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Valued Contributor
Posts: 877
Registered: ‎03-31-2010

Hi all

I posted a couple weeks back about my sisters Edna and Peggy coming to town and how they were being snotty and mean.  I have since found out, that they asked our sis in law to lie and tell me they weren't going to be here til sat.  She said no because she was afraid I'd find out and then be mad at her.  So I called Edna (the one I have been close to) and asked why they were doing this.  She came at me with both barrels.  Said she & Peggy found a lock box with checks of our parents, and that they had given me $44,000.00. Told her they did help me now and then when I had some surgeries since I only had so much vacation and when that was up, I didn't have an income.  I have no idea where this amount came from. It wasn't so much what Edna said, it was the mean, evil and pure hate in her voice.She told me that I am not taking care of our father and that our sis in law told her I never go see him.  I guess I don't tell her every time I do go, just like I don't tell her every time I take my dog for a walk.   Peggy has Edna both manipulated and brain washed and has now torn our family apart,  They have even got my sis in law and her sister mad at me.  I have always had a desire to move to Wisconsin or that area and am seriously considering it now, as I am just so very lonely and couldn't be any more lonely if I move but it would be a change of scenery and a new start.

I also texted Peggy and asked ""Where did this lock box come from and how long did you have it?" She texted back "I don't know what you're talking about" But I found out they took it to the lady who handles my dad's account.  I never got to see the checks.  Don't know if they are trying to do something to me because of it, or what the deal is.

Thanks for letting me vent

cookin

Super Contributor
Posts: 416
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@cookinfreak wrote:

Hi all

I posted a couple weeks back about my sisters Edna and Peggy coming to town and how they were being snotty and mean.  I have since found out, that they asked our sis in law to lie and tell me they weren't going to be here til sat.  She said no because she was afraid I'd find out and then be mad at her.  So I called Edna (the one I have been close to) and asked why they were doing this.  She came at me with both barrels.  Said she & Peggy found a lock box with checks of our parents, and that they had given me $44,000.00. Told her they did help me now and then when I had some surgeries since I only had so much vacation and when that was up, I didn't have an income.  I have no idea where this amount came from. It wasn't so much what Edna said, it was the mean, evil and pure hate in her voice.She told me that I am not taking care of our father and that our sis in law told her I never go see him.  I guess I don't tell her every time I do go, just like I don't tell her every time I take my dog for a walk.   Peggy has Edna both manipulated and brain washed and has now torn our family apart,  They have even got my sis in law and her sister mad at me.  I have always had a desire to move to Wisconsin or that area and am seriously considering it now, as I am just so very lonely and couldn't be any more lonely if I move but it would be a change of scenery and a new start.

I also texted Peggy and asked ""Where did this lock box come from and how long did you have it?" She texted back "I don't know what you're talking about" But I found out they took it to the lady who handles my dad's account.  I never got to see the checks.  Don't know if they are trying to do something to me because of it, or what the deal is.

Thanks for letting me vent

cookin


 

Super Contributor
Posts: 416
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

@cookinfreak wrote:

Hi all

I posted a couple weeks back about my sisters Edna and Peggy coming to town and how they were being snotty and mean.  I have since found out, that they asked our sis in law to lie and tell me they weren't going to be here til sat.  She said no because she was afraid I'd find out and then be mad at her.  So I called Edna (the one I have been close to) and asked why they were doing this.  She came at me with both barrels.  Said she & Peggy found a lock box with checks of our parents, and that they had given me $44,000.00. Told her they did help me now and then when I had some surgeries since I only had so much vacation and when that was up, I didn't have an income.  I have no idea where this amount came from. It wasn't so much what Edna said, it was the mean, evil and pure hate in her voice.She told me that I am not taking care of our father and that our sis in law told her I never go see him.  I guess I don't tell her every time I do go, just like I don't tell her every time I take my dog for a walk.   Peggy has Edna both manipulated and brain washed and has now torn our family apart,  They have even got my sis in law and her sister mad at me.  I have always had a desire to move to Wisconsin or that area and am seriously considering it now, as I am just so very lonely and couldn't be any more lonely if I move but it would be a change of scenery and a new start.

I also texted Peggy and asked ""Where did this lock box come from and how long did you have it?" She texted back "I don't know what you're talking about" But I found out they took it to the lady who handles my dad's account.  I never got to see the checks.  Don't know if they are trying to do something to me because of it, or what the deal is.

Thanks for letting me vent

cookin


Just curious, are you your dad's trustee/executor?

Honored Contributor
Posts: 40,093
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

 


Oh wow, cookin, at least you know where the hostility is coming from.   I'm sure, since it was your parent's money, they felt they didn't need to explain to Peggy and Edna how they spent it.  For all you know, your parents might have floated some money to Peggy and Edna in their lifetime.  Money does strange things to people.  I can relate to the hurt you feel having your sisters turn on you.  Once the damage is done, you can't go back either.  It's like you're seeing them clearly for the first time, when you thought you knew them.

 

 

 

 

There are many elements: wind, fire, water
But none quite like the element of surprise
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 3,874
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Update on my sisters

[ Edited ]

If I understand your post correctly, your sisters found a lockbox containing records showing that your parents have given you a large amount of money over the years.  Apparently they're unhappy about this, especially since they don't feel you've done your part to look after your parents.

 

Since I don't know you, your sisters, your parents, or anything about the situation, I have no comment except that I hope your parents have a good attorney and a will.  And I hope someone competent is watching over their affairs now to protect their interests and to be sure they aren't financially manipulated by anyone.

 

 

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,710
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

My Mom was unable to financially help any of her children since after we all grew up, we were all better off financially than her.  But having said that, if she HAD been able to help and I found out she helped one child more than the others, I think it would upset me as well.

 

I'm not pretending to know the whole situation with the OP, but just saying for MY part, I would be hurt over that.  The squeaky wheel gets the grease, so perhaps OP's parents saw that she needed more help than the others.  Again, all this is just my opinion, and I don't know all the details.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 3,874
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Update on my sisters

[ Edited ]

suzieq4 wrote:

My Mom was unable to financially help any of her children since after we all grew up, we were all better off financially than her.  But having said that, if she HAD been able to help and I found out she helped one child more than the others, I think it would upset me as well.

 

I'm not pretending to know the whole situation with the OP, but just saying for MY part, I would be hurt over that.  The squeaky wheel gets the grease, so perhaps OP's parents saw that she needed more help than the others.  Again, all this is just my opinion, and I don't know all the details.

 

 

My mom passed away a few years ago.  During her late years after my Dad died, she tried to help one of my brothers who went through a divorce and a disastrous business failure.  She loaned him a large amount of money to help him start his business and then more trying to bail him out when the business got into trouble.  He was never able to repay and is still struggling personally and financially.  He probably always will.  

 

I think it was unwise to loan my brother this money.......but my mother was of sound mind at the time, and it was her money and her decision.  When she died, her remaining assets were divided equally among her children, including the brother with the unpaid debts. It was in her will that his debt should be forgiven at  her passing.  That was what she wanted.  He was the only one of her kids with serious financial difficulties, and she loved him and wanted to help.  That caring heart was part of what made her who she was.  None of us contested her will, and none of us holds resentment.  It was Mom's money to spend as she chose, and we honored her decision.


 

Valued Contributor
Posts: 877
Registered: ‎03-31-2010

1jenny

I am not the executor.  My parents appointed that to my brother and he passed away, and then they had the bank next in line.

My mom has been gone for 12 yrs and my dad is in a long term care facility.

Peggy told me that some of the checks were for my cell phone.  I didn't have a cell phone when my mom was alive and only got one a few years after she passed because my dad developed dementia and I needed it in case of an emergency.

Peggy has always tried to put the blame elsewhere as she took many things from our parents that they didn't know about and I called her on it, so she needed someone else to be gulty of something I guess.

We first our moved our dad into an apartment, all of us kids chose things that meant something to us, and moved the rest with dad.

My brother commited suicide and not long after, Peggy called his wife and told her to give the items back.  She said "No-those are for your brothers kids."

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 3,874
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

cookinfreak wrote:

1jenny

I am not the executor.  My parents appointed that to my brother and he passed away, and then they had the bank next in line.

My mom has been gone for 12 yrs and my dad is in a long term care facility.

Peggy told me that some of the checks were for my cell phone.  I didn't have a cell phone when my mom was alive and only got one a few years after she passed because my dad developed dementia and I needed it in case of an emergency.

Peggy has always tried to put the blame elsewhere as she took many things from our parents that they didn't know about and I called her on it, so she needed someone else to be gulty of something I guess.

We first our moved our dad into an apartment, all of us kids chose things that meant something to us, and moved the rest with dad.

My brother commited suicide and not long after, Peggy called his wife and told her to give the items back.  She said "No-those are for your brothers kids."


 

I'd say your parents were smart to appoint a bank as their executor.  Doesn't sound like any of their kids are up to the task.  Sad for all of you........and for your parents.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 40,093
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

cookin, again I am sorry that the situation has come to this.  My parents helped my two sisters financially and it never bothered me because it wasn't my money to spend.  When Dad died, I knew my Dad made provisions for my Mom. I can honestly say that I wasn't interested in the money aspect.  It was none of my business.  Mind you, it kind of irked my eldest sister that Dad's business wasn't made public amongst the three of us.  I didn't know then and never asked after, not even after Mom died.  If either of them wanted me to know, they would have told me. :-)

 

 

There are many elements: wind, fire, water
But none quite like the element of surprise