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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,409
Registered: ‎03-21-2010

Very Worried About a Friend

A friend of mine went home ill from work today and I've been e-mailing him to make sure he's okay, but he hasn't answered.   That's not like him.

 

I can't call or text because he's married and I don't want to disturb him when he's at home.  We do e-mail each other after work and it's not like him to not even just let me know he's ok.

 

I am worried that something might be really wrong.  I called the hospitals in the area to see if he was admitted, but he was not.

 

When he left work, he told me he had spoken to his wife and she knew he was coming home.   Then he said he hoped he could drive home. At that point, I would have thought he'd ask his wife to come and get him if it was that bad.   I didn't offer to take him home because I am an hourly employee and can't just leave like that, I'd have to get permission to take lunch early. He lives about 30 min away.   I am worried that he's mad that I didn't offer.   He said he had an upset stomach, it wasn't like he was incapacitated.  I would have never let him drive if he was overly weak, etc.

 

I'm just beside myself tonight.   I don't know if he's dead or alive.  I won't be at work in the morning as I have to go to a class at a different location.  I won't know anything most of the day.

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,143
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Very Worried About a Friend

Maybe his wife took him to the emergency ward. ??

She is his nurse now. He could have gone there on his own, plus, I don't think that a hospital would give you that info over the phone, unless you are family? Maybe not even then. I don't know. 

 

Call him at home if you are that worried. Some men don't mention it to the wife.  But not so sure that's a great idea, if you don't know his wife. He might not even like that. 

 

 

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,007
Registered: ‎03-20-2010

Re: Very Worried About a Friend

What an odd situation, why not call his house and ask his wife how he is doing if you are concerned.  Probably went home and went to bed, checking my email would be the last thing I would do if I don't feel well.  

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,673
Registered: ‎06-25-2012

Re: Very Worried About a Friend

OP, step back and let his wife take care of him!!

"Pure Michigan"
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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,585
Registered: ‎06-10-2010

Re: Very Worried About a Friend

Why don't you call his wife?  She would be the first one to know if something was wrong.  You said, "I can't call or text because he is married".  Why not?  If everything is on the up and up and you are just friends, you have nothing to worry about. 

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 12,503
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Very Worried About a Friend

I doubt very seriously that he's mad at you for not offering to take him home.  I think you should try not to worry about this and let his wife take care of him.  I wouldn't call him, and I wouldn't e-mail him again.  If I were sick I wouldn't be checking my e-mails.  His wife knew he was on his way home, and I'll bet everything is fine.

My little dog, a heartbeat at my feet. —Edith Wharton
Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.--Colette





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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,196
Registered: ‎08-15-2014

Re: Very Worried About a Friend

[ Edited ]

 

What concerns me about you is the sentence you said, "I can't call or text because he's married and I don't want to disturb him when he's at home.  We do e-mail each other after work and it's not like him to not even just let me know he's ok."

 

He's married.  It's not your business to be checking up on him, unless of course you know his wife personally and can call her.  But from the sound of it, you can't.

 

So my question to you is....what exactly are the two of you hiding from his wife?

 

 

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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,908
Registered: ‎03-28-2015

Re: Very Worried About a Friend

Maybe his stomach was upset because his wife found your "after work emails"....

 

Sounds like more than a friend to me

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,178
Registered: ‎09-02-2010

I'd call if there's nothing but friendship going on.   I wouldn't think twice if a woman called in that kind of situation.

~~
*Off The Deep End~A very short trip for some!*
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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,475
Registered: ‎03-14-2015

Re: Very Worried About a Friend

[ Edited ]

Calling hospitals?

 

 

 

That sounds way too intrusive.

 

 

Besides, because of HIPAA, hospitals canNOT give you that information, even if he were in the hospital, because you are NOT family, and he has not authorized the hospital to release that information to you.

 

 

 

You can't call or text because he's married?

 

 

If everything is on the up and up, and the wife knows that he and you are just platonic work friends, then she would have no problem with you calling to ask how he is.

 

 

 

The fact that you can't leads us to think that you just might be this married guys mistress.