Re: What should I do?

Big Sister · ‎05-15-2010

@Vivian Vivian, there is nothing for you to do or fix, except be available when she needs to talk and have someone listen.

We all have choices to make in life, and it seems she has chosen.

You're a good friend to care for her.

10grands · ‎03-10-2010

The best thing would be to just be her friend, talk about things you normally talk about, not about her illness unless she brings it up.

Vivian · ‎03-11-2010

Thanks to all of you for taking the time to write. My friend's son and daughter-in-law are physicians and they're finally getting involved. My friend is seeing an oncologist this week and her son will accompany her. It's about time. She may have lymphoma. If you read the symptoms she has most of them although I understand lymphoma is hard to diagnose because it shares symptoms with many other conditions, but two doctors told her that's what she may have. She told me that she's afraid she'll die before getting a diagnosis. I think she and her family are FINALLY coming around to the fact that time may be running out.

Yardlie · ‎03-10-2010

@Vivian Florimond ... I am so sorry to hear about all that you are going through. You, your husband, and your friend all have a lot on your plates right now.

I had a close friend who had terminal cancer a few years back. She was young and in denial. I thought the answer was getting her to accept the fact that she was dying. My niece is a psychotherapist. She told me that being in denial was useful...and was a safe place for her to be. She told me to suggest to my friend that she get her paper work in order...just like we all should do...but to let my friend be in denial. It was not hurting anyone and was making the final stages of my friend's cancer easier on her.

I had never thought about it that way before, but my friend did get her paperwork in order...just in case something happened to her. She was in denial until she peacefully died.

Just be there for your friend...talk to her as much as you can. A lot of people survive lymphoma. She knows what is happening deep down. Don't take that hope away from her. It is making it emotionally easier on your friend. Bless you for being there for your friend.

A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~~ Steve Maraboli