Today I changed Christmas forever...

house_cat · ‎03-09-2010

I've always enjoyed being Santa Claus to my kids, even after they've been grown. I had the means to go a little overboard at Christmas, so I did because I enjoyed it.

Well, this is the first year I am retired (sort of) and living on a significantly reduced income. I asked the kids today if we can do a Christmas drawing, one gift per person, with the exception of my baby granddaughter who I intend to spoil as long as possible.

They thought it was a great idea, so we'll choose names on Thanksgiving. The problem is that I'm feeling kind of sad about it and I'm not really sure why.

If you don't mind sharing, I'd love to know how my forum friends deal with gift giving among family members.

~ house cat ~

San Antonio Gal · ‎05-18-2017

@house_cat - My two grandkids (9 and 11) get a ton of stuff from me and hubby. I also am generous with my only daughter. The adults don't want or get anything.

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@house_cat

Nothing wrong with being creative.

We drew names for a while, then decided to take the time to buy the adults each a beautiful, meaningful Christmas card.

My sister and I cheat, though ... we buy each other a holiday gift ... with a maximum cost of five dollars! LOL

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

@house_cat Because our grandkids are grown and married now... they really need the money. The youngest is married and has a baby. His wife has 2 yrs. to go to get her PA. They live in a one bedroom apartment and it will be awhile before they can afford a home. The oldest is married about 6 yrs. and just bought a house that needs some remodeling.

In view of all this,we are buying presents (for the great-grandchildren 5 months and 9 yrs. old) and the adults are all getting money. I think.... in these days....money is more appreciated.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

I retired last April but hubby is still working. I collect retirement benefits from my job but I'm deferring my SSA benefits until my full retirement age. I have savings so while I made much more from my salary, I don't consider my income to be reduced. I have 2 adult daughters, their spouses, 3 grandchildren. Also an adult nephew, his wife and their daughter. I do spoil them all! I always have; nothing has changed. We all buy gifts for each other. There's no dollar limit, we shop within our means. Everyone understands, it's the thought and love behind the gift and not the dollar amount. My sister is disabled and on SSA. She gives great, thoughtful gifts that don't cost a lot. She has a knack for choosing things we love but wouldn't think to buy for ourselves. That's how we do it but there is no right or wrong way. Families do what is right for them.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@house_cat Of course it is sad when life changes. It is for lots of us in so many ways. However, we can be thankful for the past, deal with reality, and do our best to make life better for the future.

judianne · ‎07-09-2014

l am also caught in the gift giving christmas dilema . l am retired , on Social Security and a little retirement fund . l have been spending or giving $100 dollars to 5 close relatives , and $50 dollars on 9 other relatives , All are kids , grandkids , greatgrandkids in-laws and my grand sons girlfriend , she lives with him so l must include her . l usually buy gifts for the little ones , gift cards or cash for the rest .Its nearly $1000 dollars . l neverget anything back from the grandkids or in-laws . My 2kids give my husband and me gift cards . We end up with about $250-300 dollars . Not even close to the $1000 l spend . Then my sister-in- law , bless her heart , she always has the whole family over the saturday before xmas . lt s around 35 people . We all bring food and desserts . We do a dice game for wrapped presents and the a dice "steal" after they are oppened .Since Just the 3 of us bring gifts , my 2 sister-in -laws and myself , we dont ask our kids or grandkids to bring gifts . l ussualy spend $200 on the gifts , from $5-#10 dollars each

its a lot of fun , but a bunch of gifts to get for the different ages , plus wrap etc. l dont want to say no , since she graciously hosts this every year . l would like to stop the $ gifts to my kids and older grandchildren They all have more $ than l do , have great paying jobs , dont need the cash . Any ideas . ?

1Snickers · ‎03-19-2016

My older grown grand kids who live in other States get a card with a check. Their children (my great grandkids) get money deposited in their savings accounts.
My granddaughter who is 15 and lives nearby and is my son's daughter gets a bank deposit also and gifts to unwrap Christmas. The adults who are here get gifts to unwrap also.
My cousin who lives in Ft Meyers, FL suggested we both do donations to a charity the city recommended for the hurricane relief. I think that's a great idea!
🛍🎁 💌 💵🏦

ThinkingOutLoud · ‎05-01-2020

@house_cat wrote:
I've always enjoyed being Santa Claus to my kids, even after they've been grown. I had the means to go a little overboard at Christmas, so I did because I enjoyed it.

Well, this is the first year I am retired (sort of) and living on a significantly reduced income. I asked the kids today if we can do a Christmas drawing, one gift per person, with the exception of my baby granddaughter who I intend to spoil as long as possible.

They thought it was a great idea, so we'll choose names on Thanksgiving. The problem is that I'm feeling kind of sad about it and I'm not really sure why.

If you don't mind sharing, I'd love to know how my forum friends deal with gift giving among family members.

My dad's brothers and sisters didn't exchange gifts. My mom's side gave to each sibling/family and my mom thought it should end loooong before it did. It just added unnecessary stress.

I think once kids are on their own, a drawing with a $30 limit should suffice.

I also like the idea of 3 gifts for kids (ie 3 wisemen) and keeping in mind something they need, something to read, something they want and something to wear.

Boundaries are a good thing and 'stuff' can never replace love, patience, understanding, compassion...

KathyM23 · ‎11-20-2010

When my grandkids were young we had Christmas at our house with a dinner, then gifts. I always spent the same amount of money on each grandchild with about 7 gfits each. Their parents daughter/son and their spouses each got one gift and a gift card for a favorite restaurant And the Christmas dinner and festivities are now at son's house as we are aging and it was time for the next generation to take over, which they are happy to do.

When grands were in their teens they preferred money to gifts. I didn't like it because gifts to me mean presents, but we began giving them money as that would be useful to them. They are now married, working, have their own homes so Christmas is scaled down. Give the same for our kids - one gift each and a gift card and grands get money instead of a gift but in a reduced amount as they probably make more than we do now!

But, we are going to have a great-granddaugher in March so next year, back to buying presents for our great-grand. Yea.