Among Friends

[bricklee]

[Newgate]

I wish I could have been more aggressive.  It has been my biggest down fall in my life.   I stood back and said nothing at times when I should have spoke up!

But, that is something I could not do anything about because it is the personality that God gave me. 

I have still had a wonderful life.   There is a reason for everything!

[ScarletDove]

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@Lilysmom wrote:

Don’t mourn the fact you were not there at that moment.  The other times you were there are enough.  LM

@Lilysmom  Thank you for that, it touched a very sensitive memory!

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[sfnative]

While my husband changed his major 3 times, went 3/4 of the way through law school, which cost us a bundle, then dropped out (!!! -I was livid), then returned for an engineering degree - - - I was working at whatever, because I was unable to get a teaching job.  Can't discuss that here.  Ended up working for Wells Fargo Bank, eventually as "Northern California Service Systems Coordinator" for 2 years.  Husband's first job in Silicon Valley necessitated a move from SF to Cupertino, just down Miller Rd from Apple, so I had to say good-bye to Wells Fargo Bank on Front St, where the division I worked for was located. 

Four years later, I received a letter from the department I had left at the bank.  They were offering me an extremely plumb job as a "District Manager."  They hadn't forgotten my skills and desperately wanted to fill the slot with a woman.

I cannot begin to tell you how excited I was!  My husband?  These were his words:  "If you take that job, I'll divorce you."

I should have taken the job.  I've kicked myself a million times. 

[patbz]

There are very few things I regret but here are several:
Turned down a marriage proposal because I didn't think he'd amount to much (he retired as a criminal defense lawyer in LV).

Turned down a job in Livorno Italy (gal who to it stayed 9 yrs).

Turned down a job with CIA.

But the choices I made make me who I am. I have been married 35 years, have a son and two grandsons. We are comfortable and living happily in the mountains.

[Sapphiregal]

I should have RUN as fast as I could in the other direction after the first date with my now husband!!! Should have listened to that little voice in my head and ended it right there, but, I didn't. Won't even tell you how long I have stuck it out with him. 

[Chatyone 2]

I wish I had not let my parents keep me from my first love.. They did not care for him, yet he loved me the most.. it was perfect between us . My parents made us break up ,, and he enlisted in the Air Force.. we wrote to each other until even that made my parents mad . always yelling that I was like an old woman, just going to school going to church and writing to him.. It got so bad I stopped and broke up with him.. I dont think I have ever found a love like him ever I married , the wrong person .. it went 31 yrs and 3 children.. then he was cheating on me , he left . after five years I met a person I went to school with .. my mom was dying .. she was my best friend.. and once she died.. I started seeing him .. I knew it was a wrong pick for me .. I knew it . I have stayed with him for over 20 years and its not a good marriage ..not even a fair marriage. but where do I go at 72 ..So I have alot of regrets in my life .total regrets

[GingerPeach]

I would have been more daring, speaking up when I had the opportunity, and definitely eaten more salads.  I am doing the latter, so clearly I did learn something.  

[this is my nic]

@Chatyone 2 

Warning this is long!

I am so very sorry your parents kept you from your one true love. We are the same age, so I know how our parents ruled when we were young.  I am an only child and was very sheltered and not allowed to do things my friends enjoyed.  

My high school boyfriend broke up with me in January of my senior year in high school.  He was a sophomore in college, and, I'm sure found girls who weren't raised by parents like mine.  I was destroyed.  He didn't just break my heart, I was broken.  I really needed a therapist, but our  small town had none, and people just didn't seek help like today. I had always planned on going to college, but gave up on that because of my lack of confidence.  I attended cosmetology school which I hated.  After the first week of classes, I called my mother and told her how unhappy I was.  She told me to "stick it out", so I did,  hating every day. I never was able to work as a hairdresser because I wasn't very good.  

Fast forward a couple years.....

I had a couple casual boyfriends, but none like my high school sweetheart.   Then my best friend's Marine brother came home from Vietnam and we 3 started to go out together.  Eventually, he and I started dating exclusively.  One problem, my parents didn't approve of him and they didn't want me to date him.  He was going to start college in another state a couple months after we started dating.  Like your parents, I got the "treatment" , basically their  comments were that I had no ambition.  

My boyfriend and I started talking about his going off to college and having me go with him.   He didn't exactly propose, but he knew I would go only if we were married. Since I wasn't supposed to be dating him I couldn't ask my parents for approval. We eloped and my parents disowned me.  They told me to pack my bags and never come back.  I obeyed them, I left and since we were going to a state nearly 1,000 miles away there was no chance of running into them.  

I immediately was employed at the college my husband attended.  Shortly after landing the job, I became pregnant and had to quit working right before the baby was born. We had no one to care for our baby.  Day care centers didn't exist.  During his 3 years in school, he worked part time, I did some babysitting and we had 2 babies!  He got his degree in electrical engineering with honors! 

Fast forward again, we have 3 children and will celebrate our 54th anniversary in Dec! 

Sorry this is so long!  I just wanted you to know I totally understand your situation.  I don't know how I was able to break free from my parents because the level of control was complete. 

We never know what life has in store for us!  Don't give up!