What do you think about this? - Page 2

I am still oxox · ‎03-09-2010

In all honesty it is not that horrible, it is their choice how they celebrate their nuptials

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and start being positive what could go right.

phoenixbrd · ‎03-27-2010

@Quse You appear to be struggling with your real feelings about the event and an obligation. Life is short too short to please others at your own expense. I agree, either send a card expressing regrets or decide that the friendship warrants a bridal shower so you will go and enjoy the occasion and don't give it any more time in your life. Spend a few minutes to decide priorities, act on it, and move on. It is the struggle that is wearing.

PamelaSue72 · ‎09-22-2011

My nephew had a very fancy wedding for his first marriage, which ended in divorce. When he got married the second time (to a woman who was also divorced), that wedding was very nice, but lower key.

The bride's mother did have a wedding shower for her daughter, even though it was her second marriage. She said she had never had a shower for her first wedding and so she wanted to give her a shower this time. They are both professionals with good-paying jobs and they really didn't need anything. I think the shower was simply because she had never had one. I remember thinking that everything on the gift list was terribly expensive....at least I thought so.

I didn't go to the shower; it was in a neighboring state and, at the time, we had other things going on. I sent my regrets, but did give a shower gift (a gift certificate in our price range). We did go to the wedding (in that same neighboring state). We had to arrange for petsitter for the cats and boarding for the dog.

I like my nephew's second wife more (much more, actually) than I did his first. She's a sweetie.

I guess the bottom line is that you do what you want to do. Obviously it really bothers you.

NicksmomESQ · ‎08-19-2014

I understand & agree with you.Life is to short.Do what you feel you need to.You should have no regrets !!

q-girl · ‎10-05-2011

@Quse. . . . While I agree with you regarding the method of invitation, I respectfully disagree about the reason for the bridal shower.

I agree that for an event as important and joyful as a bridal shower, a written invitation should be sent, with a proper RSVP expected in return. Perhaps you could send a subtle sign of your feelings by responding with a hand written RSVP.

On on the other hand, while a bridal shower may have originally been intended to help a young couple start a household, today many couples, even in first marriages have been living either on their own or together, and have many or all of the things they need to set up house. A bridal shower, IMO, is also an occasion to celebrate with the bride, and those family and friends who love and care about her and her groom, and to wish her well on her upcoming "new" life.

If, as you say, you really do like both the bride and the groom, and you are truly happy that they are getting married, then by all means attend the shower, and celebrate their joy. As for a gift, be creative. Present the couple with a special bottle of wine or champagne, or a gift certificate for a nice dinner at a favorite restaurant, or even a gift card to a local home store such as Lowes or Home Depot if they already own a home. Try to think of something that an established couple might enjoy. Either way, have fun and honor your friends' commitment to their loving future.

Hugs. . .

Life is tough, but I am tougher!!

sunshine45 · ‎03-09-2010

i see absolutely nothing wrong with EVITES or with second bridal showers and if it were me i would attend and take a gift. if you dont feel comfortable going, then dont go......pretty simple. it really depends on how you feel and if you want to help them celebrate.

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"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein

Silver Fox1 · ‎08-14-2015

I couldn't agree with you more ! Stop fretting about it and just sent regrets.

TheMemphisVette · ‎02-01-2015

I too think this is odd. But then, it seems I am at odds with so much of what goes on. Age? Maybe. Value changes? Maybe.

I try hard to have tolerance for things done differently than I would do them. Otherwise, I would participate in very little.

~~today may be my last.....i choose JOY!~~

kaydee50 · ‎02-07-2011

I see nothing wrong with Evites. I'm in my mid 60s and email is one of the few things I like about the 21st century! It is easy and quick to respond.

I agree that having a second bridal shower for a second marriage is a bit tacky. I would email my regrets. As far as seeing your friends, I doubt anyone will miss you and you can catch up with them on your own terms in the future.

BTW I hate going to any bridal shower (baby showers are even worse). There is nothing more boring than watching someone open up presents for hours on end.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

@TheMemphisVette....I agree with you and feel at odds a lot these days.

DH and I are struggling with a family 'thing'....I will not post about it because it would be a feeding frenzy and I would be the one being feasted upon....are feelings have been hurt by a family member and we are not wanting to compromise....yet....this stuff gets old after a while.