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Valued Contributor
Posts: 648
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: Very Worried About a Friend

Back off lady. His wife knew he was coming home and you sound obssessed. There's more to this story than meets the eye. I wouldn't want my husband having such a "friend". His friends would not be afraid to call me to inquire about his health.

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,565
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Very Worried About a Friend

Exactly what kind of "friend" is this? After reading your OP it sounds as if you are more than "friends". Your saying you can't call because he is married kind of says it all.

 

He has a wife - she will take care of him. And calling hospitals? A little extreme don't you think?

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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,409
Registered: ‎03-21-2010

Re: Very Worried About a Friend

There is no physical relationship.  He's not my lover.   We have a close bond but I am not sure if his wife knows about me.  

 

It's an emotional affair of the heart if I have to define it.   He talks about his wife all the time, sometimes in a good way, sometimes complaining.  

 

I know his wife will care for him.   I just want to know he's okay.   I care a great deal for him so sue me.

 

 

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Super Contributor
Posts: 450
Registered: ‎11-21-2010

Re: Very Worried About a Friend

You are too involved with this married man.  I suggest you find an available man to shower with your concern. 

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,214
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

Re: Very Worried About a Friend

You are way too invested in this married man. You are an adult and you can do whatever you wish, but this is a going nowhere relationship. 

 

No one gets this wound up about 'just a friend' when one knows they have someone at home who knows they are ill, and someone there to make sure everything is being done that needs to be.

 

He is either not feeling well enough to respond, or he is avoiding you because you are being inappropriate or too clingy. 

 

And you are having an affair with this man. It might not be physical, but it is an affair nonetheless. Be prepared for what the consequences of that might be. Everything from loosing your job (or at least making the job difficult or uncomfortable should the relationship sour), to the wrath of his wife, to being dumped because he is a player. 

 

I agree with the others that suggest you back off. Having a relationship like this rarely turns out well, and just know if he is at some level invested in you emotionally, he will be in someone else at some point in time again, and how will you handle that? 

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,074
Registered: ‎10-25-2010

Re: Very Worried About a Friend

[ Edited ]

@TennisBuf the emotional affair you are  having with him is way worse than a physical affair.

 

If he feels the same about you, then he is cheating in the worst way.  I am not going to lecture you, but you are probably wasting your time with him when you could be having a relationship with someone you don't have to share.

 

**** I wanted to add that if you are e-mailing at work, your e-mail is not confidential even if you are using Google instead of your employers e-mail program.  Evrery stroke on that keyboard can be recovered.  

 

And this is a new job for you.  You could end up unemployed.  Tread carefully.

 

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,198
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Hmmmm. Sounds a little hinky.

Now,don't tell me I've nothin' to do.
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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,475
Registered: ‎03-14-2015

Re: Very Worried About a Friend


@Hot Street wrote:

There is no physical relationship.  He's not my lover.   We have a close bond but I am not sure if his wife knows about me.  

 

It's an emotional affair of the heart if I have to define it.   He talks about his wife all the time, sometimes in a good way, sometimes complaining.  

 

I know his wife will care for him.   I just want to know he's okay.   I care a great deal for him so sue me.

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

You are his mistress!!! You two may not be having sex (yet), but is still an affair of the heart.

 

 

 

He will NEVER leave his wife!

 

 

Let me repeat that one more time.

 

 

 

He will NEVER leave his wife.

 

 

 

Yes, it is an affair if his wife does not know about you, and you are afraid of her finding out about you.

 

And trust me, the wife WILL find out about you sooner or later. Wives aren't stupid.

 

 

Husbands who cheat on their wives, whether they cheat physically, or emotionally, will tell you any story that YOU want to hear, in order to garner them sympathy.

 

 

Bottom line, you are WAY to involved in what sounds like him just having a simple stomach bug.

 

 

You are too clingy and needy and desperate.

 

 

 

You need to back the **** off from this married man.

 

 

His welfare is NONE of your concern.

 

None.

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,592
Registered: ‎03-27-2010

Re: Very Worried About a Friend

Hot Street....you sound defensive.  Your post suggests obsession with this "friend".  I wasn't going to post because I think it might be really challenging for you to see this situation clearly.  If you were a good friend, I would tell you to take a small vacation (both metaphorically and literally) from this relationship.  Go take a walk in a beautiful natural setting and separate yourself from this situation, immerse your day in actions that do not involve this man.  He is married and you are too concerned about his life.  Do things that bring you joy.  I wish you peace and the ability to move in a new direction.

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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,863
Registered: ‎12-05-2012

Re: Very Worried About a Friend

Please OP understand that if he is willing to correspond with you in this deceitful manner that you are probably one of several other women he is stringing along 'in his life'. 

 

Don't you want a real relationship with an honest man?