Among Friends

[FranandZoe]

---

@dex wrote:

It could become a teaching experience..you could show him that cooking at home can add up to big savings..tally up a week of fast food versus a week of home cooking and shopping for sales and coupon shopping..set aside the money saved each week and put it into a bank account to pay for a fun outing...whatever he thinks would be great to try or buy.

---

Might be worth a try - thanks.

[FranandZoe]

---

@BirkiLady wrote:

@FranandZoe  Your DIL responded, "That's fine. I'll take care of it." 

Doesn't that indicate she's the parent and going to address the situation in whatever manner she sees fit? I'd leave it up to her. It's between the two of them. It is not your decision at this point. She's told you, "I'll take care of it."

Don't know where your son is in this family, but if you want to remain on friendly terms with your DIL it would be a good idea to let her handle the after school food. Perhaps he's stopping with friends at Panera, rather than going with his Grandmother? We are only getting one side of the story. He may be eating healthy food. Without his side, we will never know.

Stopping with friends at Panera?  Um no lol.

Yes you definitely need his side.

Thanks for your response.  

---

[FranandZoe]

---

@Wiscfan3 wrote:

@FranandZoe You sound like a wonderful, caring grandma who just wants her grandson to eat, like so many grandmas do. I sure wouldn't turn down soup and grilled cheese for fast food, but he is at the age where it is so tempting and more fun to eat junk food. Just keep trying and limit the number of times you take him for fast food. 

---

You're exactly right Wiscfan3 - thanks so much!

[FranandZoe]

---

@50Mickey wrote:

I don't think kids that age are going to get excited about cooking lessons or the cost of home cooked treats vs. fast food. Kids this age come in from school revenous. Sometimes they do not eat their lunch because they dont have time to eat the lunch.  Find out if he likes pizza. Simple homemade cheese pizzas are easy to make and you can control the toppings. Apple wedges, cheese chunks, grapes. Or keep some ready made hamburger patties that could be cooked up quickly.  I like your idea of limiting the  fast food to 2 treats a week. It's my experience with kids that their taste buds change and usually they grow out of the disire for a menu consisting of only fast foods.  What fast food you buying for him that costs $18? 

As far as his mother response "I'll take care of it" what's wrong with this? 

---

Thans carrie ann.  All good suggestions.  Like I said above - not all fast food.  
Maybe nothing wrong witht the response - just me probably.

[FranandZoe]

---

@millieshops wrote:

The experts always tell us we can change ourselves, not others.  I'm not sure I'm even successful at changing my own behaviors all that often, but that's where I start.

In this case, I'd be happy if you stopped enabling your grandson's fast-food habit.  He's probably too young to earn the kind of money you've been spending to treat him.

---

millieshops - enabling is definitely the right word - thanks.

[FranandZoe]

Thanks so much everyone!

[dex]

@FranandZoe @I did teach my young son all of these things and he is a great and thrifty cook at 33.He shops flyers and cupons when planning meals each week.I don’t know if your grandson is interested in cooking but my son and I had fun doing it.When he was in college and cooking big dinners for all of his housemates he would call me and I would have to talk him through the steps.He made borscht,cabbage rolls,turkey dinners with gravy and stuffing all while I guided him over the phoneLol.

[mizree]

@FranandZoe teenagers are a special kind of fun.  Are you to provide your grandson a snack or meal?  If it's a snack maybe you have healthful choices in the door of frig (baby carrots, cheese sticks, yogurt,  pudding cups.  When he arrives just say wash your hands and grab a snack.  With my children, we get fast food for evening meal once a week only.  They pick the food.  I announce the day in advance and combine with errands or chore I need to accomplish.  I'm sure his mom just didn't have time to address the issue when you talked with her.  It will be best if you can work these little difficulties with your grandson directly.  Best of luck.

[esmerelda]

@FranandZoe  Doubt he's eating this unhealthy food alone.  Why not suggest that he invite a friend or two to eat at your house after school?  Maybe the company is the draw more than the unhealthy food.

[Sage04]

@FranandZoe, you told his mom that it´s getting too expensive (of course it is) so now she will give him the money to buy what he wants. That´s what she meant when she say she´ll take care of it. 

The fast food phase only last a while for most kids.

Have you ever had a snack with him? I would suggest to him that maybe twice a week you can make something special that you two can eat together. See how that works.