Among Friends

[shoptilyadropagain]

I've seen it done several ways.  My great niece's wedding was an outdoor wedding and the ceremony took place under an arch.  Leaning up  against one pole of the arch was a large frame.  In the middle of it were words like...we know you would be here today if heaven weren't so far away.  Directly above and below that saying were pictures of grandparents and great grandparents.

[CAcableGirl2]

@JeanLouiseFinch  Perhaps a table with some photos of the ones that have passed, along with some wedding photos of the parents of the bride and groom, and maybe some pictures of the bride and groom when they were children.  Although it might be a little sad for those that have passed, it would bring joy to see some of the old pictures of others in the family.  

[msgb]

When I got married, my grandmother and my husband's grandfather had recently passed. I was especially close with my grandmother as was my husband and his grandfather was an important person in his life. We wanted to have something that reminded us--because it was our wedding--of these two people. We had a song at the end of the ceremony that was for my grandmother and then at the reception it was for my husband's grandfather. In the program it was mentioned that these songs would be played and that they were in rememberance of these people.

[qbetzforreal]

As part of the ceremony, my cousin and his bride read off the names of loved ones who had departed.

[Shanus]

@JeanLouiseFinch   This is tough since a wedding is a happy occasion and you don't want to put too much emphasis on those who have passed. 

If the arbor is decorated, maybe a flower attached w/ a small name tag of the deceased relative would be appropriate. I have seen this done at weddings and it is a way to recognize/honor the person w/o taking attention away from the happy couple.

[ThinkingOutLoud]

To keep it light - a table with pictures of wedding photos of parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, etc (including more than just 1 or 2 people acknowledges the deceased without putting too much focus on it and it keeps the happy wedding theme). Maybe include a framed print saying something like "without them, we wouldn't be here - so grateful" or "all are invited and all are here" (this is less sad and more true than the 'heaven is far away' one).

I've also been to a wedding event where the bride briefly acknowledged her late grandma. All that were there understood the relationship and the appropriateness of what was said.

[stevieb]

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@LindaSal wrote:

I think a mention at the ceremony or celebration is more than enough.  It can borderline on sadness at what should be a happy occasion.   My mom had passed a couple of months before my niece's wedding.  My niece mentioned her at the reception and we had a champagne toast to "Memere".   That was perfectly appropriate as we of course were still in mourning.  I think if you go overboard it can actually take away from the special day, JMO. 

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@LindaSal  I absolutely agree with you. A mention during the service or a toast at the reception makes sense. The special candle lit in remembrance is a nice idea too. To me, empty seats, tables set aside with pictures and so on just seems somewhat funeral and just a bit dramatic. It is a wedding afterall, not a wake.

[Kachina624]

Have the officiant mention at the start of the ceremony that "sadly ****** and Jane aren't with us and are sorely missed but greatly loved", blah, blah.

I think that's sufficient and the sorrow doesn't linger as some of the other suggestions might.  It said and then the day moves on, as it should.

[Laura14]

Catholic ceremonies have a unity candle in which the bride and groom each take a smaller candle and then light the third larger unity candle to show they are now one and the families are blended.

My sister also included the deceased family members on both sides in this part as well by mention that those with us and those who cannot be are blessing the union along with the bride and groom.

They also have a part of the Catholic mass where the bride is escorted by the groom to a figure of the Mother Mary to pray and bless the marriage. I have seen prayer included for deceased loved ones here as well. Ave Maria is usually the song choice for this part which also is in many Catholic funerals.

I have many times seen deceased loved ones represented by a candle at the altar all on its own. 

Honestly it can be done acoording to however the families believe is appropriate. Everyone has their own traditions and comfort level.   

[sophiesofers]

@JeanLouiseFinch     My son and daughter in law were married last summer. It was an outside wedding at a yacht club and in the first row of chairs, they had placed a note on one of the chairs that said "this seat is reserved for (brides mom name) who is our guest watching from heaven."   She also carried on her bouquet small charms that had her moms picture in them.  They also had a remembrance table inside at the reception with photos of  family and friends who had passed.  It was really very beautiful and sentimental.