Among Friends

[LTT1]

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wrote:

I think when it really all comes down to it, we don't have much control over anything but ourselves (our behavior our attitudes and our actions), and even then, there is a power bigger than we are that will ultimately have the final say in all that happens. 

I think sometimes we can say or do something that makes an impact on others in either a positive way or a negative way, but just how much influence we really have in a situation like that is really dependant on the other person, as again they are in control of their behavior, attitudes and actions. 

That said, I do believe we should try to do kind and positive and helpful things, maybe not so much to influence things, but to simply put out some good into the universe, as enough of the good things will overcome some of the bad.

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@Mominohio

I agree with everything you wrote. To sum it up for myself, I have control over my opinions of me, not over others’ opinions of me.

i do not control other people’s actions... I like to say that is “theirs to own.” 

That includes their anger... theirs to own.

A kind word and a smile from me MIGHT lighten someone’s load...but sometimes not. And I need to remember that a pleasant demeanor on my part is MORE LIKELY to elicit a positive response from others.

[MsCatLuver]

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wrote:

I have never had any desire to influence anyone, to call all the shots, or to require that everyone around me sees things my way.

I have opinions and POV, and I will give advice when asked, but it’s not a question of influence. I’ve never felt any need to influence others, and have zero interest in “my way or the highway” folks.

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@Moonchilde  ITA ...Also, I LOVE your Screenname, Moonchilde, 

[jubilant]

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wrote:

Some people don't seem to think they have any control over anything and others seem to think they control everything.

I think I have control over my money to a great extent but little  control over my health.

How about you?

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*************   I am taking the word control here to mean "how much control you feel that you have over your own life"?  Over my own person, I would have to say, I make my own choices, so if that is being in control of myself and my actions.... I am.  I don't think I can control another person, the weather, and everything that happens to me....so I feel no one has total control.  As far as influencing others, I think all of us have influence in others lives whether we choose to or not.  Hopefully that influence will be more good than bad!!!        

[excpa]

@MacDUFF  I don't think "control" and "influence" are interchangable but they are different levels of the same thing, with control being more harsh.  

I love your quote.

[SelahG]

Deliberate influence ... very little. Personal choices; conduct myself with personal responsibility in mind; trying to be supportive for others is a two-way street depending on how it is received, no matter my intensions.

My reaction to tough situations in life, when I can manage to maintain self-control is often more than enough for me, thanks. That's why I pray for strength and guidance. I know I’m not in control of even my own entire destiny, though I try to plan for the future carefully as I near retirement age.

That is the best I can do. Unforeseen tragedy still strikes without prejudice — random chaos and great suffering shares our existence here. I don’t dwell on it; just accept that fact and go on hoping for the best for all of us. 

[excpa]

@libbyannE  Sorry my question doesn't meet your specifications!

I wasn't looking for a doctoral thesis defense.

[mcducky]

Great question!  We influence others whether or not we realize it.  We can't control their reactions but we can learn from them.

[CalminHeart]

We only have control over ourselves.

We can influence others by being nice, charitable, honest, upbeat, fair, and free of racism and bigotry.  

Trying to control others is futile.  That's the piece that cracks me up.  I see all these posts bashing hosts and other people...I don't understand how people think they have the right to expect others to be/do/think/believe/talk/dress the way they want.  

[LTT1]

@excpa

adding this:

[Still keeper of the koi]

I personally think how we live ,speak kindness,and project into the world influences others.If you have a house  fulll of people and one is in a bad mood,watch how contagious it is.... We have the ability to set things in motion for good or bad,that defines who we are. I like to keep my mind in positive places,I feel I  am accomplishing more. I think this is a topic not defined, Do you have control or influence? Many different  opinions on  this ,.Different things to different people.  MaryAnne