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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

I am guilty of saying that to close friends, followed by I’m here if you need anything but not something I’ll say anymore. 

 

I also stopped giving compliments. I told a Supervisor she looked very nice and she responded, so I don’t look nice the other days. I said, you always look beautiful but today you look especially nice. 

 

She doesn’t always look nice. But.....

 

 

 

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

[ Edited ]

@desertDi wrote:

Some folks are just RUDE, period.    I've had friends, acquaintances, neighbors, and co-workers, say, "How much are you WORTH?".    I get the feeling people "size you up", by money.........     


@desertDi well that's just none of their business! I don't think they're sizing you up, they're just plain RUDE.

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults


@Imaoldhippie wrote:

Wow after rWoman Frustratedeading these posts its darned if you do and darned if you dont.  I have said someone looked tired and I sincerely meant it that I was concerned.  Well guess you cant care anymore because someone will always find fault with what you say.  

 

This is one of the reasons Im glad I dont socialize much anymore.


Exactly @Imaoldhippie !! Woman Frustrated

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

@KKJ,  I think you are making a good point.  I do think it's possible for a close relative or friend to say this, entirely without malice, to another person.  But I think most of us have at least a pretty good read on whether something is meant kindly, or not.  You can probably trust your feeling that this was not.

 

I prize tactfulness very highly, because I think that a warm regard for the feelings of others lies behind it.  It's not just "being nice".  

 

It's so true that the human tongue is unruly, and the admonishment to control it is such good advice!  Not easy! To me, conveying something negative about how someone else looks at any given point, is not the best.  Far better is to bolster others, whenever we can.

 

Life is so hard, in so many instances, and lifting each other up along the way sometimes makes the difference between a time that is miserable, and one that offers hope. 

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults


@ibb38 wrote:

@desertDi wrote:

Some folks are just RUDE, period.    I've had friends, acquaintances, neighbors, and co-workers, say, "How much are you WORTH?".    I get the feeling people "size you up", by money.........     


@desertDi well that's just none of their business! I don't think they're sizing you up, they're just plain RUDE.


@ibb38  ITA. There's no getting around that or interpreting any other way but being intrusive and with a lot of nerve.

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults


@oznell wrote:

@KKJ,  I think you are making a good point.  I do think it's possible for a close relative or friend to say this, entirely without malice, to another person.  But I think most of us have at least a pretty good read on whether something is meant kindly, or not.  You can probably trust your feeling that this was not.

 

I prize tactfulness very highly, because I think that a warm regard for the feelings of others lies behind it.  It's not just "being nice".  

 

It's so true that the human tongue is unruly, and the admonishment to control it is such good advice!  Not easy! To me, conveying something negative about how someone else looks at any given point, is not the best.  Far better is to bolster others, whenever we can.

 

Life is so hard, in so many instances, and lifting each other up along the way sometimes makes the difference between a time that is miserable, and one that offers hope. 


 

Perfectly said @oznell .

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

@Shanus .............I feel sorry for anyone that insecure.

"If its broke, God can fix it".....Joyce Meyer
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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults


@Imaoldhippie wrote:

@Shanus .............I feel sorry for anyone that insecure.


 

 

I agree @Imaoldhippie , but is it insecurity or sensitivity...big difference. Sometimes, if a friend looks haggered, a hug goes a long way to get her to open up, if necessarry, and relate how cwappy she's feeling. Then it's a win/win situation. You are always so kind and thoughtful...nothing to worry about. Just be yourself. 

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults


@KKJ wrote:

Recently a lady I know (she's not a close friend ) said to me  "Are you tired? You look really tired."  I mean, you might as well say, "you look like ******".  Women don't realize how rude this is.


I think a good majority Do know they are insults....and say them anyway

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

Oh, that.  I would not have taken that as an insult.  I would have taken that as concern.  I don't go around looking for insults where none exist.   We aren't machines, we aren't mind readers, we don't know how someone will interpret what we say based on what's going on in her head or her life.  Women probably do get a little too personal at times, they fail to censor themselves.  We all do it.  We've all had that "maybe I should not have said that"  thought.  We all have our insecurities and sensitive areas and we can feel hur or offended when someone innocently comments on it.