What to do when you and spouse not on the same page?

isaboo · ‎03-13-2010

Husband wants to move to a different house. I don't like the house or the set up. It is in a rural area on the other side of town away from my church and other things I like. I like where I am at. He gets very angry with me when I don't agree with whatever he wants to do. He often gets a "wild hair" about things ( this would not be the first time he has had us move) I usually have to give in to keep the peace and stay married. I just don't want to do this especially now. It has already been a rough year dealing with my dad passing, my mom isn't doing well and our only son getting married - that was a happy time but still stressful. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

I might suggest speaking to your minister or a councilor. It's impossible to change someone. You certainly do have a lot to deal with.

Good luck.

ID2 · ‎06-25-2012

My dh wanted to move, years ago. I wanted to live forever in our first home. I relented and found that it was the best decision we (he) ever made. There's no time like the present.

"Pure Michigan"

lolakimono · ‎03-29-2012

@isaboo

Assuming that you own and do not rent...

Does he need your signature to sell this house and get a new house?

KentuckyWoman · ‎03-13-2010

I don't have any answers. My husband and I don't always agree but we really do treat each other with respect. He would never insist on moving to a new house in a different part of town unless I was fully on board. I don't like to be bullied or intimidated

I guess the best thing to do is simply tell your husband he is being unreasonable, selfish, and unsympathetic to your feelings. It's not all about him all the time. However, he may be spoiled since you say you have given in to him to keep the peace. Good luck.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

We are on different pages more often than not. For us we are sure it's due to age, sight, hearing, conversations, etc., It makes for an interesting life. LOL

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

@isaboo wrote:
Husband wants to move to a different house. I don't like the house or the set up. It is in a rural area on the other side of town away from my church and other things I like. I like where I am at. He gets very angry with me when I don't agree with whatever he wants to do. He often gets a "wild hair" about things ( this would not be the first time he has had us move) I usually have to give in to keep the peace and stay married. I just don't want to do this especially now. It has already been a rough year dealing with my dad passing, my mom isn't doing well and our only son getting married - that was a happy time but still stressful. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.

Just my opinion, and I'm not in your shoes, so you know best. I do believe, there comes a time, when you have to put your foot down, and get a bit mad or a lot mad, and make your no a no, no matter what. It is your life too and what's important to you, matters too.

house_cat · ‎03-09-2010

At 60 years old and almost 40 years married, I'm just now learning to stick up for myself. My husband is a loving man and has never been abusive in any way, but I have tendency to do what he wants just to keep things happy. I don't know if it's just in my nature, or if that's the way most of us girls were raised.

~ house cat ~

happycat · ‎09-18-2010

I'm sorry. I think @ECBG gave good advice.

Your own wants and desires matter too.

In-x-s · ‎03-09-2010

@isaboo wrote:
Husband wants to move to a different house. I don't like the house or the set up. It is in a rural area on the other side of town away from my church and other things I like. I like where I am at. He gets very angry with me when I don't agree with whatever he wants to do. He often gets a "wild hair" about things ( this would not be the first time he has had us move) I usually have to give in to keep the peace and stay married. I just don't want to do this especially now. It has already been a rough year dealing with my dad passing, my mom isn't doing well and our only son getting married - that was a happy time but still stressful. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.

Can you try to pacify him for awhile by telling him you would not be opposed in a while after things settle down? Tell him it is too much to deal with right now that you can only deal with one/two changes at a time. Maybe his "wild hair" will fall out in the meantime.