What Goes Beyond Reaching Your Stress Level? - Page 3

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

@rms1954 ...I am no expert, the debit card is just your checking account just using a card instead of checks...if it is compromised you are out the money. With credit card charges (unauthorized) the credit card company does not make you pay it off...that is what I THINK, not sure.

We use our card for a lot of things each month, and then pay it off in full each month when due.

rms1954 · ‎06-06-2019

@Mom2Dogs wrote:
@rms1954 ...I am no expert, the debit card is just your checking account just using a card instead of checks...if it is compromised you are out the money. With credit card charges (unauthorized) the credit card company does not make you pay it off...that is what I THINK, not sure.

We use our card for a lot of things each month, and then pay it off in full each month when due.

You're right -- it is connected to my checking. But the last time it happened the charges went through. It was Uber charges. I called and filled out paperwork and they removed the charge and there was no fee. This time they caught the charge beforehand and was able to stop it.

1Snickers · ‎03-19-2016

@rms1954 My husband had a heart attack and bipasses years ago. He became very annoyed at small things and hard to live with. It was hard to please him.
I've learned that after heart attacks this sometimes happens. I had a talk with my husband and told him to STOP. He knew I meant it and things were better.
As others have said, a credit card is better, and free to replace. I got my first one in my name and paid it off monthly.
When he asked why I got a card I told him it was so he wouldn't complain. He didn't.
Take care and breathe deeply and rest awhile!

jeanlake · ‎03-10-2010

Have you talked to your bank about the best use of a debit card? Banker advised me not to use at gas pump - use credit card or Spend card which are NOT tied to your bank accounts. Don't use at restaurants -- transient servers swipe and sell your information (of course, not all servers). Careful using debit card when you travel or on online sights you aren't familiar with. It is frustrating to have your finances tampered with. I'm sorry.

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau

happycat · ‎09-18-2010

@rms1954, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this and your husband handled it the way he did. He shouldn't have yelled at you like that. You did nothing wrong.

My mom and dad had a credit card. Someone charged over 600.00 on this card playing an Xbox, all in one day! My parents do not have an Xbox. Their children and grandchildren do not have an Xbox. Nobody has a dang Xbox. I have gone with daddy to the police twice, the sherrifs office once, drove over an hour and a half one way to go to a different police station, because of the first cop telling us we needed to do police report in the city where this person was showing to live. We have also been to the bank who issued the card, have called this banks fraud office over and over and they just argued, insisting it was one of us who played the game that none of us have! I feel like we have been chasing rabbits the whole time. Momma is 77 and daddy is 83.

Yes, this dealing with fraudulent charges is too much.

They paid the credit card off and none of us are ever dealing with that bank again. Today, mom got a call from the bank saying they were going to dismiss the charges, they have decided they are fraudulent. Dummies.

I hope things get better with you. You husband needs to cut you some slack. You didn't have that coming. Its stressful enough having to deal with people hacking into our money, without our husbands being jerks.

happycat · ‎09-18-2010

Bty, we have a savings account and somehow, someone was able to breach it, and we had a charge from Lowe's Home improbement. It said "Lowe's Epay" We don't have a Lowe's card. Ended up that it showed on the banks end as a wal mart charge, it was odd, bank lady could tell it was fraud first time few minutes of looking. So, this can happen with checking accounts and savings also, unfortunately.

FancyPhillyshopper · ‎05-02-2017

I am so sorry that you had a miserable day. Sometimes life is just like that, no matter how much we plan.

Tomorrow will always be better...

Your husband is probably overwhelmed with his illness, his travel distance from you, his annoyance with the charge, and so forth. That is not an excuse for being rude or unkind to you, but after many years together we sometimes take our spouses for granted. Remind him you had nothing to do with the problem and you expect respect. Tell him he owes you some flowers or dinner out as an apology.

Regarding the card breach, no one is safe nowadays! Hackers are geniuses and can get through more ways than we can imagine. Sometimes it is just a game to see how much they can access. No need to really let it get to you so personally. However, you may want to find a new bank that is more accommodating.

You have two weeks for him to miss you, two weeks to have control of the bathroom, television, bed, and so forth. Relax, do special things for yourself, take a bubble bath, shop a little, plan some future travel, think about the holidays.

Life is too short for us to not live to the fullest.

rms1954 · ‎06-06-2019

I really wish they would put more effort into finding these people and start punishing them. All I get from the bank and the fraud people is "sorry this happened, BUT unfortunately there's nothing we can do.

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Snowpuppy · ‎03-09-2010

Reading Forbes, it's up to your bank if they make you pay that first $50 for fraud charges on a debit card. That, along with a $36 fee is ridiculous. Find a better bank or credit union.

My debit card was hacked twice. Got it replaced in 2 days via FedEx at no charge to me.

My Citi cc will allow me to generate a 1 time account # for online transactions. It's a one time use. Not all Citi cards do this so ladies, if you have Citi, check for this feature.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Would a big hug help? I'm sending you one.

When you have a yeller and screamer blowing their big mouths off, leave the room! Do not stand there and take it. He can stand in front of a mirror if he needs to carry on and have someone to talk to. You have had enough stress. Tell him you'll speak to him when he is ready to speak in a normal voice. Walk away. If you're going to have to handle it anyway, since he can't, don't take that abuse! (I know about what you are speaking about.)

Tending to all that is a nusance, but once they take care of it, you can move on. Something else, no doubt, will be next in line to be upsetting, but it is life and it's a roller coaster ride to say the least.

You need to tend to your mental and physical health too. @rms1954