Among Friends

[missy1]

Sometimes kids don't believe when you tell them they can't. So you have to say the one in charge, said not too.

[aroc3435]

@LTT1  I understand what you are referencing.  I was in similar situations at work that you and your daughter reference.  

Luckily it was a large non-profit organization so I transferred at one point to a different department.  Then I stayed put as I got older and advanced but still encountered the comings and goings of different managers.  Some were excellent, some just so-so.

I retired two years after the most recent manager (from outside the organization) took over the helm.  Don't think this one will even survive the average five year term--this supervisor was that awful and eventually will reap what has been sewn.  Much higher management will eventually catch on to the slick (so this boss thinks) machinations.

Manager from Hades:  Smile at employees and back stab.  Ask the group for suggestions and accept not one of them.  No compromises on anything.  Don't approve vacations submitted many weeks in advance so that there was always adequate coverage.  Rescind flexible hours that had been established for decades.  Impose draconian measures for sick time.  Such a stark contrast to the manager that preceded his/her arrival.

I took the special package that was being offered to those with enough years of service to qualify and retired.  I still feel badly for my co-workers still there suffering that are very long term employees but couldn't take the buy out since they hadn't reached the proper minimum age.

Some of them are now experiencing real health problems related, I believe, to unrelenting stress at the job.

[CrazyDaisy]

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@missy1 wrote:

Sometimes kids don't believe when you tell them they can't. So you have to say the one in charge, said not too.

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Is not the OP the responsible party and in charge of the kids at that time?  Her saying no should be enough. 

[missy1]

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@missy1 wrote:

Sometimes kids don't believe when you tell them they can't. So you have to say the one in charge, said not too.

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Is not the OP the responsible party and in charge of the kids at that time?  Her saying no should be enough. 

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It's not always the case. Work in a school and you will know the answer.

[LTT1]

@aroc3435

Thank you for your post and insights.

The discrepancies I noticed while in the Education field were troubling.  I was so grateful to be able to stay in my own classroom with my students!

Like you, I did feel badly for my fellow teachers who had to absorb my classes when I retired.

That meant a lot of extra work/stress for them.🙁

Speaking of stress, it is such a sad feature of our lives when bullying tactics exist.

[CrazyDaisy]

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@missy1 wrote:

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@missy1 wrote:

Sometimes kids don't believe when you tell them they can't. So you have to say the one in charge, said not too.

---

Is not the OP the responsible party and in charge of the kids at that time?  Her saying no should be enough. 

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It's not always the case. Work in a school and you will know the answer.

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Guess kids no longer respect adults and accept "because I said so" as an answer.

But then again in this case the OP is not respectful to other adults and is teaching that to the children so guess you cannot blame them. 

[Sooner]

I think there is a lot of stirring of the pot and playing games to get allies and pit others against one another, and for her.  The more I read, the more I think that is what is going on.

It is game playing and enjoying the uproar.  I  may be wrong, but as more is posted that's what I get and yes, involving the kids is terrible. 

[Carmie]

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@missy1 wrote:

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@missy1 wrote:

Sometimes kids don't believe when you tell them they can't. So you have to say the one in charge, said not too.

---

Is not the OP the responsible party and in charge of the kids at that time?  Her saying no should be enough. 

---

It's not always the case. Work in a school and you will know the answer.

---

Guess kids no longer respect adults and accept "because I said so" as an answer.

But then again in this case the OP is not respectful to other adults and is teaching that to the children so guess you cannot blame them. 

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I think the OP is spinning a yarn.  If she teaches arts n crafts as she says, she would be working from a plan.  She would know weeks ahead of time what the class assignment is.

The children would not be upset because they could not do something because the supervisor changed his or her mind.  This type of thing would not happen unless there were no supplies for the project.

Her whole story is messed up and unbelievable.  Teachers and aids do not just wing it for classroom instruction. Everything is planned in advance.

[LTT1]

@RinaRina@Carmie@Sooner@CrazyDaisy

Not to add to be a know-it-all, but there are several ways to state what you want students to do:

"I need you to "_____________" (a teacher taught me this one --- it works for kids, grandkids and spouses, too!)

"The policy is :______________" (see, it is the "policy's" fault, not yours....lol)

"It makes me feel bad when you__________" 

[NYC Susan]

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@CrazyDaisy wrote:

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@missy1 wrote:

Sometimes kids don't believe when you tell them they can't. So you have to say the one in charge, said not too.

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Is not the OP the responsible party and in charge of the kids at that time?  Her saying no should be enough. 

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Exactly.  As far as the kids are concerned, she's the one they should view as in charge. She doesn't owe them any kind of explanation at all.

I might (maybe) offer a bit more if they asked in a non-confrontational way why it was previously allowed and isn't now.  But all I would say is that there are now new rules, or something along those lines.  And I would say it firmly, and that would be the end of it.  No further discussion, and no blaming or referencing anyone else in authority.  It's not necessary, and it just encourages kids to argue and complain further.

In the eyes of children, school officials need to maintain a united front.  Personal feelings and disagreements under no circumstances should be played out in front of students.