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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,665
Registered: ‎05-22-2010

Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

[ Edited ]

I'm going to a birthday party tonight with my husband for a friend of ours - it's her 85th birthday.

 

She is paying for everyone's meals - there will be about 20-25 guests.  It's at a very upscale restaurant.  She wrote on the invite "no gifts".    She does these birthday parties every 10 years, she writes "no gifts" but I heard that everyone either gives gift cards, checks, etc.

 

She does not have a lot of extra income and I know the money gifts are appreciated.

 

I want to put a check in the card.  In the card I guess I want to write, I know you said no gifts, but..........

 

That's where I'm lost.  Do I just say, but.....we just wanted to?  Or how would you phase it?

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,116
Registered: ‎09-30-2010

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

@BunSnoop  . . . but we just wanted to honor you.  Maybe that would work?

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,056
Registered: ‎09-22-2017

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

If she does not want any gifts for herself, would she accept

money and donate it to a charity?

 

Have you gone to one of her parties in the past? Do you

know others that will attend? Maybe you can speak to them.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 30,004
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

When I get a no gifts invite, I always give a gift card to a store or restaurant, or sometimes give a donation in the persons name to a fave charity of theirs. 

QVC Customer Care
Posts: 1,679
Registered: ‎06-14-2015

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,035
Registered: ‎06-10-2015

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

[ Edited ]

How does she pay for that many meals at an upscale restaurant if she does not have a lot of extra income?  She must save up for 10 years.  How do you know the money gifts are appreciated?  Has she told you?

 

Do what feels right for you.  I believe if it were me I would get a card and put in cash what you think 2 meals would cost at the restaurant and not mention a word about it.

 

God bless her and I hope she has a Happy Birthday and a great "party."

BE THE PERSON YOUR DOG THINKS YOU ARE! (unknown)
Honored Contributor
Posts: 21,733
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

To me, "no gifts" means exactly what it says. If it had said "In lieu of a gift, a donation to your favorite charity [or lists an option]," then that's what I would have done.


~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,048
Registered: ‎11-01-2010

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

@BunSnoop 

 

No gifts means no gifts. No buts. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,837
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

[ Edited ]

My sister and I gave my father a birthday party at a nice restaurant for his 80th birthday.  We put "no gifts" on the invitation that was sent to at least 50 people.  Almost everyone came, and no one brought a gift.  He got a lot of birthday cards.  I think "no gifts" means please don't bring a gift.


The Bluebird Carries The Sky On His Back"
-Henry David Thoreau





Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,665
Registered: ‎05-22-2010

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

[ Edited ]

Wow.......Let's just end this one!!   

 

Thanks to those that answered my question - what to write in the card.  :-)