Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@Anonymous032819 wrote:
@Bri369 wrote:
I think if I really wanted to avoid the drama of gifts or no gifts, I would just invite people and not tell them what it was for. This way, there is no issue about gifts.

A friend of mine did that and it was perfect. She had a birthday party for her husband, but no one knew it was really a birthday party. She knew if she requested no gifts, people would bring gifts anyway. Everyone came and had a great time. No one felt bad for not bringing a gift, no one felt awkward about do I bring a gift or not...

@Bri369

That works, too.

I have always said that if I were to get married, I would get hitched in Vegas, and I wouldn't tell anyone that that was why I was going to Vegas.

They would just think that I was just taking a vacation, which, I would be.

Then once home, I would invite people over for a barbecue, maybe even make it potluck.

Then, and only then, would I reveal that I had gotten married while on vaca, and surprise! This is the reception.

Lest I be accused of a "gift grab".

I went to a wedding once, and none of us knew there would be a wedding. The couple just invited close friends and family to a party at their home. It was very exciting to find out why we were actually there, and everything was really lovely.

NYC Susan · ‎03-13-2010

@esmerelda wrote:
@AuntG wrote:
@BunSnoop wrote:

I had decided to give a gift and was only asking what to write in the card.

I was not asking if it's wrong or right to give a gift.

Thanks to those that answered my question.

Oh but we love giving advice! I'd put "In appreciation of your generosity on your birthday, here's a little thank you for you to contribute to your favorite charity."
@AuntG Uh...no. Not only did you bring a gift that she asked you not to bring, you’re telling her what to do with it.

A gift should be given with no instructions as to how it is to be used. I also think that giving directly to a charity in someone's name is much better and much more thoughtful than saying, "This should go to your favorite charity. Here, you do it."

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

The best thing to put on the card would be "I don't care what you want, I'm giving you a gift beause I want to and that is more important" if I were going to a "no gift" party with a gift. Love Jane Doe, your forever friend.