Among Friends

[dooBdoo]

              We each have our own challenges, imperfections, flaws and scars.   There's an ancient Japanese art called ​Kintsugi (or Kintsukuroi) which involves mending broken pottery with precious, gleaming, lustrous, and beautiful gold, silver, or platinum.   

              This comes from the philosophy of "wabi-sabi," seeing the beauty and magnificence in what others might call flawed or imperfect.   

              It's human to desire compassion, understanding, to want be heard and to have our concerns acknowledged.   It's also important to remember that many of us don't talk about our personal life, don't share the details of our challenges or anguish, so we can't presume or assume that we know everyone’s complete story.    

              In my life I've come to accept that there's a delicate balance...   we need to allow ourselves occasionally to give voice to our feelings, to ask for that compassion and understanding, yet we also find balance in offering that same compassion and understanding to others and in finding and expressing gratitude every single day for even the simplest gifts.

              This glitchy website is making it hard to add hearts to posts, but I want to express my gratitude today for all of you who have shared your stories and your wisdom here and also in other discussions.   You touch my heart, my soul...   profoundly.   ​

               My hope is that each of you will see and appreciate your unique beauty, the remarkable and singular brilliance, radiance and luster of your spirit and indispensable place in the world.❤️

[Greeneyedlady21]

Empathy is more than sorely lacking these days. My life for the last four years was and continues to be wishing people could walk in my shoes. People can be so cruel and judgmental.

I've always been an empathetic person, so lack of empathy in others is always frustrating and offensive to me.

[Sooner]

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@ccassaday wrote:

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@Sooner wrote:

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@ccassaday wrote:
Has anyone who is disabled ever felt that nobody understands how that disability effects you everyday. How a autoimmune disease can effect your mood to how much it can make your joints hurt to making you tired. Do you ever wish that people could just walk in your shoes for a couple of days to see how debilitating it can be.

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@ccassaday. Do you feel the need to walk in the shoes of someone who has lost all their family, doesn't have water, lives on the street, is blind etc. etc.?  I really don't understand this question.  

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I think you missed the point.

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@ccassaday. I don't know what your point was I guess.  My point is that everybody has things that limit them, pain them, and give us discomfort and misery, whether physical, psychological or otherwise.  And everyone is different.

Empathy is something people have or they don't.  And none of us understand someone else's walk through life. And you can't judge from your own perspective who has it "worse" but you can always try to imagine how it might impact their life and have sympathy for them.  

Edited:  something weird popped up for the word "guess" above then we had cable trouble and I couldn't edit it.  I'm sure you wondered what on earth that was about!  Sorry but maybe someone had a laugh.

[RedTop]

I’ve spent the last 18 years people watching at the local VA facility.   As my husbands disability has progressed, my thoughts go back to how we started out, and where we are now.   I am often brought to tears by the obvious disabilities of many of these veterans, as I think what their lives must be like.     

We went from parking at the back of the lot, to using handicapped spaces and valet parking.   I do all the driving now and let my husband out at the entrance.   For appts where I don’t need to go in, I watch car after car of wives driving to the front, getting walkers and wheelchairs for their husbands, helping him get in the building, then parking the car.   After years of watching this done by others, my husband and I are now in that group.   

As my husband copes with a horrible pressure ulcer on his foot, I know the possibilities of what’s ahead, and just how much things can change for him, and ultimately us.   It breaks my heart to see what’s happening to my husband, and how little by little he’s losing the ability to live the active life he’s always known.   In our case, my husband sees that even tho he can’t do, things are still getting done here.   

@ccassaday, I hope having those closest to you recognize what you are dealing with, and pick up on your good days and bad days, gives the reassurance you need to keep your head up, and staying aware that they do care.    

[halfpint1]

I don't know if I have arthritis in my hands. I push a cart for 2 hours on my walk and they are hurting and fingers are getting numb at times. A couple years ago I had arthritis in my back and a doctor said she took it out-how and what I don't know exactly. When I was about 5 my eye was operated for it was crossed. It made me scared of trying things. I was too scared to skate, ride a bike- learn new things. I can't make out things. I can hardly see out of it and at 81 it is shut down meaning eye is shut at times. Yes you never know the other person what they are really like. Did someone really care or feel sorry for me.

[SouthernBee]

@RedTop: Very well stated and sad but true for so many of us. My precious DH is retired military and dealing with multiple health issues. I have multiple health issues and the doctor told me to stop driving over 10 years ago. DH just released to start driving again , but told no night driving. We arrange morning appointments and try to do any errands and return home before the lunch and school traffic. We are determined to stay, positive, thankful and Blessed for what we’re still able to do. My thoughts and prayers for you and your DH. Southern Bee 

[dex]

@ccassaday@I am hoping by now that you had your procedure and everything went well.I am sure that you are feeling relief to have that behind you and the worries gone.I hope you will post and let us know how you are doing.

[Mistic]

@dooBdoo ~

"Beautifully Said"  

[hayseed00]

@gmkb  I agree with you.  I have RA and am not able to do many of the activities that I use to do, but every day I wake up and get to see the sun rise is a blessing.