Unbelievable Neighbor Request #2 - Page 3

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

Without judgment, there's just some people in this world who don't understand. Take it with a grain of salt, and tell yourself in any future events as this one, no, sorry, we aren't able to. You don't have to explain, you can kindly say no. Really, there's just some people in this world who don't understand. (What they are asking for).

lovesrecess · ‎03-14-2010

Was your husband’s disablility visible? If he was washing his own truck, she was probably not aware he had a disability. Cleaning up her car was very nice, but if she is expecting it to be done on a regular basis, then that is far too presumptuous. You were totally right to pass on the info of someone who does such work professionally. Her decision as to whether she wants to pay or not. Another option....the daughter cleans her mother’s car herself!

Jackhound Mom · ‎03-09-2010

@San Antonio Gal wrote:
@Jackhound Mom - just curious - why couldn't the daughter clean the mother's car?

That is the question isn't it! We were in Vail AZ and her daughter lives in Mexico. She was younger and healthier than either of us but she was always completly dressed up and never did any labor at her mother's home, just visited. We both should have handled this in another way. I hate to admit it but we have been used and that is our own fault. We want to be good to our neighbors without doing more that we should.

Jackhound Mom · ‎03-09-2010

@manny2Thank you for understanding exactly what happened!

@manny2 wrote:
@Jackhound Mom wrote:
A lady up the street fell and broke her hip. We knew her enough to say "hello"

Her daughter came down after her mother came home from surgery because she saw my DH washing our truck. She asked if he would clean up her mom's car (for free) which he did even though he is disabled which everyone was aware of. He did it and said it was really bad with body fluids, trash & dirt and it took him a few hours and made him sick.

Afterwards I got the number of a man that did car cleaning at your home and gave her the # and price. She was not happy as she expected DH to do her car free forever!
@Jackhound Mom Your husband did a very kind favor for this neighbor. I am sure it caught him by surprise, so he really didn't have time to think. I am sure if she asked again he would say no. You did the right thing giving her the name of someone that charges, because you sent the message my husband wont be doing this again.

Jackhound Mom · ‎03-09-2010

@SnooppThey were all just a door or 2 away from us on the same short street in an over 55 community.

We are now in another over 55 (in a different nearby city) and so far only 1 neighbor asked for something we were Not willing to do for them.

I am so puzzled by all that happened and can't explain it myself.

Jackhound Mom · ‎03-09-2010

@Happiness Is Inside JOB wrote:
I had to learn this ......

Learn to say NO!!

When you do thing that you don't want to do...out of adult peer pressure....often times you are later MAD at yourself. Wondering WHY am I here, I want to go home.

I have learned...say NO!!!!

Just because you say you NO that is not a lie, say you are not available. That is not a lie, you can be home watching TV. Sometimes you just did a mental health day. Just say NO!!!

You are absolutely correct.

Cathy

Jackhound Mom · ‎03-09-2010

@lovesrecess wrote:
Was your husband’s disablility visible? If he was washing his own truck, she was probably not aware he had a disability. Cleaning up her car was very nice, but if she is expecting it to be done on a regular basis, then that is far too presumptuous. You were totally right to pass on the info of someone who does such work professionally. Her decision as to whether she wants to pay or not. Another option....the daughter cleans her mother’s car herself!

DH walks with a pronounced limp with a cane and the frown lines on his face probably let most people know he is clearly in pain. He does clean our truck but it is not easy for him. The daughter probably didn't know and wouldn't care but her mom definately knew Dennis was a 100% disabled Army Veteran. She didn't care either. They just took advantage of his good nature.

After all that happened in that neighborhood it changed us. Believe me there was soooo much more that went on that I could never write about here and probably most readers would not believe me it is so extreme.

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

I'm missing something. How often does someone need their car cleaned? Are these people living in the thing?

Not that I think your husband should do it at all, let alone for free, but why can't the daughter run it through a car wash? If the woman broke her hip, she won't even be driving the car so why does it need to be cleaned?

Jackhound Mom · ‎03-09-2010

@Lipstickdiva wrote:
I'm missing something. How often does someone need their car cleaned? Are these people living in the thing?

Not that I think your husband should do it at all, let alone for free, but why can't the daughter run it through a car wash? If the woman broke her hip, she won't even be driving the car so why does it need to be cleaned?

@LipstickdivaI can't answer your questions. There was only a do it yourself carwash in the city we lived in and I'm sure her daughter would have never done the work. The lady who broke her hip would have driven her car after she healed.

As I wrote earlier, we no longer live there. It was a little over a year ago when we did.

I still have a couple of friends that live there and strange things are still happening!

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

I don't think it hurts us to do something, even something we might not really want to do, for someone who is in need of our help.

Your husband was very kind to do this for her.

What I don't think we need to feel obligated to do is be a door mat for people who expect us to just give and do for them all the time.

I think that sometimes when you get older, and you still have a husband, some of the older ladies that don't have a man or an adult child around assume they can 'borrow' yours for help in things that a husband might normally do (clean a car, handyman kind of help, moving/lifting things etc.).

I'll give my time and effort to someone I know that I know needs the help......once. But it has to be a special relationship or circumstance to think I will fill the void for you on a regular basis all the time.