Among Friends

[drizzellla]

---

@chickenbutt wrote:

Thank You, Catwhisperer and I send you best wishes and hugs!

Greeneyedlady - I don't think anybody is forcing any of us to do this.  I cannot speak for others, of course, but I do it because I want to do it as long as I can.   Venting about it here is not a bad thing, especially because I imagine we want to be gracious to those for whom we do these things.  Venting is good.  

---

I would hate for anyone in my family to spend a holiday alone - if they didn't want to. We have even driven many hours to pick up a brother and dog for holidays. That is why my house is always open to brothers, children or dogs. I might be tired of the non stop eating and cleaning that takes place but I will get over it - just in time for the next holiday to come along.

[Katcat1]

The problem can be that your daughter(s) don't want it.  It happened to my girlfriend.  Sometimes it can be due to space at their residence or they just don't want to do it.  I hope for your sake, one of your daughters takes it over.  It's a lot of work but you have to be organized with making things ahead of time one or two days.  I hope you had a nice dinner. 

[Katcat1]

Oops!

[Greeneyedlady21]

Do anyone's sons ever take over? I'm honestly just curious. I just thought these days that more men cook.

For me it's just in the spirit of holidays (and year round) for all family members to pitch in and do everything they can to lighten the load if it's just on one person. If that person doesn't want help well that's their decision. But just for me personally I can't imagine always expecting someone to do all of it. Even if they enjoy doing it.

[Catiele]

Today we went to my son's house as we do every year. My husband makes the turkey and I make a desert. It has been like this for years thankfully. When my two oldest sons married I did all holidays. One Christmas both my husband and I were quite tired. My daughters in law brought nothing and did nothing. Son called and said the girls were bored. It was the last time we did Christmas. My daughter in law now is the best. Thankfully.

[Sooner]

---

@chickenbutt wrote:

I feel like I'm about done, due to some health challenges.   At this point, it takes me all week to do it all and it's wearing thin.   I forget things unless I organize to the nth degree (like every tiny little detail of each task).  I about melted down in the grocery store and that was just Monday!

After yesterday I was in so much pain I could barely walk.   Today is fairly light, since I"ve been making dishes and doing some of the prep since Monday.   I have one dose of pain pills left that I can use to get through today.

I don't know if I can do this another year.  But, the thing is - either I do it or it doesn't happen.  I do it partly out of a sense of duty.  I'm not as old as some of you, but between a few health conditions that don't play well together and my quickly deteriorating brain, I don't know.  I guess we'll see next year.    If I feel like I can get through it (and can get something for the pain and fatigue) I'll do it.  Otherwise it might just be no more.

I guess these things, for a variety of reasons are some of what we have to contemplate as we get older and/or as health challenges take over.  

---

@chickenbutt  Sorry to hear you are having problems.  I posted in another place how I used to think I would just start screaming slinging food in my mother's kitchen and being "directed" by her and HAVING to make ALL the sides the day of. And it is usually warm and seemed to be 106 degrees in the kitchen.  

I'd say next time, buy a spiral ham, buy some deli sides and good bread and have fun!  If people don't like it then THEY can do the next one!  I think more of us get to an age where it is time to only do what you can do.  

I hope all went well today and you feel better !  (It's from lifting those heavy pots isn't it?  

[doxie1]

@Greeneyedlady21

My brother will cook everything and bring it. He loves to do it and does an awesome job. The rest of us get to clean up and set up.

doxie

[magicmoodz]

---

@Greeneyedlady21 wrote:

Do anyone's sons ever take over? I'm honestly just curious. I just thought these days that more men cook.

For me it's just in the spirit of holidays (and year round) for all family members to pitch in and do everything they can to lighten the load if it's just on one person. If that person doesn't want help well that's their decision. But just for me personally I can't imagine always expecting someone to do all of it. Even if they enjoy doing it.

---

Yes to men cooking!  Yesterday my brother-in-law made two turkeys--one roasted and one smoked.  He also made the stuffing and mashed potatoes. I took over gravy making.  Now that I think about it my sister-in-law was responsible for cleaning her home and tablescapes.   

As a large family and one that believes in inclusion of friends who may not have a place to go, we can run like a well-oiled machine.  We keep an e-mail sign up sheet where everyone over 21 contributes to our holiday meal from hors d'ouvres to sides to desserts.  Every family also brings a bottle of wine.  

[Greeneyedlady21]

@doxie1 That's great

@magicmoodz That is too, bravo to your family!

[jubilant]

Around where I live (a small rural town in Indiana)  it has always been a custom to take food to where ever you are going on holiday...unless you are specifically asked not to. Even my husbands Aunt insisted on bringing deviled eggs until she was 92!  She passed at 93. I finally told her she didn't have to but she insisted.  I could tell she would be offended if I said anymore...so every single year she called me to ask what she could bring and every year....I said... "Aunt Gladys you know how we love your deviled eggs"!!  She would kind of chuckle and say "ok then....that's what I'll bring"! It was so cute. She never married and didn't cook much but those eggs she had down pat.  I miss her. 

It sounds to me like you got it right. Probably time to pass the baton or order in Pizza!