The day my best friend past away still haunts me!! - Page 2

happycat · ‎09-18-2010

Please don't beat yourself up. If you had had any idea there was a problem with her heart, I am positive you would have insisted she go get checked out.

There are people who go their whole lives, who never have a friendship like you and your friend did, you were both very blessed.

goldensrbest · ‎03-10-2010

@NicksmomESQ, Those un answered questions we have,can haunt you for ever, but this is not your fault, maybe she did think something was wrong,and that is why she spoke to you what was in her heart,you will never know,but isn't it nice that she said it, i have many unanswered questiond about my sons death, we just will not know,on this side of life.

When you lose some one you L~O~V~E, that Memory of them, becomes a TREASURE.

CANDLEQUEEN · ‎03-09-2010

@NicksmomESQ wrote:
A couple of weeks ago marked the 8th anniversary of the passing of my best friend.We were friends for almost 45 years.She was only 52 & died suddenly of a heart attack.We didn't see eachother a lot but we spoke all the time.We shared our deepest secrets,hopes & dreams.We laughed a lot & cried when we needed to!! We were always there for eachother!!
The day she died we spoke a couple of times.She called me to ask me how I treated my heartburn.I had it for many years & she was having a problem & wanted my advice.She also called to say goodbye,as she & her husband were going to Florida for a few days.After laughing at something funny & saying our goodbyes my friend said"I love you.I just want you to know that!! I'll call you when I get back".I told her that I loved her too.We hung up.We had never said that to eachother before.It was just understood!!
Within a few minutes after we ended our call she told her daughter that she didn't feel well & was going to lay down. She never got up!! Just minutes after we spoke my best friend,my sister passed away!! Did she sense something was going to happen? Is that why she suddenly said she loved me?
When she told me she had heartburn I should have sent her to the emergency room!! I never suspected that it could be her heart.Her daughter told me that she had had a minor heart problem a few years prior.She never told me because she didn't want me to worry!! If only I had known.I was her best friend I should have known!!
In the last 8 years 2 of her daughter's have gotten married.She has 3 beautiful grandchildren that she would have adored.My son who she loved like her own graduated from college with honors & is attending law school.Her husband aches for her!! She has missed so much!! I can't help feeling that I should have sensed that she had more than heartburn.If only I had known!!

Hi Nicksmom,

After reading your post, I felt the need to tell you a story that I will make into a very shortened version. 11 months ago, I went into Cardiac Arrest at home, and luckily for me my husband found me slumped over in the chair, called 911 and after many attempts to get my heart started again, the medics were able to and I went to the hospital still unconscious, where I went into ICU..Had a lot of test, etc done, and a stent put in, but no previous heart problems. However when this was all said and done, my husband told me that I came home that afternoon with a stomach ache, and I sat with the heating pad on my back for several hours......I also found out that women have different symptoms than men....For most of us heartburn or an upset stomach would not make us go to the emergency room, however since that is one of the number one symptoms for women, it is better to be safe than too late.....My deepest sympathy to you in the loss of your friend. She was so very young, and I am sure it is still very hard on you and her family, looking at everything she has missed, but know that she is smiling down on all of you every day!

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

@NicksmomESQ wrote:
A couple of weeks ago marked the 8th anniversary of the passing of my best friend.We were friends for almost 45 years.She was only 52 & died suddenly of a heart attack.We didn't see eachother a lot but we spoke all the time.We shared our deepest secrets,hopes & dreams.We laughed a lot & cried when we needed to!! We were always there for eachother!!
The day she died we spoke a couple of times.She called me to ask me how I treated my heartburn.I had it for many years & she was having a problem & wanted my advice.She also called to say goodbye,as she & her husband were going to Florida for a few days.After laughing at something funny & saying our goodbyes my friend said"I love you.I just want you to know that!! I'll call you when I get back".I told her that I loved her too.We hung up.We had never said that to eachother before.It was just understood!!
Within a few minutes after we ended our call she told her daughter that she didn't feel well & was going to lay down. She never got up!! Just minutes after we spoke my best friend,my sister passed away!! Did she sense something was going to happen? Is that why she suddenly said she loved me?
When she told me she had heartburn I should have sent her to the emergency room!! I never suspected that it could be her heart.Her daughter told me that she had had a minor heart problem a few years prior.She never told me because she didn't want me to worry!! If only I had known. I was her best friend I should have known!!
In the last 8 years 2 of her daughter's have gotten married.She has 3 beautiful grandchildren that she would have adored.My son who she loved like her own graduated from college with honors & is attending law school.Her husband aches for her!! She has missed so much!! I can't help feeling that I should have sensed that she had more than heartburn. If only I had known!!

@NicksmomESQ

I'm so sorry that your dear friend passed away, but there's really no way you could have known. Even if she HAD gone to the ER, she might not have been seen for hours and died in the waiting room. Even the people who were right there in her home didn't think anything major was happening. How could you know from miles away?

IMO, you're beating yourself up unnecessarily ..... when your time is up, it's up. Since it was her time, passing in her sleep is such an easy way to go. I really hope that I go that way.

Celebrate her life and be there for her family ..... that's really all you can do.

IamMrsG · ‎08-29-2010

@NicksmomESQ I understand and am sorry for your loss. Today is the 16th anniversary of the death of someone very, very dear to me.

As things turn out, I 'found' this on Facebook this morning:

When you died, it was the biggest shock of my life.

Nothing prepared me for it.

I live each day wondering how I'll get through it, and

then I remember that you would want me to

I hope it helps, even if just a little.

Strive for respect instead of attention. It lasts longer.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

You feel guilty but you have absolutely no reason to feel any guilt. You were not her doctor, she said she had heartburn and you accepted that, as anyone would. People do get hearburn. You couldn't have foreseen what would happen. She never disclosed that she had a heart condition, I suspect that had more to do with denial than not wanting to alarm you. Knowing that she did have a heart condition, she probably should have gone to the ED. But again, she was probably in denial and even in this day and age, many women do not know how heart attacks can manifest in women. It's not the same as it is in men. Women often experience what they think is hearburn or a back ache or often (as with my mother) no pain at all. Just fatigue and and shortness of breath. It's time for you to let it go and accept that you couldn't have changed what happened.

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

I am so sorry for your loss, but as the other posters have said, you couldn't have possibly known.

granny me · ‎09-05-2014

I am sorry.

sassenach1 · ‎03-09-2010

@NicksmomESQ

Oh, ((((hugs)))) to you. Please, please know that you could not have prevented your BF's death. I truly believe that before we come into this world we have a life plan, with lessons to learn. We also choose how we will die. Your friend would not want you to feel this way. She told you she loved you. Keep that love as a gift and a happy memory. Honor her by putting away your guilt and spreading the love in your life.

lincoln · ‎12-26-2016

So sorry for the loss of your best friend. I had an elderly Doctor tell me if you think you have heartburn take an antacid if it goes away it is heart burn if not it is a heart attack. One of the first things some people do is go into denial out of fear. Your friend may have had a feeling and she wanted you to know she loved you if anything serious did happen and it did. I had two friends that got a hold of me before they died. One by sending a card and telling me how she felt about me and how I was one of the few that could make her laugh. The other through a phone call and as I was crying because she was so brave knowing she was dying. So I feel your sadness. There really aren't any words in my opinion that help. I found that I just cry until I can't cry anymore. I pray for God's help along the way and thank him for the people and fur kids that pass though my life until he calls me home.