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Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,504
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Re: The doctor said those words today

[ Edited ]

@Vivian, as I think others have suggested, did the doctor offer any medication? There are medications, Aricept for one, that especially when taken in the early stages, can stave off progression of symptoms for some time. You might want to ask him if he thinks it could help - if you think your husband would take it, that is.

 

http://m.alz.org/medications-for-memory-loss.asp

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,664
Registered: ‎05-13-2010

Re: The doctor said those words today

@Vivian  You are in my prayers.  A support group may help with practical concerns.  I know some are going right to having GPS on the person rather than on the phone.  The Alz Assn or your local police may know more about it.  We lost a man in our community in a very sad way--wandering.

Valued Contributor
Posts: 805
Registered: ‎06-25-2015

Re: The doctor said those words today

Vivian, I am so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis.  Actually, there is no true diagnosis for Alzheimers,as you know, but those of us who know our spouse well, can tell what is happening. This happened to my DH and me a little over 4 years ago.  I knew something was not right with him.  He, too , was a PhD- in nuclear engineering-very smart man with a strong work ethic. About 2 years before, his work began to suffer which was so unusual for him.  Then other small things began to come to the surface. He had an MRI and some other test (forget what) and his doctor indicated it was probably Alzheimers. He, unfortunately, was correct.  My husband was only 62 at diagnosis.  He is currently in a memory care facility.

 

I remember how we felt when his diagnosis was confirmed. It was an awful, frightening time. 

 

First thing, be sure your financial papers are in order. Don't put it off. Make sure all is in order.

 

I am sure you are very supportive of your DH. Continue to be but also don''t be afraid to reach out to others for yourself.

 

Please feel free to ask questions any time or just vent. ALZ support groups are great plus online Alz.org has a great message board.

 

Bless both you and your husband.  Prayers for you both. 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,889
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: The doctor said those words today

To answer some questions: My husband is 73. His grandmother died of Alzheimer's when she was 63, so there is a possible genetic component here. He has been on Aricept for three months. The neurologist said the most important things my husband can do are to get plenty of exercise (he works out 5-6 times per week) and to keep his weight normal (he is a Lifetime Weight Watchers' member, at goal). He drinks lots of water every day, like a good Weight Watcher should.

 

I've been married for over 50 years. I know my husband VERY well. As the neurologist said, "There is normal forgetfulness as we age but some of the behaviors described are out of the range of normal aging." My husband has been through all the tests that are conducted but basically they rule out everything else. The neurologist said that if my husband wants, he could send him to Pittsburgh for a spinal tap and PET scan to possibly add more evidence to what we know. My husband doesn't want to go through that and I agree. The treatment is the same anyway, and those tests don't give perfect results. In a few months, my husband returns to the neurologist for more non-invasive tests. Time will tell.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,178
Registered: ‎09-02-2010

@Vivian  I'm sorry you are dealing with this.   My best friend is going through a similar situation.   It's so heartbreaking to have a loved one lose their dignity and not really realize it's happening.   

~~
*Off The Deep End~A very short trip for some!*
Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,658
Registered: ‎04-27-2010

Re: The doctor said those words today

I am very sorry to hear this.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 30,918
Registered: ‎05-10-2010

Re: The doctor said those words today


@Vivian Florimond wrote:

My husband and I went to his neurologist appointment today. Last time, three months ago, after many tests, the doctor said my husband has mild cognitive impairment. Today, after my reporting a couple of events that were very disturbing...my husband not knowing where he was and his not knowing what car he was traveling in, the doctor said those words that I expected but didn't want to hear. My husband is in the early stages of dementia. His forgetfulness is not normal for a man his age. The tests, all of which came back normal, led to the diagnosis. My husband denies it but I know what is true.


 

 

       Of course, you husband is going to deny.  It's frightening for him.  But it isn't necessarily as bad as it could be.  If he is in the mild stage, he might benefit from one of several medications that slow the progression.  He might also benefit from cognitive therapy that also slows the progression.  Your neurologist must have discussed options with you.  If he or she didn't.....run like heck to diiferent neurologist. 

Super Contributor
Posts: 257
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: The doctor said those words today

I am so sorry, will keep your husband and you in my .

Honored Contributor
Posts: 11,045
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: The doctor said those words today


@docsgirl wrote:

Unfortunately, this is your new reality.  My dear, late husband had dementia due to a full cardiac arrest and 14 minutes loss of oxygen to his once brilliant (Ph.D) brain.  When all rehab was done, he was left with the mind of a 5 year old and my heart was broken in a million pieces. He was always my strength and he became totally dependent on me for his very existence.  I had no support system as his sisters refused to accept what happened.  They became angry with me when I went along with some of the things he said and did because I knew that in a few moments he would forget and go on to something else. You can't argue or try to convince as they lose the ability to reason and it only serves to agitate which is not good for them. He always believed in the dignity of every human being and I had to be his advocate for his dignity.  I quit my job to take full-time care of him and refused to place him in a facility. I kept our new life very routine and calm.  I would bathe him and take care of his every need.  When he would get dressed, I would give him 2 choices so as not to overwhelm him but still giving him the ability to make his own decisions.  What really amazed me was people we considered to be close friends were nowhere to be found..not a visit, not a phone call, not a card. I held him in my arms when he took his last breath.  Would I do it again?...absolutely.  It was my honor to care for him as he always took care of me, our son, and my parents.  He's gone 18 years and my broken heart will always love him.  I will be keeping you and your DH in my thoughts and prayers.  God bless both of you.   docsgirlHeart


What abeautiful story, I am so sorry you lost your husband. What a wonderful wife you were.

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**Careful... I have caps lock and I am not afraid to use it.**
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,752
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: The doctor said those words today

@Vivian

 

My heart goes out to you.  I hope you can find a local support group to help you through this, that seems to be so helpful for many people.  There are also support groups online.

 

You made the right decision, not going to Paris with your friend Smiley Happy

 

Thanks for this update, there are many people here who care about you and will offer whatever they can to support you.

 

Noel