Among Friends

[Trinity11]

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@occasionalrain wrote:

Friends have donated their kidney to their friend but driving a friend for a month is too much to expect?

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It isn't if your health is good but the OP's daughter hasn't been well and is unable to hold down a job. Why would she be healthy enough to drive anyone anywhere considering her poor health.

As a Type 1 diabetic myself, I would counsel this young man that he ALWAYS check his blood sugar before getting behind the wheel of a car. In addition, he should have a quick means of getting sugar into his bloodstream when he was driving. It is one of the first things every diabetic who is insulin dependent should learn. Other people's lives are at risk...not just his.

[CrazyDaisy]

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@occasionalrain wrote:

Friends have donated their kidney to their friend but driving a friend for a month is too much to expect?

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It isn't if your health is good but the OP's daughter hasn't been well and is unable to hold down a job. Why would she be healthy enough to drive anyone anywhere considering her poor health.

As a Type 1 diabetic myself, I would counsel this young man that he ALWAYS check his blood sugar before getting behind the wheel of a car. In addition, he should have a quick means of getting sugar into his bloodstream when he was driving. It is one of the first things every diabetic who is insulin dependent should learn. Other people's lives are at risk...not just his.

The OP never mentioned that her daughter was not physically able to drive.  In fact believe she mentioned she uses the family cars for other things.   

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[occasionalrain]

@Mominohio You're assuming that if, a big if, there is an accident, the OP's daughter would be at fault.

You want the OP to avoid any liability so why should she ever allow her daughter to drive her car?

Accidents are more likely during the day when traffic is heavier or at dusk and dawn when deer are about.

The OP's daughter worked as long as she could so it can't be easy being on the receiving oh help. To me, the opportunity to be the provider of help would benefit her confidence and worth the risk, small as it is.

I recommend the OP asked her daughter if she wants to do it and if not to tell him her parents wouldn't permit it, but if she does I would have confidence in her and allow her to use my car.

[Trinity11]

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@occasionalrain wrote:

Friends have donated their kidney to their friend but driving a friend for a month is too much to expect?

---

It isn't if your health is good but the OP's daughter hasn't been well and is unable to hold down a job. Why would she be healthy enough to drive anyone anywhere considering her poor health.

As a Type 1 diabetic myself, I would counsel this young man that he ALWAYS check his blood sugar before getting behind the wheel of a car. In addition, he should have a quick means of getting sugar into his bloodstream when he was driving. It is one of the first things every diabetic who is insulin dependent should learn. Other people's lives are at risk...not just his.

The OP never mentioned that her daughter was not physically able to drive.  In fact believe she mentioned she uses the family cars for other things.   

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@CrazyDaisy How can she drive considering she is in constant pain...I read about her struggles on other threads. Even if she can drive getting up at that hour? It may be putting her life in danger in addition to others on the road.

[50Mickey]

The best solution is that he take a train or bus to work at 6:00pm. When he get off at 4:00 he calls Uber or Lyft. Trust me if he has a smart phone he knows how to download the Uber and Lyft apps. if he dosen't live too far from his place of employment it shouldn't be too expensive. My 28 year old daughter has lived in Chicago for over two years without a car. She uses the CTA to come and go even from the city to O'hare. At a certain time of night if she is out she takes Lyft. While it is commendable of you and your daughter to want to help her friend it is not a good idea to have her out on the roads at 4:00AM in the winter in Chicago. Lots of diabetics drive cars. Once he get his diabetes under control and takes care of himself he should be able to return to driving. In the meantime the CTA and Lyft should be his best friend. 

[Mominohio]

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@occasionalrain wrote:

@Mominohio You're assuming that if, a big if, there is an accident, the OP's daughter would be at fault.

You want the OP to avoid any liability so why should she ever allow her daughter to drive her car?

Accidents are more likely during the day when traffic is heavier or at dusk and dawn when deer are about.

The OP's daughter worked as long as she could so it can't be easy being on the receiving oh help. To me, the opportunity to be the provider of help would benefit her confidence and worth the risk, small as it is.

I recommend the OP asked her daughter if she wants to do it and if not to tell him her parents wouldn't permit it, but if she does I would have confidence in her and allow her to use my car.

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There is a risk there, regardless of how small you might think it is, and I'm confident any accident, could bring the sharks out to pounce on and increase the stress already in their lives. 

I don't think any of us know for sure how competent her daughter is at this point in driving, or how competent she may continue to be. And that is a question only OP can answer for herself (not that we need that information).

It is simply a pov that I thought should be considered. It gets to a point in life, no matter how much we love and want to help our children, what they want isn't always best for them or for us, and sometimes we have to put our concerns before their wants. 

And really this is a want. It is for a friend, it's not an emergency, it's not a requirement. 

I only know that as an adult, I'm very careful as my physical ability declines with my health issues, to not expect my parent to put herself at risk to do for me. I simply wouldn't do it, and especially wouldn't do it for a friend. 

At the very least, doing something like transporting someone else to and from work at night and in bad weather causing an accident will be deductible expense and possible rate increase for OP's insurance. 

As an adult, if I was needing help from my parents, I'd limit it to just what I absolutely needed from them. A ride to work for some friend just doesn't fall under that category, and expecting it is not mature or concerned thinking for my parents. 

[CrazyDaisy]

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@occasionalrain wrote:

Friends have donated their kidney to their friend but driving a friend for a month is too much to expect?

---

It isn't if your health is good but the OP's daughter hasn't been well and is unable to hold down a job. Why would she be healthy enough to drive anyone anywhere considering her poor health.

As a Type 1 diabetic myself, I would counsel this young man that he ALWAYS check his blood sugar before getting behind the wheel of a car. In addition, he should have a quick means of getting sugar into his bloodstream when he was driving. It is one of the first things every diabetic who is insulin dependent should learn. Other people's lives are at risk...not just his.

The OP never mentioned that her daughter was not physically able to drive.  In fact believe she mentioned she uses the family cars for other things.   

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@CrazyDaisy How can she drive considering she is in constant pain...I read about her struggles on other threads. Even if she can drive getting up at that hour? It may be putting her life in danger in addition to others on the road.

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Once again the OP did not say her daughter is unable to drive, that is your assumption. There are a good number of people who go to or come home from work at THAT HOUR.  Obviously since her friend need a ride home from work.  Getting up early is putting her life in danger, now that is just absurd.  Just how is that putting her life in danger.

[Trinity11]

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@occasionalrain wrote:

Friends have donated their kidney to their friend but driving a friend for a month is too much to expect?

---

It isn't if your health is good but the OP's daughter hasn't been well and is unable to hold down a job. Why would she be healthy enough to drive anyone anywhere considering her poor health.

As a Type 1 diabetic myself, I would counsel this young man that he ALWAYS check his blood sugar before getting behind the wheel of a car. In addition, he should have a quick means of getting sugar into his bloodstream when he was driving. It is one of the first things every diabetic who is insulin dependent should learn. Other people's lives are at risk...not just his.

The OP never mentioned that her daughter was not physically able to drive.  In fact believe she mentioned she uses the family cars for other things.   

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@CrazyDaisy How can she drive considering she is in constant pain...I read about her struggles on other threads. Even if she can drive getting up at that hour? It may be putting her life in danger in addition to others on the road.

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Once again the OP did not say her daughter is unable to drive, that is your assumption. There are a good number of people who go to or come home from work at THAT HOUR.  Obviously since her friend need a ride home from work.  Getting up early is putting her life in danger, now that is just absurd.  Just how is that putting her life in danger.

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Never mind. You are interested in an argument and I have no interest in it @CrazyDaisy. 

[Silver Lining]

@hyacinth003 said her daughter's friend also needs a ride to work. His father has vision problems and his driving his son might not be feasible. If that happens he will need transportation to and from work. His medical appointment is three weeks away. The actual review will take place sometime afterwards. The whole process is going to take who knows how long. 

Hyacinth's daughter has physical difficulties which are painful and disabling. From reading about her for several years, she is very bright and wants/tries to work but the physical pain and subsequent depression are debilitating. If I remember correctly she is a graphic artist+/designer but had taken whatever jobs she could get while also dealing with the challenges of autism. 

I think providing transportation for her friend once in a while would be fine but not every day and not for weeks or months. Maybe a compromise would work @hyacinth003. I admire you and your daughter.  I just don't want her to bite off more than she can chew, and that could easily happen. Best wishes to all involved!

[sunshine45]

i dont recall seeing how far away she is from her friend AND how far away the friend is from his job? are we talking a few miles or a lot of miles?