what the rest of the owners should do is deliver an ultimatum that either he IS the caretaker and hence can reside in the caretaker's house or he's not and he's out so that you all can find someone to live on-site full time.

That he sold his cabin to his son says so much, including the reality that he didn't anticipate needing it since he had full access to the house. If he's living in the house free of charge or even receiving some modest salary then he's taken on a job that he's not performing. At this point, given he no longer owns a cabin, he's either an 'employee' or he's not...

This nonsense about having a friend check on things while they travel is not providing the service for which he was given use of the house... The best case scenario in my book is that he takes a hike...

In my pantry with my cupcakes...

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Owners will have to man up or put up with it.

RedTop · ‎09-01-2010

The solution to this drama, I’m not sure. But, lesson learned. Time to go to a lawyer and have a legal, binding agreement drawn up, and signed by all.

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@Drythe @I think you are right.We are a group of friends who have been owners of this property for 34 years and I think we may be taken advantage of in this situation.

jeanlake · ‎03-10-2010

Help me to understand....

Not a request from me but a good statement when someone is taking things wrong. When they talk, don't interrupt. Listen. Then it's your turn. You can help them to understand. Hopefully.

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau

dex · ‎03-09-2010

@NYC Susan Ok thanks everyone.You have helped me to feel a little more confident that I am right about my concerns.I was wondering if I was having too high expectations on the property security.

blackhole99 · ‎08-22-2013

I'm assuming you all ran this arrangement by a lawyer and got everything spelled out, all legal and all before this couple took on the responsibility. If not, good luck. My son owns and rents 5 properties and doesn't make a move without everything spelled out by his lawyer. So far so good.