Among Friends

[Allegheny]

@shoppinggirl12  Re: the girlfriend.  You weren't even in the hearing, your husband was.  So why isn't she talking to DH.  I think we both know why.  He probably would not let her intimidate him and she knows it.  While I wouldn't want to alienate her, I would let it be known firmly that you and DH are deferring to the advise of the professionals who are more experienced in treatment for his disorder.

I worked for many years on psych units, and it isn't a picnic for those new to the experience.  Of course he doesn't want to be there.  But that's not the point.  He and she obviously do not or want not to understand the disease.  It is not one that a person can treat themselves without professional intervention and medication.  Youth is on his side and this is an opportunity for him to get control over his disorder if he is compliant.

His surroundings are probably not pleasant, but unless there are funds for a private facility, then it is what it is.

Keep this in mind.  Take one day at a time.  This is tramautic for you and DH, but keep in mind you are doing the best for your son.

[Allegheny]

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@RetRN wrote:

I would not talk to the GF, she is not family so I don't understand why she is being given any medical information. 

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He might have authorized her on his HIPPA forms. If I want to exclude my DH on my HIPPA forms I can do so.

[shoppinggirl12]

Well, my son called me from the hospital this afternoon.....I have not heard from him since Thurday night, when he was admitted.

He was still in a manic state, talking fast and yelling at me.  Why did I put him in there???  Tell the doctor he is okay to leave!!!    Also telling me that he will never have anything to do with me, if I dont get him out.  Nor will his girlfriend.  They will not bother with me every again.

I did manage to get him to give authorization for case worker/doctors to talk to me, but I am afraid I talked him into it....because he thinks I can now tell the doctor he can leave.

UGH - my heart breaks over and over

[RedTop]

@shoppinggirl12,

You have done the right thing for the right reasons.   Once your sons condition is better controlled, you will see the son you know again.   If your relationship was good before, it will be again.  

Do not continue to stress yourself over what your son says, or his girlfriend says.   A bipolar diagnosis means you will be coping with this situation with your son for a very long time.   You must learn to control how you react, and lessen your anxiety.   

[sydsgma1]

@shoppinggirl12

When bipolar are in a manic state, they can be very manipulative. Stay strong...we would always tell our child no or even better not acknowledge her statement. You can now share with the case manager what is going on...they should be able to advise you.

and do not beat yourself up..this is the disease talking not your son..Some day he Wii thank you...believe me , I know.

[NickNack]

@shoppinggirl12  I am so sorry you and your son are going through this.  I hope he will accept the help that he's getting there and some day will realize why you did this for him and thank you for it.

[BirkiLady]

@shoppinggirl12  Think pragmatically from now on; not with your heart. You'll survive this if you remain strong and don't fall apart. Glad your son called you! Even if he was angry. Sometimes people reach out in strange ways; don't take it personally. His meds haven't thoroughly kicked in; nor has he had time to speak with a therapist at length (that may not happen in his 30-day stay). If you are able to afford a long-term treatment care facility, have you checked into some good ones? They are often covered by your insurance. If not, do you have a great physician lined up? A therapist won't be covered by insurance, but someone with a PhD or a licensed physician should be covered. Check out creditials! Best wishes.. 

[CAcableGirl2]

@dex @shoppinggirl12 I agree about the girlfriend.  She may have ulterior motives or may be doing what she thinks is the right thing to do.  Either way, don't alienate her as she may be the ONLY link to your son in the future. 

No need to share all your feelings with her, just be sure that she is aware that you are trying to do the best thing for your son to get healthy, that you love him, and support him, and only want the absolute best for him.

She may need to confide in your at a later time if she suspects your son is not taking his meds and then you might be able to work as a team to get him the help he may need.