The Best That I Could Do........

Thrive · ‎08-03-2011

Hello,

I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago in reference to the loss of my dad. So many of you were gracious to respond. I mentioned that my dad had a female friend who continues to call my sister and I. The problem is that she does not filter what she says when she calls. She tends to make us feel worse. I know that she is sad too. However, her conversation seems to be about her and it makes us feel bad. Well she called today and I did not pick up the phone. I decided to text her and let her know that I am not up to talking right now with my dad's birthday being tomorrow. I told her that I would be in touch next week and I wished her well. Do you think that I handled this well? I noticed that she saw the text. However, she did not respond.

Thank you

GSPgirl · ‎01-03-2012

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in 2008. You handled it very well. I have learnd in my 50's that it's OK to say no to people who don't lift us up and just want to bring us down. Hold true to who you are and your actions. You are grieving and you need to take care of yourself and protect your heart.

Thrive · ‎08-03-2011

Thank you so much. I am trying to do exactly what you said and protect my heart. It is just so painful right now. I can only take one day at a time. The things that this lady says seems to be without regard of our feelings. Perhaps she means well. Nevertheless, it is very hurtful.

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

Yes, you handled it well. Stand your ground and do the same whenever you are not up to talking with her.

ECBG · ‎01-08-2011

@GCR18 wrote:
Yes, you handled it well. Stand your ground and do the same whenever you are not up to talking with her.

*********************Great answer!

GSPgirl · ‎01-03-2012

You are welcome. Stay strong.

Q4u · ‎03-17-2010

@Furry wrote:
Hello,
I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago in reference to the loss of my dad. So many of you were gracious to respond. I mentioned that my dad had a female friend who continues to call my sister and I. The problem is that she does not filter what she says when she calls. She tends to make us feel worse. I know that she is sad too. However, her conversation seems to be about her and it makes us feel bad. Well she called today and I did not pick up the phone. I decided to text her and let her know that I am not up to talking right now with my dad's birthday being tomorrow. I told her that I would be in touch next week and I wished her well. Do you think that I handled this well? I noticed that she saw the text. However, she did not respond.
Thank you

Not only did you handle it well, you handled it SUPREMELY WELL~!

It's unfortunate that there are people out there who don't have the sensitivity and understanding required to understand the depth of loss and grieving that others have! They only seem to understand their own pain.

I lost both my Mom and Dad in 1996. I was an only child and didn't have anyone related to me living any more, other than my husband and two sons. It was a huge loss for me, not only losing them, but the empty, lost feeling that there was no one left to talk to about them prior to my husband coming into my life. No one to laugh and remember them and my childhood. I was bereft for quite a while..... and one "friend" I had just swamped me non stop with her own problems. I couldn't deal with her problems at all and wouldn't.... it wasn't what I needed and I needed support badly. We actually drifted apart permanently after that because I was her friend only due to what I could help her with.....

You were very kind to this lady and I'm sure she's hurting as well. You have to take care of YOU during this time and that's okay. Do what you need to do to come out the other side of this in the best way you can.... and believe me, you will.... *hug*

*~"Never eat more than you can lift......" Miss Piggy~*

dex · ‎03-09-2010

I think it is important for you to grieve and heal in your own way..I am sure his friend is grieving too but she can't rely on you to help her through this if you aren't able to.

you should never feel bad about taking care of yourself and your feelings at a time like this.I don't know how close you are to this friend but she meant something to your dad so I think it was nice of you to say you would call when you are up to it.