Among Friends

[Sage04]

Did the visitors ask to spend the night? Stop assuming. I spent my first 19 years in the

Caribbean and never knew a stranger. Every one was always welcomed.

Nothing has changed for us living here for years.

[manhattan1950]

I live in a gated community with a 24 hour security guard, NO one gets in who is NOT on my list of visitors.

[J Town Girl]

I would like to thank each and everyone of you who took the time to respond to my post.

You've all made me feel better about not just inviting them into our home.   As a few of you have mentioned, it might be a cultural thing and in the country where they grew up inviting someone into your home is considered the norm.  

I read many of the replies to my husband and he agreed with many of you who said they could have left a message with a return phone number and we could have met up with them at a restaurant.   

I really appreciate that no one made me feel guilty about being leery of complete strangers.

A few years ago I was mugged by two teen-age boys in a grocery store parking lot while I was returning to my car.  They knocked me to the ground and stole my purse.  That unfortunate episode has made me cautious and I'm much more aware that you need to look out for yourself.

[J Town Girl]

---

@occasionalrain wrote:

What makes me suspicious is that they didn't leave a message with a number to call them back. Also the time they stopped by without it being pre arranged. All the information they had could possibly have been found on the Internet. If the OP lives in an upscale neighborhood i would be even more suspicious.

Always err on the side of prudence.

Bty, your post was clear, concise and well written, perfect.

---

Thank you very much for your kind words.

[CANDLEQUEEN]

Never never ever would I invite someone I did not know into my home......I don't care who they were related to...This day and age, we can't be too cautious.. There are a lot of crazy scammers out there, and I am not a very trusting person....I think your husband was ok with just chatting with them outside and with you staying inside watching.......

If I am home alone, I no longer even answer my door, if I don't know who it is.Family and Friends tend to give a quick call before stopping over, so if I don't know you, sorry! 

[CANDLEQUEEN]

---

@Lilysmom wrote:

@J Town Girl et al, think you handled the sutuation perfectly.

I am curious though about those that would not answer the door when an unwanted caller comes.  If I had a gate, I don’t think I would be as concerned.  However I would be worried if someone came to the door that I didn’t know and I didn’t answer the door that they could be casing the home and attempt to break in thinking no one was home.

I am seriously thinking about a device like ring so I don’t have to answer the door to speak to strangers.  LM

---

That is a concern, but last Saturday night we had just gotten home from a church function, it was around 830pm, a bunch of lights were on in our house, and someone ran the doorbell real aggressively(ringing it more than once). We were both on the 2nd floor changing our clothes into P.J's, and by the time my husband got downstairs to see who it was, he saw them running towards a car and the car sped off.

I said they were probably casing the neighborhood, and my husband said why would they pick the house with all of these lights on then? No answer, but since then, we have been very observant, even more so than usual...We do have a home alarm system which we use, but I would really like to think and know more about RING.........

[bridal_diva]

I think you did the right thing. How do you even know they were legit, and not someone trying to gain access to your home. It could have been a really bad outcome if that were the case. Even with an old family picture, I would have been skeptical. They never reached out to you before they were on the other side of a locked gate.

Maybe I am too cautious anymore - JMO!

[chrystaltree]

---

@DearPrudence wrote:

I find it strange that they had your name, address and phone number, or that they went to the trouble to find that information while just "passing through".

---

        Yes!  And we all know how easy it is today to acquire all that information.  Perhaps their story was legit but it's suspicious that they didn't make contact before that suprise visit.  They were young people not 80 year olds from a different time.  Also, Canada is not some utopian La La land where is good and wonderful and generations of families live together in harmony accepting any stranger into their midst...lol   Every problem, challenge, struggle that we have here, they have in Cananda.  Including scammers.  

[Mj12]

@J Town Girl you and your husband handled it perfectly.  Always trust your gut.  Always.

[Lilysmom]

@J Town Girl, I am Canadian and live in a bedroom community of a city of 500,000 people.  I would not have let them stay.  Doesn’t matter where you live, just good common sense to listen to your inner voice.  LM