Among Friends

[Citrine1]

That story is hysterical @RedTop.  And I laugh at the way you told it -- like Sophia on the Golden Girls.  LOL 

[jeanlake]

Church and funeral stories are the best -- why is that? RedTop's story reminds me of a Seinfeld episodes where Elaine giggles at funerals. 

My four-year old daughter sat on my sister's lap during my grandmother's funeral. A lady from her church strummed her guitar and sang an old hymn, with a lot of nasal. Daughter tugged at my sis and asked in a loud voice (always) "Can grandma hear her? Because she's not very good." Those darn church giggles.     

[on the bay]

@ciao_bella-

Oh my gosh!

I jave to say that I have read this over and over and now I just have to read the first few lines and I'm laughing all over again.

I love how it is so sedate-"The following is an uncomfortable and embarrassing situation..." These words alone and i can hardly see, I"m again laughing so hard!

You should definitely be a stand up!😂

[on the bay]

@FuzzyFace-

I thank you for starting this thread! 

Anytime we want to laugh, we just have to look here-so good!

[on the bay]

I do have funny funeral stories but this one I remember from years ago.

My mother and sister and I had just bought a floor lamp at the mall.

She was holding it in her hand lengthwise so it reached into several feet and people were getting politely out of theway.

A guy in the next isle yelled over -

"A flashlights easier!"-

At my father's funeral, I got up to use the ladies room and a girl with wild hair threw her arms around me crying hysterically. I finally pulled myself away and said "Who are you?!"

It just flew out of my mouth.

She said: (her name)

and I said oh!

It was my stepsister but I never would have recognized her. Not so funny for her but we laugh about it now-the way she said her name so loud. We hadn't seen or heard from them in years.

ok. last one.

This is a true story. You had to know my father who loved to sing army songs to us ever since we were little kids.

So at his memorial which was outside, the minister asked if anyone would like to say anything. My sister looks at my sweet stepmother and asks:"Is it ok?"

My stepmother rolls her eyes and says "Oh Lord!"

WEll, my sister says, this is for my father from my sister and I and proceeded to sing one of his favorite songs:

"You take a neck from some old bottle.

You take an arm from some old chair.

You take a leg from some old table.

And from a horse, we'll take some hair, we'll take some hair!

And then you put it all together.

And then you stick it up with gluueewu!

And I'll get more lovin from a gosh darn dummy then I'm ever gonna get from youuuw!

The assitant minister covered his mouth so he could keep from laughing. 

Of course my sister sang this in all solemnity, and we both ended smiling politely with our hand folded.

We knew my father loved it and was probably laughing and thinking well done girls!

[Leiloni]

---

@on the bay wrote:

@FuzzyFace-

I thank you for starting this thread! 

Anytime we want to laugh, we just have to look here-so good!

---

@on the bay I agree with you, read & read again, its like they never get dull just funnier. My stomach hurts from laughing so hard! 

[Leiloni]

---

@on the bay wrote:

I do have funny funeral stories but this one I remember from years ago.

My mother and sister and I had just bought a floor lamp at the mall.

She was holding it in her hand lengthwise so it reached into several feet and people were getting politely out of theway.

A guy in the next isle yelled over -

"A flashlights easier!"-

At my father's funeral, I got up to use the ladies room and a girl with wild hair threw her arms around me crying hysterically. I finally pulled myself away and said "Who are you?!"

It just flew out of my mouth.

She said: (her name)

and I said oh!

It was my stepsister but I never would have recognized her. Not so funny for her but we laugh about it now-the way she said her name so loud. We hadn't seen or heard from them in years.

ok. last one.

This is a true story. You had to know my father who loved to sing army songs to us ever since we were little kids.

So at his memorial which was outside, the minister asked if anyone would like to say anything. My sister looks at my sweet stepmother and asks:"Is it ok?"

My stepmother rolls her eyes and says "Oh Lord!"

WEll, my sister says, this is for my father from my sister and I and proceeded to sing one of his favorite songs:

"You take a neck from some old bottle.

You take an arm from some old chair.

You take a leg from some old table.

And from a horse, we'll take some hair, we'll take some hair!

And then you put it all together.

And then you stick it up with gluueewu!

And I'll get more lovin from a gosh darn dummy then I'm ever gonna get from youuuw!

The assitant minister covered his mouth so he could keep from laughing. 

Of course my sister sang this in all solemnity, and we both ended smiling politely with our hand folded.

We knew my father loved it and was probably laughing and thinking well done girls!

---

@on the bay Oh this is too funny, I am crying with laughter, what a song. Thx for sharing this, I'm still cracking up!

[on the bay]

haha, thanks @Leiloni

When my sister or I tell this story people think we are joking. No we are not- she really did sing it lol!

I found myself singing this to my grandson the other day, (he's only 2) and then looked over at my daughter and said, oh, maybe not appropriate? lol!

How about-

"Hard hard Hannah, vamp of Savannah GA-

Well, I went down to the beach just for to get a tan,

And there was Hannah,

pouring water on a drowning man!

Hard harded Hannah, vamp of Savannah, GA!"😂

I loved this one-I always thought I wish I could meet Hannah! I couldn't imagine anyone being like that haha!

[Leiloni]

@FuzzyFace   Thank you so much for this hysterically funny thread, what a great idea you had. I am reading these again & will probably read them all again tomorrow. They are all so funny, including your's of course! Thank you  I don't think I'll ever get tired of reading the posts here.

[Leiloni]

@on the bay  You are so funny, I never doubted for a minute that your little sister didn't sing the song, that's what made it so funny & of course the words. I also like your 2nd one too. Did your Father teach you Hard Hard Hannah too? I bet he was a really funny man!