What's with all the "HUGGING"? - Page 3

Sweetbay magnolia · ‎04-14-2013

I don't mind hugging, either, though there was a person at work once that indicated I couldn't get my paycheck without giving "a little love". Serious. I nipped that right in the bud.

Cogito ergo sum

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

Oh, that can be tricky. I don't deal with a lot of it because native New Englanders tend not to be the "huggy, kissy" type. However, we live in a mobile society now and there are more "huggers" and "kissers" than we ever had. In my circle, the problem isn't with men. Even before #me too, men didn't go around hugging women they aren't related too. Even you were really close and hadn't seen each other in a decade. The huggers/kissers I try avoid are women. Many of whom do the "hug kiss kiss" thing every time you see them! So, there are some women who I'm close to and don't want risk offending them, so I just take it. Other times, I know what's coming so I do a fake cough and say something like "sorry, I have cold coming on". That tends to stop the in their tracks. Sometimes, pretending that you don't see them and hunting for something in your hand bag keeps them at bay. Turning quickly to speak with someone or pulling out your cell phone like you are checking for a text stops them in their tracks too. As for children, my own girls are in their early 30's and that "give Miss Jones a hug" thing had ended before they came along. I remembered it from when I was a child, mostly from my Dad's side of the family who are from GA. As a very young child, I always wondered why I had to hug someone I didn't love or like and sometimes didn't even know.

Foxxee · ‎10-03-2014

What you describe is over the top. Like catching a contagious bad habit...and colds and the flu, to boot.

For me, never realized it until older my body language is not receptive to hugs or any invading my personal space without my permission. I don't have to do or say anything.

I suspect you must have appeared to be receptive to hugs or no one would hug you. You may have to adopt some sort of non-verbal communication that says "no," so that you won't need to tell those who hug you not to do it.

Yes, be prepared for overly sensitive reactions. Some may be insulted. They're just trying to control you...get you to do what they want you to do. That's just too bad. It's your personal space, not theirs.

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

I'd like to know when and why men stsrted hugging each other?

I get amused at Gary Goben. If he makes 3 appearances during a generic fashion show, he hugs the host each and every time. Give it a rest, Gary!

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

Alison Wonderland · ‎02-05-2018

@gizmogal wrote:
As one of these “huggers” approaches with open arms signaling their intent, you hold up both your hands in front of you and say, cheerily, but straight faced, “No hugs, please”. If you smile and indicate the hands off, the message is mixed. You needn’t frown or scowl. Just look and sound serious about No Hugs Please. Don’t look welcoming, hold up your hands with your arms straight and parallel, not wide and receiving. You can also step one or two steps sideways out of the direct path of the incoming hugger’s outstretched arms. They won’t change direction, they’ll just drop their arms.

This works also if you extend your right hand at handshake level, indicating you will shake hands but not accept a hug.

Huggers do accept (unhappily) that you are not welcoming the hug, and if you are consistent each and every time with every darn hugger who imposes this unwelcome gesture, they will still greet you enthusiastically but without a hug in a very short time. Be especially consistent in the workplace. Hugs don’t belong anywhere in the job site.

Only you can make others aware of your boundaries. You are allowed to maintain a body distance and resist body contact. Anyone who confronts you verbally about how “cold” or “unfriendly” you are being a hug “rejecter” may require explicit words to say you don’t want to be hugged and you appreciate their understanding.

You are entirely rightbthat children should be allowed the same body autonomy. They should not be requested or forced to give hugs or kisses. They can be asked if they’d like to give Aunt Bess a hug, but they need to be taught they can say no. And all children old enough to express a choice should not be hugged/kissed without asking if it is all right. Doesn’t matter boy or girl. Children have the same right not to be touched against theirvwill as adults have.

Maintaining your dignity and control over contact with your body is fundamental. People who hug because they want to will learn it’s okay for them to want to, but not with you! They may mean no harm, but you don’t need to support other people’s whims and good intentions when it comes to touching you.

That's what I do. It's worked for me since I was a teenager.

Sweetbay magnolia · ‎04-14-2013

I don't know if anyone remembers the late night comedy show "Fridays" (1980 - ). There was a segment called Men Who Hug.

I remember it being funny. And in fact, I just googled it - it's hilarious.

Cogito ergo sum

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Stick your hand out to shake hands in case they head your way.

In this day and age, I vote for hugs.

santorini · ‎03-09-2010

Bring on the hugs. I grew up hugging and everyone I know hugs - office or otherwise. I'm not offended in the least by it. I can't imagine a hug-free world. No thanks.

this is my nic · ‎03-30-2010

I wonder about all the hugging and kissy faces on the Q. Personally, I think it's silly. For those of you who remember when the Q first started, did all the hugging and kissing take place? I know it's been going on for a long time. Perhaps, the hosts, who think they're major celebs, are imitating show biz folks who hug hug, kiss kiss all the time.