Reply
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,843
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

Giving someone, especially an adult, $ or a check is in really bad taste (unless it's for a Nonprofit donation in someone's name!). I would send flowers to say "Thank You" for a wonderful evening! You should absolutely be sending a note anyway. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 69,397
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

[ Edited ]

 


@BunSnoop wrote:

 

 I had decided to give a gift and was only asking what to write in the card.

 

 I was not asking if it's wrong or right to give a gift. 

 

Thanks to those that answered my question. 

 


@BunSnoop. Did you do so because you wanted us to enable you?  Not going to do that when you're wrong.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
Honored Contributor
Posts: 41,255
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....


@magicmoodz wrote:

I am always amazed to read the responses when this topic comes up. In my world "no gifts" does NOT mean no gifts.  I truly think how we personally  address this issue is based on where we live (regional) and our circle of friends and family.

 

No gifts to me means don't go traipsing through Nordstrom looking for a silk scarf or a silk tie you think the recipient might like. Instead a gift card to a new restaurant, a bottle of champagne or wine, a gift card to a favorite bookstore are all suitable no gift gifts.

 

It is simply not acceptable TO ME to be invited to a party and arrive empty-handed. It's really no different than being invited to someone's home for dinner where you would bring a bottle of wine and/or a floral arrangement...or maybe I am assuming too much here.

 

 


 

 

i am the same way @magicmoodz .....you stated it perfectly. Smiley Happy

 

BUT, as you can see......there is a sharp divide on this subject......there always is.

 

********************************************
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein
Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,163
Registered: ‎10-04-2010

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

[ Edited ]

No gifts mean, I don't need or want things. It could mean:  I have trouble getting around and don't want to dust or find room for something I may not want or need.  Gift card if you must do something.  She can easily give that away if she doesn't want it.  If she does, she can use it.  We all need to eat, but she may be on a certain diet.  

 

If they say it, they mean it.

 

Take pictures, to remember the occasion.  Then take them to her and show her.  She won't want them to store (again) have to find room for, and stick in a drawer somewhere.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,347
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....


@BunSnoop wrote:

 

 I had decided to give a gift and was only asking what to write in the card.

 

 I was not asking if it's wrong or right to give a gift. 

 

Thanks to those that answered my question. 

 


Oh but we love giving advice! I'd put "In appreciation of your generosity on your birthday, here's a little thank you for you to contribute to your favorite charity."

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,195
Registered: ‎03-13-2010

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

What a lovely thing your friend is doing!  She wants all her friends to enjoy her special day with her without any worry about expense or what to buy,etc.

 

Only you know her and how she feels about these things, so just let that be your guide!  

 

I can only speak for myself and since I don't know you or her, my inclination would be simply to just give her a beautiful birthday card with a message stating what a gift she has been and continues to be to you, and that you want to take her out for a special luncheon or dinner at a time and place chosen by her. 

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin
Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,583
Registered: ‎06-25-2012

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

I always bring a small gift. I don't care if the invite says no gifts. I'm a very gifty person. A giftcard in a nice birthday card is perfect. 

"Pure Michigan"
Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,725
Registered: ‎10-01-2013

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

I would never attend an 85th birthday party without bringing something. I think what the OP did was nice and I truly think the recipient of the gifts enjoyed and appreciated them. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,415
Registered: ‎11-25-2011

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

So if she would've been very cordial during the dinner

and then left all the flowers/gifts behind....

how would everyone feel about that?

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,419
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Told Not To Bring a Gift, But I Am.....

I do hope you enjoyed the party.