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Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

Great post. Enjoyed reading your responses.

I attended a birthday party for friend's husband yesterday. I got to know a lady who went to high school with my husband. When she left our table she said it was a delight chatting with me - when she sat down next to me she didn't know what to expect..... What the what? I looked across the table with a puzzled look. A lady who knew both of us said -- Never mind her -- she owned a restaurant for decades. What the what to the second power after that comment.

 

I have no idea what either of these women meant. . . . Husband told me not to overthink it. I guess that's the key.

 

I have a pretty daughter who hates it when men tell her to smile. But she said it happens way too often. She's a delightful person and this comment goes all through her. 

 

Life would probably be easier if we scratched our heads, then didn't overthink most comments.

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau
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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults


@Porcelain wrote:

@lmtep wrote:

I wouldn't find it at all offensive.  I would feel like that person cared enough to notice.  Most days I feel invisible to most people, including those the closest to me.


@lmtep I'm sorry you feel invisible to most people most days. I see your post!  Heart


You're very sweet indeed.  I've felt that way most of my life -- started with being shunned by my mother and just, well, long story best not dwelled on.  Something that sticks with you from childhood.  You put a warm smile on my heart.  Heart

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults


@CelticCrafter wrote:

The best is when you've been sick or are sick and someone will say to you, you don't look good.

 

Well, thank you very much for verifying that because no one could be this sick and still look good...  


@CelticCrafter -

And then there's the opposite when you feel like shiiii and someone says "you look great!"

At that point there is no point in explaining.🙄

"If you walk the footsteps of a stranger, you'll learn things you never knew. Can you sing with all the voices of the mountains? can you paint with all the colors of the wind?"
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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults


@Shanus wrote:

@Staciesmom wrote:

I have a "friend" who says things like that to me - small digs - we used to be really close but only see each other on rare occasions now.  Believe me there are things I could make remarks about in her life, but I never would. I think some people either don't realize how snarky they sound, or it makes them feel better to put people down.


 

@Staciesmom   Perhaps I'm more sensitive about these comments because of so much negativity from my own Mom..."You eating enough, too thin", "Feeling OK? So  pale", "Did you do your hair today?", "Do you ever wear color?"...It never ended!


your mom sounds like my mom.Too bad your teeth are not straight..you could have been pretty.Why don’t you smile for any pictures...could it be my teeth.You need to dress up more and then if I did...why are you so dressed up?Who do you want to impress.

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

@Sadiesadie   That's a truly beautiful story and I'm sure you made her day...her week!!

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults


@Whatnow wrote:

@Shanus wrote:

@Staciesmom wrote:

I have a "friend" who says things like that to me - small digs - we used to be really close but only see each other on rare occasions now.  Believe me there are things I could make remarks about in her life, but I never would. I think some people either don't realize how snarky they sound, or it makes them feel better to put people down.


 

@Staciesmom   Perhaps I'm more sensitive about these comments because of so much negativity from my own Mom..."You eating enough, too thin", "Feeling OK? So  pale", "Did you do your hair today?", "Do you ever wear color?"...It never ended!


your mom sounds like my mom.Too bad your teeth are not straight..you could have been pretty.Why don’t you smile for any pictures...could it be my teeth.You need to dress up more and then if I did...why are you so dressed up?Who do you want to impress.


 

@Whatnow   Sisters from other mothers.

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults


@SeaMaiden wrote:

I once had a customer I had not seen in a few years say to me:

 

" YOUR AGING WELL"

 

Like what the ****.😶


 

 

@SeaMaiden   If someone said that to me, I'd "take her out". I may be small, but I'm mighty. We'd all have a funeral to attend.

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults


@Imaoldhippie wrote:

Wow after reading these posts its darned if you do and darned if you dont.  I have said someone looked tired and I sincerely meant it that I was concerned.  Well guess you cant care anymore because someone will always find fault with what you say.  

 

This is one of the reasons Im glad I dont socialize much anymore.


 

 

@Imaoldhippie  No, feel free to socialize. I think people, especially women, are quite sensitive about how they look. I'm just careful to think how I'd feel if someone said to me what I was thinking of saying. Huh? Did that make sense?

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

For me it was my sister in law that I worked with. Numerous times she would say you look tired. At the time I was quite stressed. Had my own family plus taking care of my mother and father. One Friday she said it again. Told her she looked tired too and we needed the weekend to rest. Never said it again. To me it's snarky and not nice in any way.

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults


@Chicagosuburbangirl wrote:

My snarky response to this question is  another question: "do you have a mirror?".


@Chicagosuburbangirl  I've found most people are really talking about themselves when they say stuff like this. So - yes, a mirror would be beneficial!