Among Friends

[hoosieroriginal]

My friend is going through a medical crisis with her parents and I can tell how difficult it is for her.  Both of my parents died when I was young, but I have watched multiple friends dealing with this.  Just know you are being a blessing to your parent(s) and how much they appreciate your kindness.  One day you will look back and be glad you were there to see them through their tough times. 

[meallen616]

[eddyandme]

IMHO caring for elderly parents is a very special blessing.  We learn so much about life, ourselves and most of all, we learn to totally appreciate all they've done throughout their lives for us while forming an even closer bond.

[2blonde]

@hoosieroriginal  My boss (she's a lot younger than me) went through that with her dad a few years ago.  She and her sister were there for him every step of the way, and it was years of mild Alzheimer's and then the physical deterioration.

Now, she has a similar situation with her mother who is dying from lung cancer.  She still manages to take care of her famiy while keeping a close watch on her mom and working full time as the head of an importand department.  She and I have had our differences over the years, but I have the highest respect for her dedication to her parents. When all is said and done, she will have no regrets knowing she did all she could for them.

[Vivian]

Those who live close to elderly parents are fortunate. I live hundreds of miles from my soon-to-be 95-year-old mother. She wants to stay in her home and, after another health scare, finally agreed to a 24/7 caregiver. I work out every morning and, as soon as I arrive home, I check my voicemail for fear there may be yet another emergency. My brother lives near my mother but commutes to work every day and is just not available to help, in part because he doesn't want to. So, I am it. My husband has mild cognitive impairment, my children live far away, and the stress is tough to handle. I've learned to take life a day at a time.

[blackhole99]

I would never expect my son to worry about taking care of me or his father as we age and get sick. I always say," don't worry Mommy and DAD will drop dead for you", and my son always says, "thanks Mom". LOL My Dad and Mom died fairly young and my brother took care of them both. My MIL and FIL lived to be fairly old and were a nightmare to deal with, they wanted to be in charge until they drew their last breath and it was very difficult to care for them.

[Kachina624]

My sister and I often agree that we were lucky to have escaped the sadness of dementia or Altzheimers in one of our parents.  Mom died suddenly of West Nile Virus but was acquiring some signs of dementia.  Dad had a heart attack at age 93, and died about a month later.  These were sad events naturally but not as tragic as watching a loved one deteriorate and suffer. 

[jubilant]

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@eddyandme wrote:

IMHO caring for elderly parents is a very special blessing.  We learn so much about life, ourselves and most of all, we learn to totally appreciate all they've done throughout their lives for us while forming an even closer bond.

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************* Yes it is. At the same time it can be a real test of strength, endurance, and perseverence.  It teaches you to be more patient..especially when you are many years into it.  I also think when they have suffered much, it makes you ready, in an odd sort of way, to let them go...even though the thought of it hurts so bad...you know it will be what is best for them when the time comes.  One of my Dad's favorite sayings now is...."I got my bags packed and I'm ready to go". My Dad has Vascular dementia and Parkinson's.  It has progressed slowly. The body is wasting away a little more every week it seems. I hope God takes him before his mind goes.  That, to me,would be a blessing.

[Havarti]

I accidenlty posted this in the wrong spot before, so anyone re-reading this...please forgive my mistake.

Small children help you stop and see the things in life that have become invisible to adults due to a busy life, the routine of life, and more focused interests.  Little ones find wonder in everything around them, from bugs to snowflakes to the kisses their dogs give them.  Sharing in these discoveries with kids really opens your eyes to all that is around us, yet is missed once we get going in life.

Seniors also help you slow down and appreciate life’s gifts.  Caring for seniors makes you grateful for what you take for granted  that they can no longer do – the simplest little tasks, the fun activities & life’s adventures.  As you hear them reflect on their life’s memories it makes you appreciate the small stuff you didn’t know was really so important at the time.  Seniors sharing their pearls of wisdom and their perspective on life really opens your eyes to the soul searching stuff that really matters.  It is not the big deal that you closed, or the contract you signed, or the new car, or house or trip that will matter later in life, it is the little memories that make the heart sing and bring a smile to their face. 

People at both ends of life treasure such unique perspectives and really show us what the important things are & all too often they are not the things the people in the middle of life are focused on.  What is really too bad is that we all go through these experiences that enlighten us, and then when those stages in life are over for our young & senior teachers, we sadly slip back into the routine of life that causes us to miss the very best life has to offer. 

[jubilant]

@Havarti

How true.  So very well said.