Among Friends

[jeanlake]

Not sure my answer lines up with the question, but this came to mind: Most of us have zero control over anyone. I have control over aspects of my life, but still live in a world where anything can happen. Selected an occupation where I'm able to help people and am fortunate to have met many personal goals. Wake up each morning and try to keep moving forward in positive ways. 

[NycVixen]

To be honest when it comes to most people other than the people I work to help, I don't really care anymore. My focus is doing what is best for me and influencing my own outcomes. I've wasted so much good energy trying to help and better the lives of my family etc. only to be used and abused.

I know I am making a difference in my work. My goal for 2018 is to make it my year. Anyone standing in my way better move or they will be pushed aside. All of my assets and power will be used to move forward my own agenda. If my achievements make anyone uncomfortable that is not my problem. I've regained control over my life and it feels amazing.

[Moonchilde]

I have never had any desire to influence anyone, to call all the shots, or to require that everyone around me sees things my way.

I have opinions and POV, and I will give advice when asked, but it’s not a question of influence. I’ve never felt any need to influence others, and have zero interest in “my way or the highway” folks.

[Snowpuppy]

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@blackhole99 wrote:

I think you can only influence things in your own circle or microcosm and that's because people care about you. Health, wealth and the world can change and you have very little control over it. How many people found themselves out of a job and homeless, not that many years ago.

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I think the work hard, you'll get ahead is dead in the US. People are just numbers to employers. 

I'll politely disagree that people around you 'care'. You lose your job, your home...see how lonely you wind up. 

[Shanus]

I can control certain aspects of my health. I’ve also learned the hard way that some relationships can have a negative impact on your life and mental health. Anyone who constantly gets me down and offers nothing but negative energy has been cut loose.

Perhaps the most difficult part of having control is recognizing those things we can’t control and letting those go. It takes too much energy to try to change something that is an impossibility.

[Trinity11]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

I have never had any desire to influence anyone, to call all the shots, or to require that everyone around me sees things my way.

I have opinions and POV, and I will give advice when asked, but it’s not a question of influence. I’ve never felt any need to influence others, and have zero interest in “my way or the highway” folks.

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@Moonchilde I need to apply this to my responses on the Wellness forum. The misinformation over there about numerous topics especially plants and their my way or the highway mentality. Well, I like your ability to ignore. Very smart lady...

[libbyannE]

Why do you ask? Too broad and general a question.

[Moonchilde]

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

I have never had any desire to influence anyone, to call all the shots, or to require that everyone around me sees things my way.

I have opinions and POV, and I will give advice when asked, but it’s not a question of influence. I’ve never felt any need to influence others, and have zero interest in “my way or the highway” folks.

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@Moonchilde I need to apply this to my responses on the Wellness forum. The misinformation over there about numerous topics especially plants and their my way or the highway mentality. Well, I like your ability to ignore. Very smart lady...

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@Trinity11, the harder, and ruder, that anyone pushes anything at me - from an idea to a lifestyle to a set of sheets, especially if the inference is willful ignorance - the more that tells me it’s people whose communication style is bombast, hyperbole and “shame”, and that’s what they’re about - bombast, hyperbole and attempt to shame by preaching “ignorance” of their special clubness.

If you need to insult someone to get your point across, then your objective wasn’t to get a point across, it was to insult. That’s easy to ignore, because it’s so obvious. 

[Trinity11]

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@Moonchilde wrote:

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@Trinity11 wrote:

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@Moonchilde wrote:

I have never had any desire to influence anyone, to call all the shots, or to require that everyone around me sees things my way.

I have opinions and POV, and I will give advice when asked, but it’s not a question of influence. I’ve never felt any need to influence others, and have zero interest in “my way or the highway” folks.

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@Moonchilde I need to apply this to my responses on the Wellness forum. The misinformation over there about numerous topics especially plants and their my way or the highway mentality. Well, I like your ability to ignore. Very smart lady...

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@Trinity11, the harder, and ruder, that anyone pushes anything at me - from an idea to a lifestyle to a set of sheets, especially if the inference is willful ignorance - the more that tells me it’s people whose communication style is bombast, hyperbole and “shame”, and that’s what they’re about - bombast, hyperbole and attempt to shame by preaching “ignorance” of their special clubness.

If you need to insult someone to get your point across, then your objective wasn’t to get a point across, it was to insult. That’s easy to ignore, because it’s so obvious. 

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So very true @Moonchilde. I always learn a lot from you. You put that eloquently.

[MacDUFF]

@excpa

I'm in the process of organizing some of my word documents ('cuz I'm tired of organizing my closet lol).  I had to pare down a 185 page word doc...ridiculous!   It's been a dumping ground for quotes and poems and links, etc. I've been collecting for years.

Anyway (blahblahblah lol), I came across this and thought of your thread.  I got to thinking about it and wondered if we all don't influence those around us whether we intend to or not. 

Also, you used "influence" in your title, but used "control" in your OP, and I wondered if they were really interchangable...?  I think of "control" more as "manipulation" or "dominance" and "influence" more as "sway," as I think is being said here...

Go make thy garden fair as thou canst,

Thou workest never alone;

Perhaps he whose plot is next to thine,

Will see it, and mend his own.

~Unknown