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04-22-2021 09:25 PM
@FLgardener wrote:I have come to a realization that I need to strengthen myself and not present myself as weak in the world. I'm working on it.
Stiff upper lip, @FLgardener? Personally, I think it's far less taxing to present yourself just as you really are -- I bet it's a combo of strength and vulnerability (my choice over the word "weak")
04-22-2021 09:42 PM - edited 04-23-2021 11:04 AM
@FLgardener ...same thing happened to me when my DH died. Most relatives and friends treated me like I died too. I no longer have anything to do with these people. I don't need people like that in my life and have moved on. I wish the best for you and hope you can move on as well.
04-22-2021 10:03 PM
FLGardener,
I am so sorry for your loss, both your husband and those that have left along the way.
I have not lost a spouse to death, but even though it is certainly not the same, I did loose my husband of 29 years to divorce. Not only was I in grief, but i felt humiliated - both of which caused me to retreat from life. I, too, was broken.
A number of years later when I wanted to reconnect with life, I too found many that had "moved on" or perhaps did not want to take the effort to rebuild a relationship with a single person instead of a couple, or just weren't in a place where reconnecting was something they wanted or needed. I found a new church, got involved to meet new friends, but I also made a list of those I wanted to make another concerted effort to try again. I contacted each person one-on-one and put forth my best effort. I've had various degrees of success, but I know now I've done all I can to salvage the relationship so now I'm ready to let them go.
I hope things begin to become easier for you. If by any chance you live in the NE part of FL, I would love to meet you.
04-24-2021 06:04 PM
@QTsMom ,
Your thoughts are so poignant. I feel for you and hope you are blessed with continual healing.
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