Re: Things women say to each other they don't real... - Page 6

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

OK. If it's an acquaintance, I couldn't care less what negative comments they have to make and let it go. With my dearest friend of almost 47 yrs., (coincidently had lunch just yesterday) & she did look tired. I knew she'd been traveling to one daughter and then the other. It would have been easier to say, "Wow, you look cwappy", but I just said, "So, you've had your share of traveling the last several weeks". That led her to saying how tired she was and needed to rest up because she looked in the mirror and realized it was showing on her. It can all be approached w/ tact...especially if the person is near and dear to you. The rest? Who cares.

Sweetbay magnolia · ‎04-14-2013

Every situation is different. I may change back to my old tag:

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Cogito ergo sum

CelticCrafter · ‎03-09-2010

@Shanus wrote:
@staciesmom wrote:
I have a "friend" who says things like that to me - small digs - we used to be really close but only see each other on rare occasions now. Believe me there are things I could make remarks about in her life, but I never would. I think some people either don't realize how snarky they sound, or it makes them feel better to put people down.

@staciesmom Perhaps I'm more sensitive about these comments because of so much negativity from my own Mom..."You eating enough, too thin", "Feeling OK? So pale", "Did you do your hair today?", "Do you ever wear color?"...It never ended!

@Shanus the "too thin" comments hurt just as much as "did you gain weight" remarks.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@CelticCrafter wrote:
@Shanus wrote:
@staciesmom wrote:
I have a "friend" who says things like that to me - small digs - we used to be really close but only see each other on rare occasions now. Believe me there are things I could make remarks about in her life, but I never would. I think some people either don't realize how snarky they sound, or it makes them feel better to put people down.

@staciesmom Perhaps I'm more sensitive about these comments because of so much negativity from my own Mom..."You eating enough, too thin", "Feeling OK? So pale", "Did you do your hair today?", "Do you ever wear color?"...It never ended!
@Shanus the "too thin" comments hurt just as much as "did you gain weight" remarks.

@CelticCrafter I'm sure they do. I've heard them directed to others and it cuts deep.

nana59 · ‎05-12-2012

@Lindsays Grandma wrote:
@nana59 wrote:
someone i hadn't seen in awhile said that to me yesterday......i deal with chronic pain,,,didn't need to hear that....
@nana59 ...I hear you loud and clear. I too suffer with chronic pain and it does wear people down. I don't know what it is like to sleep through the night because of the pain, even with pain medication. I'm sorry you have to live with it too, bless you.

thank you for your kind words...i wish the same for you.....

Porcelain · ‎02-19-2014

I do my best not to comment negatively on how people look. (The exception being lettuce in the teeth, fly open, tp on the shoe.) But if I see tired body language, or they're sighing or yawning a lot, I may say so and ask how they're doing. If you see someone looking tired or sick at work or socially, they are out and about in spite of how they might be feeling. Hearing that they aren't hiding it well isn't going to make them feel any better. And the whole point of saying anything is to provide support and show you care.

When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.
"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

Porcelain · ‎02-19-2014

@rms1954 wrote:
I wouldn't find it at all offensive. I would feel like that person cared enough to notice. Most days I feel invisible to most people, including those the closest to me.

@rms1954 I'm sorry you feel invisible to most people most days. I see your post!

When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.
"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

San Antonio Gal · ‎05-18-2017

If I was indeed tired and someone made the comment, it wouldn't bother me. If it was a normal day and someone said that, my confidence level would be a bit shaken.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@Daisy Sunflower wrote:

Maybe she was jealous because you looked good. She didn't want you thinking you look good so she had to say something to bring you down a little.

@Daisy Sunflower That makes her even worse...rude AND calculating.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@kitcat51 wrote:
@Shanus wrote:
@kitcat51 wrote:
The people who ask care about me...I don't think it's rude.

@kitcat51 I'm on the fence with this one. While people who do ask care about how you feel, certainly there's a more tactful way to ask instead of equating it to how you look.
When you're not feeling your best it shows on your face so people ask & comment because you look different...I don't know how they can be more tactful because it is about the way you look.

@kitcat51 I'd say they could keep quiet. Sometimes it's best to say nothing.