Among Friends

[Kachina624]

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@Desertdi wrote:

My rear license plate.....as I was LEAVING TOWN

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@Desertdi    That would've been me leaving Houston.  Happiest sight I ever saw in my rear view mirror. 

[hckynut]

@house_cat 

Side by side, or 2 pix, of me at 11 years old. Prior to getting hit by a car, and 4 months after. 

Before I weighed 90lbs. After I weighed 140lb.  

Most that have known me for decades now thought I was/am "lucky" to be thin. Ahhhhhh! NO! Battled from 11 years old to get, and maintain weight. From the late 60's on, physical fitness was equal to, even more important to me, than maintaining a given scale weight number.

All I have now is a suit I saved from my freshman year. It fits a 48" waist, not my present of 28-30".

Another biographical story for anyone interested enough to read it.

hckynut 🥅🏒

[Enufstuff]

@chickenbutt  It saddened me to read that you feel that your life has no value. Having read many of your posts, you seem to be a very caring person and that gives you value to the other ladies who post here. In our way, without knowing you personally, we care and value you. Every life has value.Your mother brainwashed you to feel otherwise. She did you so much harm.

  You were not the evil one. Parents don't realize how even their words can harm a child. I worked in the office of a middle school

and saw many sad children who either lived in foster homes, group homes or who had parents with addiction problems or just not good parents. Over 32 years, there were several kids who were special to me. There was one 7th grade boy who would visit the office frequently after being sent out of class. He was not a troublemaker, just a silly, immature boy whose mouth would get him in trouble. He was a smart boy and a wonderful artist. I would talk talk to him about his art and how good he was. He drew pictures for me and I hung them up in the office. We knew that something in his home life troubled him.I talked to him about his behavior in class and that if he wanted to stop being sent to the office, he had to really try to just listen to the teachers and not speak out and try to be funny.

His behavior had to improve if he wanted to get into the high school of his choice.

  When he stopped being sent to the office so often and his grades improved, we in the office told him that we were very happy that he was doing better and acting more mature. By 8th grade he was a very good student. One day, when he was talking to me, he said that his mother was angry with him and said"She told me that she could have gone to school to be a lawyer, if it were'nt for me." I told him that it was wrong for her to blame him and that it was'nt his fault. I gave him a hug.

I cried for him after he left the office. I felt badly that a mother would lay a guilt trip on her son. I told the school psychologist what the boy had told me. He knew that there was a problem in

the boys home. That boy is in high school now and I hope that

things are better with his mother.

    I married very young and had five children. I didn't have the chance to go to college fulltime for my degree until I was 35.

I never would have blamed my children for my life choices.

   What I'm getting at is you are not to blame for your mother's

abhorrant behavior and treatment of you. You are a valuable

human being and deserve love and respect as much as anyone.

   I hope that you have supportive friends and at least one pet.

Cats and dogs love us unconditionally. Even outdoor animals

will appreciate being cared for and are a way to show that we care for nature and other beings. Everyday we are entertained by the birds, squirrels and chipmunks that we feed. Just last week, a little chipmunk came up to my husband and took a nut right from his hand. So Cute!

   Sometimes a daily affirmation can help us to feel better about ourselves. One I heard years ago was, "I am lovable and I am capable." You could add "I am valuable." Repeating an affirmation everyday can get you to believe it.Your place in this world is every bit as important a part of nature as anyone else. If you are a praying person, St. Jude is the one to ask for help. Our past does shape who we are, but we can create something better for ourselves by gentle self care and finding joy in small things. I wish the best for you. It's not too late.

[Drythe]

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@KingstonsMom wrote:

Any baby picture of me, my 'Mommy Dearest' was just like the movie, if you got on her nerves, punishment would follow.

My punishment was that my baby pictures were destroyed by her, took them off the wall and threw them, frame and all, out into the back yard for the next rain to ruin, but everyone was prevented from trying to save them.

That's not even accounting for her physical abuse toward me over the years, but not my siblings.

When I was 40 years old, I found out why this punishment was only directed at me and not my siblings.....I was illegitimate and a bad reminder of what she'd done.

Haven't seen or spoke to her in over 20 years, not sure if she's even alive....don't really care, but blast me for that if you feel the need.

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@KingstonsMom 

Holding my hand out to you.  I do understand.  

No one who has ever experienced such from the person who was supposed to love and protect them could blast you.  It is an unbelievably painful experience.  You have every right and expectation to protect yourself and your family from more of it.

One thing I’ve learned, forgiving someone means wishing them no harm, but it does not require welcoming them back into your life.

💙

[qvcfreak]

I have no childhood pictures, I'd love some of those especially on Sunday's when we would all go to Grandmothers and Grandfathers for the whole day. All our cousins and Aunts and Uncles.

I'd also love to have pictures of the holidays with my parents and siblings. 

Only pictures I have are the ugly pics from school.

[KBEANS]

@KingstonsMom 

Hey girl, You are not illegit to me! Sorry for the mess of a mother you had.  

I wish I had a picture of me and my husband as he proposed to me. We were laughing and giddy! 💕 

[GingerPeach]

@chickenbutt

I think of you multiple times a day. You've been INVALUABLE to me.

And why is that, you may ask?

Do you remember a couple of years ago I was desperate to get back the Windows 7 version of Solitaire for my Windows 10 computer (that Microsoft, in its wisdom, had chosen to delete from the upgrade)?

YOU knew how to get it back -- and so I followed your instructions. I use that beautiful version of Solitaire multiple times a day. It's like a palate-cleanser between sites, and especially to wind down at the end of the day. Just so much prettier than the W10 version.

My everlasting thanks to you, my dear informative, generous, and knowledgeable person!

[GingerPeach]

I wish someone had documented how I saved my little brother from drowning.

[Catiele]

A picture of me when I finally learned how to ride a bike. Trust me it took a while.

[GingerPeach]

@KingstonsMom 

I am so sorry you had to live through such turmoil and heartache caused by your mother.

I doubt you need or want any advice, but I can say that for me, Drythe's post has a couple of useful sentences.  I spent too many years being angry with my own mother. It helps me to see information like that repeated often.