What should I do? - Page 9

manhattan1950 · ‎10-27-2018

@hyacinth003 wrote:
My 31 year old daughter lives with my husband and I. We are supporting her 100% due to her inability to work. She has applied for disability, and we had a court date for October 19, but it was cancelled. Seem the judge quit over a scandal! We waited a year and a half for the court date.

She lives with us and uses our vehicles. A male friend of hers (used to date, are now friends) had a serious car accident about 2 weeks ago. He is a type 1 diabetic, and had a low blood sugar episode and the car went off the road. He wasn't hurt, nor were any other cars involved. However, this was reported to the Secretary of State. They have suspended his license pending medical clearance and their "review board."

He cannot get an appointment with his doctor till the end of the month, and who knows how long the review will take. So this leaves him unable to drive to work. He works like 6pm to 4am. His father is also a type 1 diabetic with vision impairment. He is not supposed to drive at night, leaving her friend in a world of hurt. He drove him last night and I think it didn't go so well.

He has asked my daughter if she will drive him HOME from work at 4am. She is willing to do it, but I am really concerned. He has offered payment, but my concerns aren't just that. It is November in Chicagoland and we ARE going to get bad weather. She would have to drive dark, not busy, roads to get there and back. I would worry every time she did it. I have tentatively told her that I don't think I will give permission for this.

She is upset, as he is a good friend, and I feel bad about it too. He's kind of out of options other than his father driving him (if even possible in the long term).

Sorry this is long. What would you say - yes or no. So far, I am leaning no.

Hyacinth

A definte NO.

Q-Anu · ‎09-29-2013

Since the man has proven to be such a dedicated friend to your daughter, if it were me... I would do whatever I could to help him out during his time of need, within reason. This particular favor, due to your daughter's circumstances, doesn't seem to fall within the parameters.

Your car/insurance = your decision

But, if necessary, there must be some alternative assistance you can offer.

KellyT2 · ‎02-26-2017

Paratransit in Chicago may be of assistance. http://www.pacebus.com/sub/paratransit/sd_ada_chicago.asp

In Philadelphia, they run 24 hours/day. I use them to get to/from work. Longer times for pickup, but cheaper then other sources. Looks like Chicago is 3.00/trip.

KellyT2 · ‎02-26-2017

Looks like they have rides on demand, too! http://www.pacebus.com/sub/paratransit/default.asp

elated · ‎06-09-2010

elated · ‎06-09-2010

@occasionalrain wrote:
@elated The OP'S daughter is a college graduate and has been a manager at a fast food restaurant, has her license and is an experienced driver who, as far as has been posted, never been in an accident. No comparison to your grandson.

You are very insensitive. I think you should have moved on. I was pointing out that if another driver was on the road and was under the influence, it was a dangerous scenario. Her daughter is not working now and this could be a problem for all concerned.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@hyacinth003

Of course she is sympathetic to his situation, but he will just have to make other arrangements ... surely, he must have other friends?

hyacinth003 · ‎03-12-2010

I told her no, and she has been very upset.

She got pretty mouthy to me and I told her to leave my room and don't talk to me.

I told her we are concerned for HER safety driving alone in the middle of the night and he had choices and alternatives. If he didn't take them, that was his decision.

We have allowed, many times, her to drive him to eye doctor appointments (they dilate his eyes - no driving) and many other times. I like him and am very sympathetic to him.

And I feel hurt that we have been nothing but supportive of her and she got so nasty. I am hoping she will apologize and understand, but we'll see!

Hyacinth

CrazyDaisy · ‎03-20-2010

@hyacinth003 wrote:
I told her no, and she has been very upset.

She got pretty mouthy to me and I told her to leave my room and don't talk to me.

I told her we are concerned for HER safety driving alone in the middle of the night and he had choices and alternatives. If he didn't take them, that was his decision.

We have allowed, many times, her to drive him to eye doctor appointments (they dilate his eyes - no driving) and many other times. I like him and am very sympathetic to him.

And I feel hurt that we have been nothing but supportive of her and she got so nasty. I am hoping she will apologize and understand, but we'll see!

Hyacinth

When you treat an adult like a child and control every aspect of their life, expect some pushback or worse.

Someday, when scientists discover the center of the Universe....some people will be disappointed it is not them.

50Mickey · ‎05-21-2010

@CrazyDaisy wrote:
@hyacinth003 wrote:
I told her no, and she has been very upset.

She got pretty mouthy to me and I told her to leave my room and don't talk to me.

I told her we are concerned for HER safety driving alone in the middle of the night and he had choices and alternatives. If he didn't take them, that was his decision.

We have allowed, many times, her to drive him to eye doctor appointments (they dilate his eyes - no driving) and many other times. I like him and am very sympathetic to him.

And I feel hurt that we have been nothing but supportive of her and she got so nasty. I am hoping she will apologize and understand, but we'll see!

Hyacinth
When you treat an adult like a child and control every aspect of their life, expect some pushback or worse.

She is living in their home, driving their car and according to her mother, they are supporting her 100%. So yes are treating her as an adult who is completely dependent on them. Dosen't mean they are treating her as a child. She may be acting like a child by mouthing off and being unreasonable. Parents need to stand their ground on this one. Don't know where this man lives or works but I do know that Chicago has good public transportation. If he is unable for some valid reason to utilize the CTA especially to go to work at 4:00 pm (??), he can call for Uber or Lyft. Once they start driving him to and from work it becomes hard to stop. My take on all of this is that this is something that the daughter wants to do and she is mad because her parents have said no. I have been there with kids when you have to say no and it is not fun but daughter will get over it.