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@just bee wrote:
@KaySD wrote:@geezerette @just bee @aprilskies
What you are saying about the yongsters growing up in these times is so true. And I guess the same could be said about everyone...
I have a lot of confidence in the young people. Yes, damage has been done. Yes, they will be affected by the times they are living in, and by their parents' generation, and increasingly, by what's going on all over the world. Plus, it's harder to see, but I believe there is a great deal of goodness and creativity going on along with the damage and pain.
And childhood isn't destiny. We have a million examples to show that. The younger ones will grow up and they are their own people, with their own choices to make. I think they have a great deal of knowledge and experience and wisdom to draw on. Probably more than I'm even capable of perceiving. What they choose might not be my choice, but that hardly matters--it doesn't need to be.
Am I a cockeyed optimist? Could be. I do choose to have faith that everything is in divine order. Maybe those two things are the same.
I just remember when I was a kid and anything that happened to me was the most important thing in the world. Struggles with algebra. Someone looked at me cross-eyed. I got a "B." Acne.
My parents would just look at me like I was from another galaxy. And I couldn't figure out why they weren't concerned.
These were people who lived through the Great Depression and World War 2. And that was only the half of it.
They had something that I don't see in my younger patients or in their parents: Coping skills.
And that's a problem. Will they develop them at some point? It used to be that you had them by the time you hit adulthood. But I'm seeing adults who don't have them.
And I'm one of them.
I'm envious of people that can take what life throws at them without dissolving into a quivering mass of jelly.
Not only were my parents--and those of their generation and before--resilient, they were silent about all they'd gone through and witnessed. I only learned maybe half of the things my parents went through by the time I was an adult.
Oh sure, I got the "things were so much harder in my day" and the ubiquitous "I walked seven miles to school in the snow--uphill both ways"🤨🤣 routines. But I mean the really horrible, nightmarish experiences they had.
And today I feel guilty that I didn't understand and appreciate them more when I was young. And the other people around me that had it even worse.
At this point in my life I look back and do a lot of reflecting and wish I'd done many things differently. It's only natural.
The one thing I don't wish is that I'd bought more stuff. And that's what I try to keep at the top of my mind when I start to buy a lot of things now.
@geezerette wrote:
@just bee wrote:
@KaySD wrote:@geezerette @just bee @aprilskies
What you are saying about the yongsters growing up in these times is so true. And I guess the same could be said about everyone...
I have a lot of confidence in the young people. Yes, damage has been done. Yes, they will be affected by the times they are living in, and by their parents' generation, and increasingly, by what's going on all over the world. Plus, it's harder to see, but I believe there is a great deal of goodness and creativity going on along with the damage and pain.
And childhood isn't destiny. We have a million examples to show that. The younger ones will grow up and they are their own people, with their own choices to make. I think they have a great deal of knowledge and experience and wisdom to draw on. Probably more than I'm even capable of perceiving. What they choose might not be my choice, but that hardly matters--it doesn't need to be.
Am I a cockeyed optimist? Could be. I do choose to have faith that everything is in divine order. Maybe those two things are the same.
I just remember when I was a kid and anything that happened to me was the most important thing in the world. Struggles with algebra. Someone looked at me cross-eyed. I got a "B." Acne.
My parents would just look at me like I was from another galaxy. And I couldn't figure out why they weren't concerned.
These were people who lived through the Great Depression and World War 2. And that was only the half of it.
They had something that I don't see in my younger patients or in their parents: Coping skills.
And that's a problem. Will they develop them at some point? It used to be that you had them by the time you hit adulthood. But I'm seeing adults who don't have them.
And I'm one of them.
I'm envious of people that can take what life throws at them without dissolving into a quivering mass of jelly.
Not only were my parents--and those of their generation and before--resilient, they were silent about all they'd gone through and witnessed. I only learned maybe half of the things my parents went through by the time I was an adult.
Oh sure, I got the "things were so much harder in my day" and the ubiquitous "I walked seven miles to school in the snow--uphill both ways"🤨🤣 routines. But I mean the really horrible, nightmarish experiences they had.
And today I feel guilty that I didn't understand and appreciate them more when I was young. And the other people around me that had it even worse.
At this point in my life I look back and do a lot of reflecting and wish I'd done many things differently. It's only natural.
The one thing I don't wish is that I'd bought more stuff. And that's what I try to keep at the top of my mind when I start to buy a lot of things now.
One realizes all this way too late. But I guess that's still better than not realizing it at all.
@just bee wrote:
@KaySD wrote:@geezerette @just bee @aprilskies
What you are saying about the yongsters growing up in these times is so true. And I guess the same could be said about everyone...
I have a lot of confidence in the young people. Yes, damage has been done. Yes, they will be affected by the times they are living in, and by their parents' generation, and increasingly, by what's going on all over the world. Plus, it's harder to see, but I believe there is a great deal of goodness and creativity going on along with the damage and pain.
And childhood isn't destiny. We have a million examples to show that. The younger ones will grow up and they are their own people, with their own choices to make. I think they have a great deal of knowledge and experience and wisdom to draw on. Probably more than I'm even capable of perceiving. What they choose might not be my choice, but that hardly matters--it doesn't need to be.
Am I a cockeyed optimist? Could be. I do choose to have faith that everything is in divine order. Maybe those two things are the same.
I just remember when I was a kid and anything that happened to me was the most important thing in the world. Struggles with algebra. Someone looked at me cross-eyed. I got a "B." Acne.
My parents would just look at me like I was from another galaxy. And I couldn't figure out why they weren't concerned.
These were people who lived through the Great Depression and World War 2. And that was only the half of it.
They had something that I don't see in my younger patients or in their parents: Coping skills.
And that's a problem. Will they develop them at some point? It used to be that you had them by the time you hit adulthood. But I'm seeing adults who don't have them.
Yeah. Perspective is always wanted, and always helps. Don't you think this is a lifelong process? I have lots more coping skills and resilience every year. At least I think I do.
Meanwhile, the young'uns are farther removed from my own age and understanding every year. So what do I know?
I can't give anyone perspective, so I'm inclined to think the only way I might help is to hold them in the most positive regard i can, believe in them, judge as little as possible. And stay away from them if I'm not enjoying their company!
I'm guessing you don't see people at their best in your work? I admire your caring and courage!
@geezerette wrote:
@just bee wrote:
@KaySD wrote:@geezerette @just bee @aprilskies
What you are saying about the yongsters growing up in these times is so true. And I guess the same could be said about everyone...
I have a lot of confidence in the young people. Yes, damage has been done. Yes, they will be affected by the times they are living in, and by their parents' generation, and increasingly, by what's going on all over the world. Plus, it's harder to see, but I believe there is a great deal of goodness and creativity going on along with the damage and pain.
And childhood isn't destiny. We have a million examples to show that. The younger ones will grow up and they are their own people, with their own choices to make. I think they have a great deal of knowledge and experience and wisdom to draw on. Probably more than I'm even capable of perceiving. What they choose might not be my choice, but that hardly matters--it doesn't need to be.
Am I a cockeyed optimist? Could be. I do choose to have faith that everything is in divine order. Maybe those two things are the same.
I just remember when I was a kid and anything that happened to me was the most important thing in the world. Struggles with algebra. Someone looked at me cross-eyed. I got a "B." Acne.
My parents would just look at me like I was from another galaxy. And I couldn't figure out why they weren't concerned.
These were people who lived through the Great Depression and World War 2. And that was only the half of it.
They had something that I don't see in my younger patients or in their parents: Coping skills.
And that's a problem. Will they develop them at some point? It used to be that you had them by the time you hit adulthood. But I'm seeing adults who don't have them.
And I'm one of them.
I'm envious of people that can take what life throws at them without dissolving into a quivering mass of jelly.
Not only were my parents--and those of their generation and before--resilient, they were silent about all they'd gone through and witnessed. I only learned maybe half of the things my parents went through by the time I was an adult.
Oh sure, I got the "things were so much harder in my day" and the ubiquitous "I walked seven miles to school in the snow--uphill both ways"🤨🤣 routines. But I mean the really horrible, nightmarish experiences they had.
And today I feel guilty that I didn't understand and appreciate them more when I was young. And the other people around me that had it even worse.
At this point in my life I look back and do a lot of reflecting and wish I'd done many things differently. It's only natural.
The one thing I don't wish is that I'd bought more stuff. And that's what I try to keep at the top of my mind when I start to buy a lot of things now.
Yes! But with all due respect to our parents' experiences, maybe there is such a thing as too much coping.
I know I grew up learning, at least partly, that I had to just swallow whatever life handed out, and get on with it. That made me feel brace but beleaguered, empty and a bit hopeless--which did not sit comfortably with my natural vitality and heart. Thus setting up a long term sort of struggle to reconcile acceptance of what is with allowance of who I really am.
Not sure if that makes any sense to anyone but me.
Life's a bit tricky. I need to be patient with myself.
@KaySD wrote:
@geezerette wrote:
@just bee wrote:
@KaySD wrote:@geezerette @just bee @aprilskies
What you are saying about the yongsters growing up in these times is so true. And I guess the same could be said about everyone...
I have a lot of confidence in the young people. Yes, damage has been done. Yes, they will be affected by the times they are living in, and by their parents' generation, and increasingly, by what's going on all over the world. Plus, it's harder to see, but I believe there is a great deal of goodness and creativity going on along with the damage and pain.
And childhood isn't destiny. We have a million examples to show that. The younger ones will grow up and they are their own people, with their own choices to make. I think they have a great deal of knowledge and experience and wisdom to draw on. Probably more than I'm even capable of perceiving. What they choose might not be my choice, but that hardly matters--it doesn't need to be.
Am I a cockeyed optimist? Could be. I do choose to have faith that everything is in divine order. Maybe those two things are the same.
I just remember when I was a kid and anything that happened to me was the most important thing in the world. Struggles with algebra. Someone looked at me cross-eyed. I got a "B." Acne.
My parents would just look at me like I was from another galaxy. And I couldn't figure out why they weren't concerned.
These were people who lived through the Great Depression and World War 2. And that was only the half of it.
They had something that I don't see in my younger patients or in their parents: Coping skills.
And that's a problem. Will they develop them at some point? It used to be that you had them by the time you hit adulthood. But I'm seeing adults who don't have them.
And I'm one of them.
I'm envious of people that can take what life throws at them without dissolving into a quivering mass of jelly.
Not only were my parents--and those of their generation and before--resilient, they were silent about all they'd gone through and witnessed. I only learned maybe half of the things my parents went through by the time I was an adult.
Oh sure, I got the "things were so much harder in my day" and the ubiquitous "I walked seven miles to school in the snow--uphill both ways"🤨🤣 routines. But I mean the really horrible, nightmarish experiences they had.
And today I feel guilty that I didn't understand and appreciate them more when I was young. And the other people around me that had it even worse.
At this point in my life I look back and do a lot of reflecting and wish I'd done many things differently. It's only natural.
The one thing I don't wish is that I'd bought more stuff. And that's what I try to keep at the top of my mind when I start to buy a lot of things now.
Yes! But with all due respect to our parents' experiences, maybe there is such a thing as too much coping.
I know I grew up learning, at least partly, that I had to just swallow whatever life handed out, and get on with it. That made me feel brace but beleaguered, empty and a bit hopeless--which did not sit comfortably with my natural vitality and heart. Thus setting up a long term sort of struggle to reconcile acceptance of what is with allowance of who I really am.
Not sure if that makes any sense to anyone but me.
Life's a bit tricky. I need to be patient with myself.
I think that most often the attitude of "the devil you know is better than the one you don't" is promoted because those doing so feel it's the safer way to go. Parents tend to want their children safe. Or at least in an environment that they (the parents) can control if they (the children) step in doo-doo. Once established in whatever comfortable environment they've found/made for themselves, they tend to forget that all (or at least most) young people want to break away from that establishment at some point, even if it's only partially or temporarily. I.e., the generation that leaves their home in the old world to come to a new and completely unknown one often doesn't want their own offspring to move on to a new life experience somewhere else.
Some of it was the times, but it also depends on the personality of the individuals involved. And quite often those that are doing the stifling think they're being the most open and accommodating, and would be flabbergasted to learn their offspring felt otherwise.
In the end, I think your feelings are those that generations have faced throughout our human history.
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