We All Have Silly Habits ...

rms1954 · ‎06-06-2019

Right? Little idiosyncrasies that make us different, unique, just who we are. I get that some things bother us about our partners more than others. But since my husband has been working from home it's unbearable. I can't go throughout my day without him getting on my back over every single little thing I do. If I'm working on something tedious, he's there watching over my shoulder (and I mean right over my shoulder -- I can feel him breathing on my neck) trying to put his hands into what I'm trying to do so he can take over. I can't take it anymore. I can't even tell you how I feel when he upsets me because I would sound like a horrible person.

Here's one example of things I have to deal with several times a day. I bought a new set of towels and I don't like leaving the tags on. So I was trying to cut them off and my scissors were not working well. I asked him if I could use a pair of a set of precision scissors he has. Here's how it goes:

Him: "Why, what do you have to cut."

Me: A tag.

Him: A tag where?

Me: New towels.

Him: Why do you have to cut tags off towels?

Me: Because I do.

Him: That's stupid, who does that. You're weird ... makes no sense.

Me: Never mind.

Him: I don't know where they are.

Me: That's OK. No worries.

Him: No, wait. I'll go look.

Me: No, no. I thought you would know where they were.

Him: Well everything got moved around when we were taking stuff from the kitchen.

(We just renovated and had to move everything out of the kitchen; however, his tools are not kept in the kitchen. This is where he blames me for not being able to find his things.)

Me: They never were in the kitchen so .....

Him: (YELLING) I didn't say there were in the kitchen. Don't put words in my mouth.

And it just went downhill from there. Way downhill. Calling me idiotic because he knows of no one that takes tags off. For 20 minutes he belittled me.

I just had to let it out. I'm trying to calm down because my stress level went sky high. Heart pounding, sweating, hyperventilating. I may end up homeless and on the street if I have to.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

I know what you mean, they are just going stir crazy.

Will he do a "to do" list if you give him one?

Try to talk to him and tell him what you're feeling.....they have no clue.

That's just my 2 cents. Till this Stay at home isn't going on, it's going to be trying on many levels for many of us.

Travone · ‎10-14-2016

How does he have time to follow you around if he is SUPPOSED to be working from home?

kittyloo · ‎03-11-2010

@rms1954 i feel for you. i have my own "issues" with my husband as well. in his mind he is NEVER wrong. won't listen to my opinion, and loves to argue. not debate, because that would involve listening to the other side, and he wont do that unless forced. me on the other hand, hates to argue, (although i'm learning). he is also a very loud person. just the tip of the iceburg.

FlowerBear · ‎03-24-2018

I am sorry you have to deal with this! I am one that cuts the tags off of new towels, wash cloths, dish towels and dish cloths.

alicedee · ‎07-25-2010

@rms1954 I'm sorry you have to live in a situation where you are put down like that. You don't deserve it.

Janey2 · ‎06-07-2010

This might not be a popular response, but there is no way he would be allowed to talk to me like that. I would come back at him, and let him have it. What makes him so almighty? My answer probably won't solve your problem. I know shouting never does, but you might feel better.

rms1954 · ‎06-06-2019

@kittyloo wrote:
@rms1954 i feel for you. i have my own "issues" with my husband as well. in his mind he is NEVER wrong. won't listen to my opinion, and loves to argue. not debate, because that would involve listening to the other side, and he wont do that unless forced. me on the other hand, hates to argue, (although i'm learning). he is also a very loud person. just the tip of the iceburg.

Sounds very, very familiar. We need to stick together. Supporting each other helps. We get each other.

Tessa Mendoza · ‎01-27-2020

I don't think cutting tags off new towels is a silly habit. I do it all the time.

I think all this togetherness is not helping too many relationships. Your husband is probably feeling stressed out and bored. Not an excuse to treat your harshly, but could be part of the reason.

I'm sorry you are living in such a volatile situation. I would be jumping out of my skin, too.

Hopefully, we will all be "set free" and be able to resume somewhat normal lives sooner than later. Try holding onto the thought that living this way will not be forever.

mspatmac · ‎06-10-2015

So many are struggling during this time with relationships. I am so sorry for what you are going through. May I suggest you remove yourself when he starts, to another room, outside, even to the bathroom. A bully needs a reaction so distance yourself without comment. Find something to do in another room. Maybe he'll tire of talking to himself. You're not being weak but smart. A screaming match causes more problems then it solves. Write you're feelings down to vent or continue to get support here. You are not alone in you're feelings @rms1954