Among Friends

[missy1]

---

@Mom2Dogswrote:

I am very private when it comes to matters like this....I don't even want a funeral....not sure where my feeling come from either.

A card would be nice and if you take food, make sure it can be frozen and the dish/container does not have to be returned.

---

I am a private person when it comes to this situation. Somebody I know relative had passed. I wanted to them to know I was there to help (if needed), but I did not want to intrude. Some people don't want flowers/food or a phone call. I did a simple text and signed a card.

[151949]

Where I come from usually someone who is friends with them will collect among the neighbors for flowers or a fruit basket. Beside that you could send a sympathy card. When you see her outside you just say you are so sorry to hear he has died.

[AuntG]

---

@SeaMaidenwrote:

To everyone who shared their thoughts thank you so much.  You gave me such nice suggestions. Once I know what was going on for sure... and give the situation some time,  I will mail a card and perhaps  leave a plant or such on her door step. 

---

======

I would wait until the obituary appeared in the paper and then send a card. Sometimes I send it right to the funeral home if I don't attend the service.

[chrystaltree]

Gift?  Do you mean like Diamonique earrings?????   I can only tell you how I would handle it which I believe is how most people would handle it.  There will be a an obit in the paper that tells where and when the viewing/wake/funeral will be held.  Since this a close neighbor who I dod speak to once or twice; I would go to the funeral home and pay my respects and sign the book.  I would also send the widow a sympathy note or card.  If I bumped into her while out&about; I'd say say usual hellos and express my sympathy on the loss of her husband.  Do not, as so many rude people do today, ask "what happened?"   If I was friendly with the family, meaning if we socialized; I'd take a casserole or pie or cake to the house.   

[goldensrbest]

@geezerette I am sure you are still in shock ,trying to put one foot in front of the other, sorry your husband has passed.

[SeaMaiden]

---

@lolakimonowrote:

@SeaMaiden

If the roles were reversed, what would you want her to do for you?

---

 @lolakimono  Great Question.

Honestly I do not know. I  can not share places as I have not been in such a sad situation to feel  the depth what she is feeling. I have had  great sadness....but I know THIS much much deeper than that.   I am not someone use to a lot of attention and tend to draw into myself in times of great sadness. I just do not know her well enough to know what she wants a such a time as this.  

[Sooner]

I can tell  you what one of the best things someone did for us was to bring sandwich meats and breads and paper plates, napkins and disposable cups when my dad died.  On the day when relatives started coming they brought a cooler of ice and put it on the sun porch  

Those were life savers for us.

[cherry]

@SeaMaiden  you really don't have to do anything, but acknowledge her loss..It will show her you care

[santorini]

This is such a tragic event.  To do nothing would, in my opinion, be the wrong thing to do.  I would personally write out a card and bring it over and leave it on her door.  I would say something like "I happened to be in the kitchen (or wherever your window near their house is) and noticed the emergency vehicles at your house.  I'm not exactly sure what happened, but please let me know if there is anything I can do for you or your family.  I'm here if you need me."

[Kweenme]

Although my husband has not passed away, he has been having mega health problems ... so much time in hospitals including many weeks in intensive care. 

We we are not close to our neighbors ... so many new ones ... and we are elderly.  I can tell that the notes others have mentioned, a plate of food, coming home to a shoveled path ... any kindness is appreciated.  ❤️