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01-17-2020 02:52 PM
A lady up the street fell and broke her hip. We knew her enough to say "hello"
Her daughter came down after her mother came home from surgery because she saw my DH washing our truck. She asked if he would clean up her mom's car (for free) which he did even though he is disabled which everyone was aware of. He did it and said it was really bad with body fluids, trash & dirt and it took him a few hours and made him sick.
Afterwards I got the number of a man that did car cleaning at your home and gave her the # and price. She was not happy as she expected DH to do her car free forever!
01-17-2020 03:01 PM
No one can take advantage of you - or DH- without your consent.
I try to be a good person and do good deeds for others, but always on MY terms.
Too often the Takers of the world impose upon the Givers.
It's OK to say, "sorry-no" and not feel the least bit bad about it.
The neighbor with the mom's car would have kept asking elsewhere had your DH said no., and I'm sure the other neighbors continued to ask around so that they would not have to be inconvenienced for their own home repair.
01-17-2020 03:02 PM
Better to politely say no as soon as asked.
Lots of people have back issues, and difficult to lean over, cleaning cars, etc., etc.
01-17-2020 03:09 PM
That was so nice of your DH to help her. He sounds like a really good man.
It is really rude of your neighbor's daughter to expect him to do all the upkeep of her mother's car and not offer to pay.
If she asks again, he should politely say, he would like to continue to help, but he has physical limitations/ medical problems that prevent him from doing so.
Some people just don't have a clue...they feel so entitled.
01-17-2020 03:30 PM
@Jackhound Mom How did you 'know' she 'expected your DH to do her car free forever'? Did you just assume that? I don't think I would have bothered to give her the # of another man to clean her car in the future...I would have just left well enough alone and if she asked my DH to do it again, that would be the time for you and or your DH to politely decline.
01-17-2020 03:31 PM
Well I did #1 so here comes #2.
I was on the highway when a grandkid decided my dinner was the pits and let loose. All I could do was ask to not hit the other kids with it. But when I got them home DD was at the ready with the carpet cleaner.
01-17-2020 04:57 PM
They invented the word "no" for a reason. In this situation, I'd be furious with my husband for agreeing to clean up someone's filthy car. What the heck is wrong with your husband that he couldn't refuse? I don't blame the woman for assuming he'd do it again, she probably never thought he do it the first time.
01-18-2020 07:24 PM
@SunnyskiesSorry I didn't answer you sooner there were a lot of posts. When I took the name & # of the man that cleaned cars she was stunned. I guess she thought her daughter had made it clear to DH that it wasn't a 1 time favor on his part. I know he would have declined if he had seen the condition of the car and I know he felt sorry for her because of her condition. I do wish he had said No upon her request but she took him by suprise and as someone else said he's too nice.
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