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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,162
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Too much stuff!

[ Edited ]

@rnmom Nice to know I'm not alone. Hubs is a great guy in many ways -- we're just not compatible regarding tidy business. It's a touch point for me now since his parents moved out of their home into an active care center; three bedroom patio home to one bedroom home at the nice center. They literally walked away from the house. Hubs has power of attorney. We've been cleaning in the evenings. They left everything in pantry and fridge. So much trash and we're giving away furniture after garage sales. The home is getting 'lipstick' before the sale -- interior painting and new carpeting. Updated colors - our painter friend helped us select great colors. Inlaws dropped in and complained about the new look. I'm just used to my dad. When I cleaned out his apartment he left it sparse and clean, all kitchen food and bathroom drawer items removed. I just brought boxes. Our parents are different people. Thanks for listening to my vent.       

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,013
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

@jeanlake 

 

You are a good person for helping to clean out their home.  

 

Think I'd have been tempted to call someone to just haul it all away as junk.  If they were physically unable to help, it's another matter.  But if they just dumped the work on you and your husband, they are just incosiderate.

 

As to their "complaining" about the new look, I would ignore their comments.

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,162
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

@Witchy Woman I agree. I'm going along to get along so I don't add stress to hubs' world. He's now seeing things about his parents that I've seen for 40 years. His sis lives in town but hasn't spoken to her parents for 30 years. Little brother lives in another city and has a busy family and stressful career. Hubs is oldest son. And he's waaaay too nice. Nicer than I am. Parents are 90 and 84 - but healthy. It's one of those famdamily things.      

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,806
Registered: ‎03-17-2010

Too much stuff??  You betcha!!  I am neat and orderly but I've sold on eBay since 2003 and was an antique dealer for years, once even being in 3 Antique Malls at one time and in those days was beating the bushes for interesting items I could sell.  I catagorized them and packed them in boxes and generally kept my items neat and cared for.

 

DH and I are basically neat with DH being a minimalist.  In fact, if I didn't encourage him to buy clothes he just wouldn't care.  I tend to save what I no longer want so I can sell them on eBay and they do well.  

 

We just moved about a year ago and my inventory came with me..... I was going to start up eBay almost immediately but I haven't, mainly because of Covid, going to the Post Office every day and the cost of postage and enjoying my time organizing our new home.... it's been a blast.  We've had one big garage sale and did way better than we thought but now I have to start thnking seriously if I want to continue selling, and how hard it's going to be to donate my inventory!  I still LOVE antiques.  And secretly I still love stuff.....  BUT I can donate when I feel the time is right....  Woman Happy

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,013
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

@Q4u 

 

I admire your tenacity in collecting and selling.  I know it all takes time.

 

I'm guessing once you get into the swing of things, it's easier.  The idea of listing/packing/wrapping items for sale is daunting.

 

Mostly, I just end up donating things to local rescues for them to sell at silent auctions.

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,328
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

@jeanlake wrote:

@rnmom Nice to know I'm not alone. Hubs is a great guy in many ways -- we're just not compatible regarding tidy business. It's a touch point for me now since his parents moved out of their home into an active care center; three bedroom patio home to one bedroom home at the nice center. They literally walked away from the house. Hubs has power of attorney. We've been cleaning in the evenings. They left everything in pantry and fridge. So much trash and we're giving away furniture after garage sales. The home is getting 'lipstick' before the sale -- interior painting and new carpeting. Updated colors - our painter friend helped us select great colors. Inlaws dropped in and complained about the new look. I'm just used to my dad. When I cleaned out his apartment he left it sparse and clean, all kitchen food and bathroom drawer items removed. I just brought boxes. Our parents are different people. Thanks for listening to my vent.       


@jeanlake - Any time, vent away! That's what we are here for, always to lend an ear. If you like, join us over on the home forum, we have a thread "Declutter 2020 what have you purged today". Great group of ladies over there that will always offer support and listen to vents! 

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Posts: 1,642
Registered: ‎04-03-2016

@KBEANS 

Well said.  I see the value in things, memories, quality, cost, potential usefulness, hope that it could be used or wanted  by someone, and not wanting to disrespect the memories of loved ones.  I make pile after pile, sort, etc but progress so slow because I get bogged down by what I see.  Glad I am not alone.  Maybe I will be helped remembering that it's just me - I need to get over it.  

Marie Kondo method not my cup of tea.  I need to be in right mindset.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,384
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

@nevergivesup wrote:

DH still wants to stay in our large family home while I have wanted to downsize before we have a crisis, illness or are just too old to manage it. I do understand that his garage workshop is his greatest joy so I don’t want to pressure him into something that will make him unhappy. However, I want to be happy too and have worried about this for a few years. We came to a compromise and I am free to clean out inside the house and the garage is his space.

 

SO,  I have reduced my kitchen and dining room items to the bare minimum, cleaned out closets, clothes, bedding, artificial flowers, candles, books, my 42 year old son’s drawings from preschool! etc etc It has been so freeing and everything is clean, uncluttered and well organized. I have been able to do it without pressure and I know whenever we do move it will be very easy. My husband is happy because to him everything looks the same but I know the enormity of the job I’ve completed. I’ve cleaned out multiple elderly family members homes in the past and never want to put that burden on anyone else.


@nevergivesup  I am totally jealous of you.  I have soooo much that I need to clean out of my house.  The problem for me now is that I got rid of all the nick nacks and now I'm down to the nitty gritty.  Too nice to donate, but hard to sell.  i.e, complete service for 12 of Ppfaltzgraff Christmas dishes, along with all the serving pieces.   Antique toys from my children. Things from my Mother, things from my grandmother.  It's all overwhelming. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,384
Registered: ‎03-19-2010

 


@Twins Mom wrote:

@KBEANS 

Well said.  I see the value in things, memories, quality, cost, potential usefulness, hope that it could be used or wanted  by someone, and not wanting to disrespect the memories of loved ones.  I make pile after pile, sort, etc but progress so slow because I get bogged down by what I see.  Glad I am not alone.  Maybe I will be helped remembering that it's just me - I need to get over it.  

Marie Kondo method not my cup of tea.  I need to be in right mindset.


@Twins Mom   I'm right there with you.  I've got stacks in the corners of my bedrooms.