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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,354
Registered: ‎07-17-2010

Re: The power of our words....


@CareBears wrote:

@QVCkitty1 People such as myself who have been beaten down for years by people who claim they loved them, it just becomes almost second nature to start believing everything that has been said, regardless of what your brain and heart tell youself, there is always that doubt that maybe these people were right, after all they loved me how could they want to harm me intentionally, so you start to doubt yourself and how you come across to other people.

 

 

 


@CareBears

 

This really resonates with me.  My parents were very good at letting me know that I'm not capable, and that my ideas are bad.  Every dream I would vocalize would be carefully dissected and destroyed.  Words of encouragement were nonexistent.  When I needed help, it was not there.

 

Between my parents' words and my chronic depression, I came to believe that I was incapable of achieving my dreams.  My father once asked me why I wasn't more of a go-getter.  I told him that if he wanted a go-getter, he should've raised a go-getter.  

 

After all, who pursues a dream that they believe they are not capable of attaining?

 

Even as an adult, I am deeply affected by years of being constantly beat down by my parents, as well as depression and anxiety.  And being treated poorly by others who believe you should be further along in life than you are is just an added bonus.

 

It's the gift that keeps on giving.



"Heartburn Can Cause Cancer" -- www.ecan.org
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,775
Registered: ‎08-30-2015

Re: The power of our words....

@mistriTsquirrel I am so sorry that your parents were not supportive of you, I was lucky my parents were, always believed in me, but I lost them much too early!

 

You and I are so similiar, we let the past dictate our present life we have to stop letting the past dictate who we are now!  Do as I posted in an earlier post, look in the mirror once a day and tell yourself a postitive thought about yourself, (multiple times a day if necessary), believe in yourself because YOU are the most important person in your life right now, YOU are special, YOU are good enough, YOU are amazing, I believe in YOU!

 

This is going to be very difficult for me, to try to find something positive I find in myself, but you and I can do this together, YOU and I are worth it, if we do not believe in ourselves how can we ever expect others to believe in us!

 

Hold yourself up high, walk with a skip in your step, snub your nose at the past, and start each day with positive thoughts not the negative ones of the past!  I believe in YOU and I have never met you, there are so many wonderful people in this world you just have to open your heart and let them shine through you!

 

Remember power in numbers, NOT alone!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,401
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: The power of our words....

Our pastor just spoke about this very thing 2 weeks ago in service......Once it's said, you can't take it back, so be very careful about what you say to someone, words can be so hurtful........You can apologize, but you can never take it back....... 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,354
Registered: ‎07-17-2010

Re: The power of our words....


@CareBears wrote:

@mistriTsquirrel I am so sorry that your parents were not supportive of you, I was lucky my parents were, always believed in me, but I lost them much too early!

 

You and I are so similiar, we let the past dictate our present life we have to stop letting the past dictate who we are now!  Do as I posted in an earlier post, look in the mirror once a day and tell yourself a postitive thought about yourself, (multiple times a day if necessary), believe in yourself because YOU are the most important person in your life right now, YOU are special, YOU are good enough, YOU are amazing, I believe in YOU!

 

This is going to be very difficult for me, to try to find something positive I find in myself, but you and I can do this together, YOU and I are worth it, if we do not believe in ourselves how can we ever expect others to believe in us!

 

Hold yourself up high, walk with a skip in your step, snub your nose at the past, and start each day with positive thoughts not the negative ones of the past!  I believe in YOU and I have never met you, there are so many wonderful people in this world you just have to open your heart and let them shine through you!

 

Remember power in numbers, NOT alone!


Thank you, @CareBears.  There was a time when I felt like they were wrong, and depression destroyed my confidence about that.  If I can get control of my depression, it will help with that.  

 

One thing I do is to try to remind myself not to focus on the past  Right now I have this hanging on my bathroom mirror, as a reminder:

 

Image result for Don't look back



"Heartburn Can Cause Cancer" -- www.ecan.org
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,775
Registered: ‎08-30-2015

Re: The power of our words....

[ Edited ]

@mistriTsquirrel You are looking in the right direction now sweetie, YOU can do this, I suffer with severe depression as well so I know how difficult it can be to move forward when most of your life you knew nothing but negativty, but that does not mean we cannot overcome the past and strive for a better future, it just means we have to work that much harder but we HAVE to believe in ourselves and if we have to reach out to others for help that is OK too, we are not failures no matter how many times we have been told that, {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} being sent your way!

 

If you ever need to reach out to me please do not hesitate, I am far from being an expert (see my posts from yesterday I still struggle every day), but I am a stubborn old broad and I refuse to lose this battle no matter how many steps I might fall back each and every day, I will continue to pick myself back up and take just one step further than the day before!

 

I care about you, and I know so many others do too, put them in your life now, let them be your angels on earth, and SHINE ON!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 20,419
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: The power of our words....

words are so cruel and vicious. they can hurt more than a slap or a punch. it can kill a friendship. words can also heal a broken heart.

 

words are never forgotten. the injuried person will always remember that stab-jab of hate filled sentence for many, many years. words will be also remembered when you help that friend heal from a death of a loved one or just listening when a loved one leaves.

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,354
Registered: ‎07-17-2010

Re: The power of our words....


@CareBears wrote:

@mistriTsquirrel You are looking in the right direction now sweetie, YOU can do this, I suffer with severe depression as well so I know how difficult it can be to move forward when most of your life you knew nothing but negativty, but that does not mean we cannot overcome the past and strive for a better futute, it just means we have to work that much harder but we HAVE to believe in ourselves and if we have to reach out to others for help that is OK too, we are not failures no matter how many times we have been told that, {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} being sent your way!

 

If you ever need to reach out to me please do not hesitate, I am far from being an expert (see my posts from yesterday I still struggle every day), but I am a stubborn old broad and I refuse to lose this battle no matter how many steps I might fall back each and every day, I will continue to pick myself back up and take just one step further than the day before!

 

I care about you, and I know so many others do too, put them in your life now, let them be your angels on earth, and SHINE ON!


Thank you, @CareBears.  I'm gonna keep on keepin' on, the best I can, anyway.  I think I have another hospitalization in my future for my depression and anxiety.  Wish me luck on that.

 

Thanks for your kind support.  Let's be depression buddies!  LoL?  (Not really funny, but if I don't laugh, I'll cry.  :-/  )

 

Hugs to you Heart...

 

Image result for squirrel hugging bear

 

 



"Heartburn Can Cause Cancer" -- www.ecan.org
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,775
Registered: ‎08-30-2015

Re: The power of our words....

[ Edited ]

@mistriTsquirrel I thought a couple of days ago that I was headed for a hospital stay as well, sometimes it just feels as if life is just too painful to even bother with, but then I looked over the last couple of days and started keeping a list of all the positive things that have happened!  I met you, so many people on these forums have reached out, I finished a really good book and started another, I tasted an orange that was beyond juicy and sweet, and I looked into my husbands eyes and saw the love he feels for me, had I not been here I never would have experenced any of those, and every one  of those precious moments in my life made it worth waking up!

 

I  know for me I tend to focus on the "Big Picture" and it becomes scary, unachievable, and just downright impossible, so now I have learned not to do that but to concentrate on the little things that we tend to take for granted every day, when we build those up in our heart and minds those big things do not seem so impossible as the little things  far outweigh the big things, since doing that one little exercise each morning when I wake up life is not so overwhelming!

 

Bad things are going to continue to happen there is no stopping that, right now I am facing a hurdle that I do not even know how to overcome it, and it is consuming me day and night, and I am so ready to give up, but the ultimate ending far outweighs what I would not have in my life if I just abandoned it now, so I keep plugging away and pray every second of the day!

 

I am sincerely reaching out to you to reach out to me and to others, life was not meant to stand alone, but united!

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,354
Registered: ‎07-17-2010

Re: The power of our words....


@CareBears wrote:

@mistriTsquirrel I thought a couple of days ago that I was headed for a hospital stay as well, sometimes it just feels as if life is just too painful to even bother with, but then I looked over the last couple of days and started keeping a list of all the positive things that have happened!  I met you, so many people on these forums have reached out, I finished a really good book and started another, I tasted an orange that was beyond juicy and sweet, and I looked into my husbands eyes and saw the love he feels for me, had I not been here I never would have experenced any of those, and everyone  of those precious moments in my life made it worth waking up!

 

I  know for me I tend to focus on the "Big Picture" and it becomes scary, unachievable, and just downright impossible, so now I have learned not to do that but to concentrate on the little things that we tend to take for granted every day, when we build those up in our heart and minds those big things do not seem so impossible as the little things  far outweigh the big things, since doing that one little exercise each morning when I wake up life is not so overwhelming!

 

Bad things are going to continue to happen there is no stopping that, right now I am facing a hurdle that I do not even know how to overcome it, and it is consuming me day and night, and I am so ready to give up, but the ultimate ending far outweighs what I would not have in my life if I just abandoned it now, so I keep plugging away and pray every second of the day!

 

I am sincerely reaching out to you to reach out to me and to others, life was not meant to stand alone, but united!


Thanks, @CareBears.

 

It is not so much suicidal thoughts that are getting in my way currently, it's the fact that I am not functioning well.  Unfortunately, the measures I'm taking outside of a hospital don't seem to be doing much, so that's why I'm considering another stay.  My doctor wants me to be on an add-on medication, but they all seem to have such horrible side effects.  I figure if my current medication isn't working anymore after years of being on it, it's probably best to change it rather than trying to use a low-dose add-on with a base medication that doesn't even work.  

 

For me, very little brings me any enjoyment at this point.  And I'm pretty much alone offline.  I wish I had a husband to love me, but I do not.  People I thought were my friends are gone now.  I'm having such trouble just getting out of bed these days that making new friends offline is pretty much impossible right now.

 

I'm kind of in limbo at the moment.  I hope a medication change and some intensive therapy will help me and I'll get back on track.

 

I hope your hurdle is something you can overcome with time and care.  It's definitely harder to overcome things when you're depressed, that's for sure.  

 

Sending you hugs!!

 

((@CareBears))



"Heartburn Can Cause Cancer" -- www.ecan.org
Valued Contributor
Posts: 579
Registered: ‎12-14-2015

Re: The power of our words....

Thats why it is so important for us to all share, we all are more alike  than we know.There is absolutely  power in knowing others care.I hope you precious  posters always reach  out to one another, ask for  prayer, a little chit-chat ,even just a hand across the lines. Never ever give up ,one minute a a time if you have to.You are expected here ,you are part of  others lives now.Share yourselves with others with no fear, you are helping someone ,  You guys hold me up through trials,inspire my heart.I am better because of all of you..Love and hugs,Maryanne