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Registered: ‎10-27-2010

Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

[ Edited ]

I guess I am nit that touchy. I wd accept such a comment as a lovely sign of reaching out and caring. 

 

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

Yes, and too many times our women friends wear their heart on their sleeve, and are offended regardless of what you say, or do.   

 

Last week I saw a familiar face at Dollar General as I was leaving.   I smiled and waved, but kept walking out the door.   It has now gotten back to me thru my husband, who saw this person the very next day, that I didn’t speak to so and so.   Well no, I didn’t, as I had checked out and was on my way out of the store, and it just didn’t seem like the place to have the conversation we usually have.     

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

@KKJ : My daughter's MIL says that too her a lot

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults


@Sandy Sparkles wrote:

I am guilty of having told someone I knew they "looked tired" when I thought they did. I never thought it was offensive, as it was not intended that way, but after reading the posts here, I doubt that I ever will again. I really had no idea it could be interpreted that way, and feel bad when I think it might have been. I will be much more sensitive in the future and as my mother used to say, "keep your words to yourself".😁

 

 

All we need is LOVE💖


Here's my perspective on it.  Years ago I had a co-worker who would come to my office almost every morning and tell me I looked either tired or in a bad mood.  This was her, coming uninvited into my office, and pronouncing something I took as a negative remark, considering that I spent time every morning to look my best for work.  It wsn't out of concern, she never actually ever asked me how I felt.  The fact was, I was tired because I sleep so poorly but sure didn't need anyone telling me how I "looked" for a particular day.

 

It's one thing if you know someone isn't feeling well to ask how they are, but to give an unsolicited opinion on how some looks is very rude, IMO.

 

 

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

@Shanus : I agree. Why does a comment have to be made about someone's looks anyway if it's not a compliment. I don't get offended but I bet you anything I've said that to someone in the past. If so, I hope I never do again.

Never know what someone is going thru and what issues they are dealing with.  They may be thinking they look pretty good considering all that and then someone makes a comment. 
Who hasn't gone out putting on a brave face while trying to deal with a difficulty and be crushed to know they aren't pulling it off.

A friend and I were shopping when a lady walked out of a store. Short white spikey hair, long sleeve tee, long pants and a beautiful Johnny Was topper. Make up lovely. Had to stop and compliment her. We all chatted for a while and she thanked us as she has cancer and been going thru treatments so the compliment really put a spring in her step. 
As we walked away my friend and I looked at each other and said how grateful we were that we took the time. Who would have known.

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

Sometimes, when speaking with a friend or acquaintance, l’ll bring up the subject that my hair needs a trim, or color touch-up. (I’m a do-it-yourselfer, lol). My hair is long with some layering, straight, and soft-black, something like the host Nancy Hornbeck’s. The woman l’m speaking with will say, “As we get older, shorter and lighter hair is more flattering.” Lol. I then reply that l still like it this way, and am not ready to change my image.

 

I just chalk it up to that the person means well, but has no filter. Lol.

~~Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the 'm' is silent.~~
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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

Had what I thought was a bff constantly say to me you look so tired and whatever I'd be wearing which was new would get -- that looks good on you. Rarely that's nice, just looks good on you.

 

The digs were purposeful---a form of gotcha, passive aggressive---- I don't need it, or her in my life.

 

Sometimes I feel women are catty due to jealousy.

 

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

Wow after reading these posts its darned if you do and darned if you dont.  I have said someone looked tired and I sincerely meant it that I was concerned.  Well guess you cant care anymore because someone will always find fault with what you say.  

 

This is one of the reasons Im glad I dont socialize much anymore.

"If its broke, God can fix it".....Joyce Meyer
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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

I once had a customer I had not seen in a few years say to me:

 

" YOUR AGING WELL"

 

Like what the ****.😶

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Re: Things women say to each other they don't realize are insults

"You look tired" basically means
"You look like c**p" 

 

it's a little dig some women get off on.  if they really cared they wouldn't say a one-liner like this it especially if others are there (like co-workers in the office)