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Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,404
Registered: ‎12-15-2013

They're just not that into me.

For several years now family members expressed concerns about my wellbeing, after losing my soulmate of 40 Years.

 

Now I am up to speed, although it took more than a few years to connect again.

 

I find that family members and friends actually cut me loose. 

 

It hurts.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,745
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: They're just not that into me.

Maybe it was time for them and you to cut each other loose and find your own way into a new life.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,460
Registered: ‎05-12-2012

Re: They're just not that into me.

[ Edited ]

i don't understand what you are looking for from your family....what do you mean by "they're just not that into me."

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,591
Registered: ‎06-24-2019

Re: They're just not that into me.

I understand how you feel.  I had some family members cut me loose the night my husband passed.  For me the wound is more fresh as it was only 7 months ago.

 

I try to tell myself, He it is their loss not mine but yes it does hurt.   I have found "Family" in others and in the long run I know I am better off.  I think you are too but yes I think deep down it will always hurt.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,404
Registered: ‎12-15-2013

Re: They're just not that into me.

Yes, @Nonametoday , I think you are correct. I have a big enough ego and confidence in my brain power, that I think I can move on. There is still this emotional pull, but if I am to be healthy going forward, I think I must cut loose all the baggage.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,404
Registered: ‎12-15-2013

Re: They're just not that into me.

@Miss Pepsi , Wow, you are so fresh into your loss. I, too, have experienced even close relatives and friends who just wanted to move me along quickly through grief. It has been literally an assault on me on top of my great loss.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,341
Registered: ‎04-19-2010

Re: They're just not that into me.


@FLgardener wrote:

For several years now family members expressed concerns about my wellbeing, after losing my soulmate of 40 Years.

 

Now I am up to speed, although it took more than a few years to connect again.

 

I find that family members and friends actually cut me loose. 

 

It hurts.


Maybe too much time has passed.  It is difficut to tell how much time has passed since you last spoke to them.  Maybe they gave you the space you needed, and then just drifted off.  Give them a call.  


-- pro-aging --


Rochester, New York
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,404
Registered: ‎12-15-2013

Re: They're just not that into me.

@nana59 , Well, for example, when I do attend a family function, I am relegated to a certain social area where it's obvious--"Poor Denise"--Let's get her a plate and send her off to a corner.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,404
Registered: ‎12-15-2013

Re: They're just not that into me.

@Peaches McPhee , I never left the family dynamic. In fact I was a caregiver for twenty years for the family matriarch.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,745
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: They're just not that into me.


@FLgardener wrote:

Yes, @Nonametoday , I think you are correct. I have a big enough ego and confidence in my brain power, that I think I can move on. There is still this emotional pull, but if I am to be healthy going forward, I think I must cut loose all the baggage.


@FLgardener 

 

Bless you, Smart and Brave Lady.  Go forth and create a new life, one that is appropriate for you at this stage and leave that life behind as it was intended, like cutting the apronstrings from your parents.  There comes a time after a period of grief that we must move on into the new life.  Many blessings on that journey.