Among Friends

[Shanus]

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@KKJ wrote:

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@PA Mom-mom wrote:

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@KKJ wrote:

Recently a lady I know (she's not a close friend ) said to me  "Are you tired? You look really tired."  I mean, you might as well say, "you look like ******".  Women don't realize how rude this is.

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@KKJ  When people tell me that, I'm pretty sure they mean it, and I'm pretty sure they're right! I have no illusions. I'm tired a lot.

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But that's just it---I wasn't tired and still find it rude to say.

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@KKJ   @PA Mom-mom  The real issue is that women are quite sensitive about how they/we look. Hearing you look tired, whether or not you are, conjures up dark circles, bags under the eyes and then if we didn't feel rotten before, we sure do now.

[on the bay]

I don't mind when people say it.

I am!

I also don't think they mean it to say you look awful either but say it out of  concern or wanting you to get rest or wondering whats going on and if you are ok.

My mother says it to me often, and I know its because she wants me to be able to get more needed sleep!

Happy naps everyone!

[GCR18]

I don't find it rude, but can understand why you would.  I find it something odd to say to someone that is an acquaintance.

[Desertdi]

Some folks are just RUDE, period.    I've had friends, acquaintances, neighbors, and co-workers, say, "How much are you WORTH?".    I get the feeling people "size you up", by money.........     

[blackhole99]

When I worked I did look tired because I was and my best friend at the time would comment on that all the time. To add insult to injury, she also told me one time I looked depressed.

[rms1954]

I wouldn't find it at all offensive.  I would feel like that person cared enough to notice.  Most days I feel invisible to most people, including those the closest to me.

[Daisy Sunflower]

Maybe she was jealous because you looked good. She didn't want you thinking you look good so she had to say something to bring you down a little.

[BeccaLou]

That would be like offering them a piece of gum.

[kitcat51]

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@Shanus wrote:

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@kitcat51 wrote:

The people who ask care about me...I don't think it's rude.

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@kitcat51   I'm on the fence with this one. While people who do ask care about how you feel, certainly there's a more tactful way to ask instead of equating it to how you look. 

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When you're not feeling your best it shows on your face so people ask & comment because you look different...I don't know how they can be more tactful because it is about the way you look.

[qbetzforreal]

If someone asks if I'm tired or says I look tired, it's usually true.  I am tired.