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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....


@Anonymous032819 wrote:

@Bri369 wrote:

I think if I really wanted to avoid the drama of gifts or no gifts, I would just invite people and not tell them what it was for.  This way, there is no issue about gifts.

 

A friend of mine did that and it was perfect.  She had a birthday party for her husband, but no one knew it was really a birthday party.  She knew if she requested no gifts, people would bring gifts anyway.  Everyone came and had a great time.  No one felt bad for not bringing a gift, no one felt awkward about do I bring a gift or not...


 

 

 

 

 

@Bri369 

 

 

 

 

That works, too.

 

 

 

I have always said that if I were to get married, I would get hitched in Vegas, and I wouldn't tell anyone that that was why I was going to Vegas.

 

They would just think that I was just taking a vacation, which, I would be.

 

 

Then once home, I would invite people over for a barbecue, maybe even make it potluck.

 

Then, and only then, would I reveal that I had gotten married while on vaca, and surprise! This is the reception.

 

Lest I be accused of  a "gift grab".

 

 


 

 

I went to a wedding once, and none of us knew there would be a wedding.  The couple just invited close friends and family to a party at their home.  It was very exciting to find out why we were actually there, and everything was really lovely.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,889
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....


@esmerelda wrote:

@AuntG wrote:

@BunSnoop wrote:

 

 I had decided to give a gift and was only asking what to write in the card.

 

 I was not asking if it's wrong or right to give a gift. 

 

Thanks to those that answered my question. 

 


Oh but we love giving advice! I'd put "In appreciation of your generosity on your birthday, here's a little thank you for you to contribute to your favorite charity."


@AuntG   Uh...no.  Not only did you bring a gift that she asked you not to bring, you’re telling her what to do with it.


 

A gift should be given with no instructions as to how it is to be used.  I also think that giving directly to a charity in someone's name is much better and much more thoughtful than saying, "This should go to your favorite charity.  Here, you do it."

Honored Contributor
Posts: 33,256
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....



The best thing to put on the card would be "I don't care what you want, I'm giving you a gift beause I want to and that is more important" if I were going to a "no gift" party with a gift.   Love Jane Doe, your forever friend.