What do you think? - Page 3

freakygirl · ‎07-03-2014

they're not even married yet and she's already being rejected outright. if you don't have enough sense to know that that doesn't bode well for your married future, or you think you're not marrying the family anyway, then go right ahead. just don't complain when things go sour. a snapshot of how things might be are in plain sight.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

They are living together, they aren't engaged. Meaning there's no wedding date. She isn't a Smith. She knows that, it doesn't matter if they share a bed or not. She's his girlfriend and often girlfriends and boyfriends are not invited to family events. I can't figure out why you would tell her to break up with the guy over something like this. I assume he isn't planning this event and he isn't responsible for who can or cannot come. What happens when you have a family reunion and you allow people to bring whoever they happen to be dating at the time is that you end up with more people than you want and also those strangers are in the pictures and videos forever. You can't distinguish between living with and just dating because that wouldn't be fair. So, you say fiance's, real fiances are invited but not dates. I do think her boyfriend could have figured out a better way to phrase it. Don't forget while they know they are in a committed relationship, she's still not family.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I swear people just look for stuff to be upset about. So, now she says the the father has a girlfriend who is never invited either...LOL Well, there you have it. Like many, many families who hold family events; girlfriends are not invited because they are not family. It seems like some people are confused and seem to think the boyfriend is hosting or giving this family party. I didn't get that impression.

StephfromIdaho · ‎03-03-2016

Are spouses invited? Perhaps it truly is JUST for Smith blood. Weird

Big Joanie · ‎01-02-2015

If they marry and have children .. would the children be invited and

not the wife ( the non-Smith ) ?

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

@Big Joanie wrote:
If they marry and have children .. would the children be invited and
not the wife ( the non-Smith ) ?

Wives are family my world.

Scooby Doo · ‎03-14-2010

@Calcgirl wrote:
Some further information: The get together which is annually consists of his widower dad, age 66, a brother and sister, bother in their 30's as himself. Also an aunt and uncle.
sounds very clannish if you ask me. Sad part is her family has waemly embraced the boyfriend. I say dump him quickly.

None of the three siblings have ever been married. Interesting.

I still think it's just an annual reunion for close family who want to keep close. You say the dad is a widower. Could it be that they made a promise to the mother of these kids to stay close to each other? Is this the anniversary of her death and they get together to pay tribute to her? It's a small group and it just feels like there's a meaning behind the get together.

If none of the family members are currently married, why throw girlfriends into the mix? We don't know the history behind the boyfriend and his other relationships/girlfriends with his family.

I think she's taking a chance of getting dumped if she makes a big deal of the situation.

Katcat1 · ‎07-21-2011

@Calcgirl, If he really cared about her, he would stick up for her and tell his family she comes with me or I am not coming. I have a feeling this guy wants to fool around. I would move out when he leaves for his "family" get together. He's not worth it. There are so many men out here that will RESPECT you and love you. He is a loser.

kindness is strength

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

@Calcgirl

My wife(we were together 30 years before married) has a huge family. Both her late father and late mother had 9-12 siblings. Many lived in different states, but they always had their annual reunions in our city.

I never got an invitation, but it had nothing to do with my last name. Went to 1, uninvited by the one that put them together. My wife however wanted me to go with her to 1 of them, so I went, uninvited. To me, gender should have nothing to do with it, one way or the other.

Personally, I think other people should stay out of adult relationships, it usually causes problems, many counterproductive. Mothers or fathers are bad enough, if they get too involved. Grandmothers/Aunts/Uncles and/or in-laws? NEVER!

What does "well educated" really mean? If it were me personally, and my in-laws looked at my "formal education", I would flunk the test. I have no paper certificates, but I am very well "real life educated", enough so that I retired 26 years ago at 52.

I am MYOB person unless asked by 1 of the 2 involved, and then am reluctant to offer suggestions or advice. Listen? Yes. Get involved? No!

hckynut(john)

hckynut(john)

hckynut · ‎03-10-2010

@Kachina624 wrote:
I'd say the young man has spoken loud and clear. She's wasting her time and now she needs to cut her losses and move on. For some reason he doesn't want to present her to his family, probably for a reason that has nothing to do with her personally.

Hello @Kachina624

And I disagree. No relationship should be based on invites to family gatherings, or any other 1 factor. Of course my wife met my family, but not too many are together 30+ years before they marry.

I have no idea about this particular relationship, nor do you. Myself, generalisations mean zip when it comes to most everything in personal lives. That includes health issues, and in this case, a relationship.

Don't disagree with you often, but hey! =^..^=

hckynut(john)

hckynut(john)